2003-07-26
9:27 a.m.

The Ranch: Cookhouse

The Ranch: Cookhouse

Because our Cinnamon Swirl is known for his large appetite, it is crucial to have superlative abilities in the Cookhouse of the Double-O Wild BEVR Ranch. We have certainly attained a master chef in our Head Cook Wendy (aka Clay's Cookie). As someone who can obviously stand the heat, Clay's Cookie is not only in charge of keeping the heat in the kitchen but also in charge of rounding up cooking supplies - so frequent trips in her (mighty horse powered) truck are required...sometimes it takes Wendy a ding dang long time to make it back to the Ranch.

Cookie Wendy tends to be more than a bit territorial about her kitchen, but does allow limited access to her staff.

Here's the rest of her Cookhouse Crew:

Sassygram - Cook's Apprentice (she says she hired on mainly because she believes the way to a man's pants is through his stomach, but she jest might have her Ol' Wives Tales mixed up, or, not).

Cella - Apple Peeler, plus, she's happy to spread the peanut butter, an lick it off, too.

Donna - Bar Maid, as hydration for our Stallion is essential, especially after all his long workouts (she is also on our Health Services staff as Dietician).

Marie - Milk Maid. Now, you might be surprised seeing our Marie in her skank ho heels (usually red), and short skirts with frilly lacy bloomers. She's been considered a bit scandalous, by some, what with her dresses, that have a bodice with overall-type straps, that were obviously meant to be worn with a shirt underneath, but, well, she seems to always ferget to put hers on (she jest replies to the dirty looks by saying "it's hot on the Ranch, y'all."). But, goll darn if she ain't a happy Milk Maid, that gal seems to really like to milk things. Also, she can be heard singing at all times. Mostly duets with Our Freckled Stallion. There is plenty a singin' heard while the milkin's a goin' on. Well, the rest of us got ta agree, there can never be too much singin' on the ranch.

Cookie Wendy runs a tight kitchen, with all the modern conveniences, light sabers, and everything. Jest fer show, we keep this ol' style Chuck Wagon on display at The Ranch.

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Special appreciation to all the contributors to the LBFCA Ranch Series, including:

Sandi for her song; Marie for the Ranch photos; Cindy and Katynka for the awesome Ranch Gate; our pardners from PRoC, from whom we rustled the to-die-for pic of (oops, Nelle will fill y'all in on that pic after it appears); an unknown Broad at TTC for the bucking Clay; Katynka for her hot hot branding graphics and animation magic; Ruth and Debra for the Stud-Thud Muffin recipe; as well as every Broad and Brude named in the series, who each contributed their own lecherous job description.

Most especially, Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken expresses appreciation to Mr. Clay Aiken, Our Idol Always and Forever, for every way that he inspires our lechery and devotion on a daily basis, for those times when he knows what he's doing to us, and for those times when he just doesn't get it himself.