Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-04-03
3:16 p.m.

Haiku

So, it was bound to happen sooner or later, but the Clay Aiken fan fiction and poetry has started popping up on some of the other sites.

By and large, I'm not a big fan of this sort of thing, but I'm nothing if not aware of the need to keep up with some of the other, more polished sites out there (I'm of the opinion that our little community is regarded as the stunted little court jester in the grand scheme of all things Clay), so with that in mind, I give you:

Clay Aiken Haiku


Oh, that Clay Aiken -
He sings just like Rick Astley.
He makes my toes curl.

Blue shirt or brown shirt?
Unbutton it just a tad -
it all works for me.

What�s up with the hair?
It�s flat iron and hairspray!
Ask Ryan Seacrest.

Another Tuesday!
If Clay bites his lower lip,
I will wet my pants.

-Lisa

*****


Why are you so scared?
You have a thousand older
Biddies on your tail

Ninteen Eighty-four
Perform a song from that year-
I shall poop my pants

-Paula

*****

Oh, brown-shirted Clay
You're a tiger in my dreams
Peel me like a grape.

-Shari


*****
Seacrest appears
and brings to broads a chance to rest
from lusting after their Clay.

*** HAIKU POLICE!!!
Line 1 = 4 syllables
Line 2 = 8 syllables
Line 3 = 7 syllables
This is NOT Haiku!
Please correct and repost. ***

Corey Clark is out.
Our fragrant boy-blossom sings.
A perfect evening!

-Chandra

Actually, I'm more than willing to overlook the syllabic error of the first effort in light of the sheer brilliance of the phrase "fragrant boy-blossom." --Lisa

Apologies, Lisa, but the above was translated from the Japanese�hence the off-kilter scansion. I offer the following 11-syllable version, as per the Ezra Pound, "anything goes in English" model of haiku.--Chandra the Chastened

Clay onstage:
no rest from passion
for hot broads

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