2003-05-03
5:16 p.m.

Simon's Dirty Little Secret

Excellent. Everything is going according to plan. I have fooled the masses into thinking I’m for Ruben so there would appear to be a contest. My real choice for American Idol is peaking. He’s a marketer’s dream: Sassy, sexy, soulful, and obsession-inducing.

Hail Clay—the North American Idol. God, he’s soooooo dreamy. I wonder if any new articles about him have appeared? I’d better get back to googling.

-Chandra

P.S. I can’t give credit where credit is due; I don’t know the source of this inspired picture. Surfin’ Sandi's the Broad who found it.