Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-04-02
9:51 a.m.

Play that funky music

All right Broads, now let's not get our lecherous britches in a bunch over Simon's little mind-fuck, shall we? This is what Simon does � it's a t.v. show, and he is exercising his inalienable right to play one side against the other, having known almost from the get-go that this show will most assuredly come down to Ruben and Clay. Does it make him look like a putz? Possibly. Yeah, so last night he told Ruben he should win; in last week's Entertainment Weekly he said it'd be Clay. He knows the score, and knows what's going to get people riled up. You know, I'll take Cowell's bilious jabs over Jackson's "dawg"-prefaced pointers and Abdul's bland compliments any day.

As fellow Broad Paula has said: these kids know what they're getting into here. Weep not for them; they're made of tougher stuff than you think.

So - I gotta say, the earth tones do not suit Clay. Texturally, you can't go wrong with a shiny shirt, but dressed as he was in shades of brown, he just looked like a disco corndog up there. Still, major squeal factor on the final note. Two words: breath control. I'll leave it up to you all to put the appropriate lecherous spin on that.

Josh: wretched. Just awful. You can see that kind of thing on any karaoke night in any city. Before anyone gets all, "Ohhhh, but disco just isn't his thing," let me wax Cowell-esque here for a moment and say this: bollocks. Know your weaknesses and work with them. Anyone who watched last season knows that not every theme is going to "suit" everyone on that stage. If you've got all the funk of a two-day-old piece of cold pizza, the worst thing you can do is just go up there on autopilot because you don't like what you're doing, which is exactly what Josh did. What he should've done was "Play That Funky Music White Boy." It suits his voice and people would've gotten the joke.

But you know, hey, I'm not in charge over there, which is why I had to make this site.

Personally, I thought the guy from Earth, Wind & Fire was awesome. He made my day. Every time the camera panned over to him, I giggled my ass right off.

My predictions for bottom three: Rickey, Carmen and (yes) Josh. I think it'll be Rickey that gets the boot.

Discuss.

-Lisa

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