Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-07-27
10:56 a.m.

The Ranch: Job Fair & Expansion

The Ranch: Job Fair & Expansion

You might find it surprising, but jest since this tour of The Double-O Wild BEVR Ranch began, we've had a growing pool of candidates for staff positions. Yes, women folk are jumpin at the staff opportunities here at The Double-O. Because the economy is looking up (and we like all things ta be lookin up, down at The Ranch), we have opened our hiring process and held a recent job fair. These Broads will have Double-O Orientation next week, and, we want to give them notice for their fine resumes submitted, even if they were ding dang late.

Our Marketing Director, RainJane, ran an advertisement for a Livestock Judge, and who landed the job but our own Muffin Rustler, Ruth. This is a key position, as we need to be sure Buttercream retains his credentials as Best in Breed/Magnificent Male Animal category. Ruth believes she's up to the task.

Deb is planning to cozy up as Bunkmate. She's eager, and we cain't fault that here in BEVR territory. She's already sizing up the Bunkhouse, and sez it will need to be big enough to accommodate all us Broads. Exactly how big that bunkhouse needs to be defies modern science, and may jest be the true measure of a certain man.

Carol in NC is a hard working painter. She'll be giving the fences a good white wash. We sort of snuck her in 'cause of her obvious devotion to a certain NC Crooner, saying she wants him to sing her to sleep at night with his sweet songs of love. She cain't get enough of his voice, and we thought she'd fit in with the rest of the Broads and Wild BEVRs who cain't get enough of everything about him.

MotorCityGal nearly missed the Job Fair, but at the last minute was hired as all around BEVR. She'll count pages, and do most anything.

This additional staff will assist The Double-O in our current expansion. Marketing Guru, RainJane is developing a corporate logo, and is planning the Sexy Beast Concert Tour. At last, the long awaited solo concert tour for InvisiStud, featuring the advertising motto 'not a dry seat in the house.' RJ is also putting together a Ranch brochure, and the centerpiece will be package tours. We are all so confident in the fine attractions of The Ranch, that we will guarantee 100% satisfaction, and repeat business. We do so like the business to go on, and on, and on.

To help our guests luxuriate in celebrity treatment on the package tour, our multi-talented Cella will be managing our new Earth Wind and Fire Mountain Retreat Spa. The Spa will feature thermal suites (but, we�ll call them stables), where our guests can relax and unwind in a peaceful aromatherapy-enhanced setting. We'll feature the fragrance of SugarPants candles, as well as Horse, Hay and Fresh Mountain Air. Lisa, our heat specialist, will take charge of monitoring the hot, heavy steam stable, as well as the stable with the warm, dry heat. Deep cleansing will be available in the showers featuring many different spritzes - ranging from 'Rainy Meadow,' to 'River Waterfall,' on through to 'OMG OMG OMG What is that Move?'

We expect one of the most popular features of the Spa will be the Clay Treatment Stable. This will be a specialized couple's treatment, where guests will be locked into a private mosaic-lined thermal Xanadu. The room will be equipped with Myrtle Beach sea salt body scrubs, and, here's where the Clay comes in, with a variety of Clay treatments, to be rubbed all over one's body. Next stop is a steam chamber for relaxation (or vigorous exercise, your choice) followed by a very thorough rinsing.

We believe we might need to provide ice packs and cold drinks jest fer potential guests who read this here brochure.

-

Special appreciation to all the contributors to the LBFCA Ranch Series, including:

Sandi for her song; Marie for the Ranch photos; Cindy and Katynka for the awesome Ranch Gate; our pardners from PRoC, from whom we rustled the to-die-for pic of (oops, Nelle will fill y'all in on that pic after it appears); an unknown Broad at TTC for the bucking Clay; Katynka for her hot hot branding graphics and animation magic; Ruth and Debra for the Stud-Thud Muffin recipe; as well as every Broad and Brude named in the series, who each contributed their own lecherous job description.

Most especially, Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken expresses appreciation to Mr. Clay Aiken, Our Idol Always and Forever, for every way that he inspires our lechery and devotion on a daily basis, for those times when he knows what he's doing to us, and for those times when he just doesn't get it himself.

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