Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-04-16
6:13 p.m.

Bobbleheads and Dirndls

Just as I take some coffee with my cream, tonight I took a little American Idol with my commercials. There�s nothing like watching the show on tape to realize just how little show there really is.

I think the only ones on the mark were Clay and Kim Locke. As I said earlier, listening to KimberMe is like listening to a hammer beat the hell out of the few notes she can reach. No color. Bad pitch. Ruben is one-dimensional to me�the very criticism so often leveled at Clay. One of the few things he does on stage is reach out in front of him. Last night, though, he looked like a sweating bobblehead doll. Kim Locke did well. She actually sang a phrase here or there, complete with movement and shape. Carmen�s performance isn�t worth talking about, poor darling. Wow. Awful. The cotton t-shirt under the neon tube dress was the visual equivalent of her singing. Josh�s gestures and facial expressions bug me. He has little breath control and a shaky lower range and is without nuance. Trenyce has never impressed me, over much. Last night, minus her usual caterwauling and where the song begged for phrasing with dynamics and shape, she couldn�t deliver. And her pitch was not good. And if I want to watch someone fellate a microphone, I'll follow a link in some of the spam I get, thanks.

I won�t bother saying much about Clay because I�m utterly besotted. His voice, to me, is comfort and excitement and the taste of mango juice dripping down the side of my face as I run my teeth over the pit. Simon is right to talk about his facial expressions. I find them endearing, but the Clay haters are as bugged by his adorable sideways smile as I am bugged by Josh�s scowl. To win the competition, Clay is going to have to tone that mannerism down. He seems to know it, given his reaction to Simon�s comment.

That�s my take, Broads and Broadsters. I�m thinking either Kim Caldwell or Trenyce will be out tonight. Carmen�s tweenie fan base�plus the state of Utah�will pull her through, I think. And props (would someone please tell me what that means?) to Gregoire, the author of The Holy Book of Clay that Trinity posted. Great writing, as is a lot of the stuff in the LBFCA guestbook.

--Chandra

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