2003-07-21
7:32 a.m.

BEVR: MotorCityGal/Detroit

Clay Does Hockeytown

Dateline: Detroit, MI. 07/20/2003.

5:15 P.M. Call to Joe Lewis Arena confirms the standard camera policy for The Joe is in effect... no cameras with lenses over 50mm. Mr. MotorCityGal, a professional photographer, scraps plans to take pro equipment and get the goods on Clay. Says if a security guard touches his camera, he'd have to take him out.

6:00 P.M. Arrive at The Joe. Freeways not bad, parking not bad, amateur digital camera we are taking in... bad! But Hubby assures me he can get pictures with it.

6:15 P.M. Waiting on the steps to The Joe, I look around for red shoes. I spot a pair! Oh, wait, they're MINE. No one in this crowd of 500 or so people waiting in this particular spot is wearing red shoes... except me.

6:20 P.M. Looking around for signs of Clay-doration. Nothing! Hubby spots a girl nearby with a t-shirt that says "Aikin' something" and nudges me. I turn around and the shirt says, "Aikin' 4 Ruben." What's Up With That? Are there no other Clay fans in Detroit? Has the city of my birth let me down?

6:22 P.M. A local news crew with requisite color guy is staging a clip. They're inviting people with signs to gather behind the reporter, scream and run forward holding up their signs while the reporter gives his 10-second spiel. Couple of Ruben signs. Couple of Kim Locke signs, one with a real lock attached to the edge. A Josh sign with American flags taped across the top. No Clay signs! Driving in Detroit at rush hour, I have often thought I was the only intelligent creature in town. Now I'm convinced. Will have to look into moving to another city. I'm about to disown the place I've lived my entire life.

6:30 P.M. Doors open. It's slow going. The concert is sold out. Passing through the metal detectors, I look around for ANY sign of a fellow Broad. I'll settle at this point for a Clay fan of any persuasion. Nothing!

7:20 P.M. We are in our seats. (I told you it was slow going.) I've got the binoculars out and I'm looking for Kelly. Of course, I won't know her if I see her unless she's holding her Shoes sign. The couple in front of us turn around. She's wearing a Clay t-shirt! I point to my red shoes. She mentions her kids and hubby are here with her under protest. We lament the lack of outward indications of Clay-love, and note "those people" just don't get it.

7:30 P.M. The puck is dropped! An on-time start. About half the seats are still empty. Where is the sell-out crowd? Still on the freeway, perhaps? As the montage of AI2 contestants begins to play on the Jumbotrons flanking the stage, Clay-in-Atlanta flashes on. (Clay flashing? Is it hot in here? But I digress...) The arena erupts in screaming, people are jumping, clapping... the commotion quiets as others are shown, then builds again every time Clay comes up. YEAH! My faith in humanity is restored. I discard plans to contact my real estate agent in the morning.

7:35 P.M. to 8:08 P.M. We are yawning through Charles, Ricky, KimberME, Carmen, et.al., although I must say Charles dances well and is entertaining to watch. Hubby uses this time to experiment with the camera and determines he will not be able to take pictures for me. He doesn't like auto-everything equipment and is not willing to take a less-than-perfect shot. I confiscate the camera.

8:10 P.M. Clay rises through the smoke for TITN. He's wearing the black suit. Hold the horses! He's not wearing the purple tie. He's not wearing any tie. He's wearing... WHAT? An orange-striped shirt with a shirt-tail hem, hanging out. Who let the fashion coordinator go on vacation? But the song, of course, is Clay-fabulous and he hits that last glory note just right.

The concert has begun!

Clay says something about the crowd (ROAR) and that this is the largest crowd they've had (More ROAR). He asks for lights and reads all the signs he can see. He is laughing, and finally says that Detroit folks are too creative. Walking across the stage, he steps on something hidden in the remnants of dry-ice-smoke. When he picks it up... oh, it's roses. Is he disappointed? No, he's his usual gracious self.

8:14 P.M. Clay introduces Ruben. He's chatting about his friend, and Hubby notes he cannot hear clearly. In fact he notes he hasn't been able to hear clearly since the whole thing started, but it didn't bother him before. He says - who booked The Joe for this tour, it's a hockey arena, fercrissake. We HAVE concert venues in Detroit, why aren't we THERE?

8:52 P.M. Intermission and the first group number is over. The girls are onstage razzing Clay about his dancing. Clay says he's just getting worse as the tour goes on. The boy is wrong! Nothing wrong with his dancing - he just didn't do the shoulder-thingy. The girls demonstrate the shoulder-thingy and then do their interpretation of Clay "not-doing" the shoulder-thingy. Clay invites the audience to try it. Listen up Broads... this might be your ticket at a future concert. Clay is selecting people from the audience who can do the move and telling "Jerome" to give them backstage passes.

9:31 P.M. Finally, Clay is singing Can You Feel The Love Tonight. He is wonderful. Look out, Elton John. The screaming, jumping, and general commotion when Clay is onstage is noticeably louder - and longer - than for anyone else. Detroit did get it right.

9:40 P.M. There is more of the others now, but I'm not paying attention. Stomach flutters are signaling what I hope is the impending encore "Invisible" and the now-renowned jersey clutch.

9:56 P.M. The lights dimmed a few minutes ago, the concert apparently over. But, thanks to the previous BEVRs, I know the best is yet to come. I tell Hubby to sit down. We are NOT leaving. Suddenly, Clay is there wearing... YES!!!!

A Red Wings jersey!!!! It fits him well and he looks HOT! The crowd roars with approval.

Clay waits through the ruckus and talks to us, saying that the people of Raleigh will be "spittin' mad" at him if they see him in this jersey. Again, the house literally comes down. Then, our Clay says he might have to MOVE TO DETROIT after this. Now people are not screaming, "CLAY! CLAY!" They are screaming, "YES! YES! YES!" And in true gentlemanly style, Clay talks about the Red Wings beating out the Carolina Hurricanes for the Stanley Cup 2 years ago.

Finally, the song. I'm torn between just watching on the Jumbotron and trying to get a jersey-shot with that bugger of a tiny little camera. Jersey-shot wins. Can't leave without getting Clay wearing the Red Wings goods. Missed the shot of the clutch but it was there - saw it in person, me, myself, and I. That man is awesome.

Sometime after 10:00 P.M. God Bless the USA. Clay is not singing. He might be crying. He's certainly got some powerful emotion going on, as do we all. I'm almost crying too, because in another minute or so, the experience will be over. But worth it. Worth the exorbitant scalper ticket price I paid. Worth the freeway hassles. Worth the hour-long wait to leave the parking garage. Worth staying up well past bedtime and then hopping a plane in the wee hours next morning. WAAAAAAY worth it.

6:00 A.M. Monday, July 21, 2003. Dang, if that song "Invisible" hasn't been playing in my head since the moment I got up today. I read somewhere on the Internet about a technique to get those songs that keep playing in your head to go away. But, HEY! I don't wanna....

MotorCityGal

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Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report of Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin', white-leather-wearin', DTTR revealin', mic-flickin', thigh-strokin', eye-f***in', smokin', jokin', singin', hunk-o-burnin' libido."