2003-07-29
6:54 a.m.

BEVR: Melissa/DC

Broad's Eye View Report: Melissa/DC

All right, I'm going to start off this BEVR with a confession: I went to the first season AI tour. Yes, I paid money to see A.J. Gill and EJay Day in concert, but listen, I'm not proud of that, so withhold your judgments. What's amazing to me, and the point of this whole paragraph, is the difference that the first season and the second season tours held for me. My roommate Charlie and I could not resist the cheesiness, the campiness and the unrestrained snark potential of the first season. When AI2 premiered, we plopped on the couch fully intending to feel the same way. Then came the Atlanta auditions and 5 and a half months later I wind up in the MCI Center screaming myself hoarse and teetering on the edge of sanity.

But details, I hear you say - give us concert details!

We found our seats just in time and luckily wound up being surrounded by rows of screaming, dancing, hyper Clay fans. Really, it was a good thing. The concert started off exactly the same as the first season's, right down to the Pop-Tarts commercials and Randy Jackson video greeting. Charles Grigsby was first. I could barely hear his vocals over the music, but he was adorable, so I gave him a pass. Julia was next - she sounded wonderful, looked beautiful, and Butterblume stroked her thigh. Moving on. Rickey - I've always liked Rickey, and he was a lot of fun in the show tonight. He got a good response from the crowd and just seemed to be having a great time. KimberMe - oh my. First of all, the girl's gutchies were on the JumboTron about 50 times, and she should sue whoever the show's art director is. Her background looked like a video of an operation. It was hideous. Her vocals were as I remembered them. Still, Roommate Charlie was wild about her. He thinks she's fabulous. Yeah, I don't understand it either, but welcome to my life. Next up we had Carmen. I didn't hear any vibrato but she still had that oddly mechanical voice thing going on. There was a guy in my row who kept screaming and taking pictures of Carmen every time she was even moderately in view. He was way too old to be doing this without looking creepy. Trenyce - I thought she sounded great every time she sang. I would never have the energy to sing Proud Mary because man is that a manic song. Kim Locke - Her voice is incredible. Seriously. Good things need to happen for this girl because she is incredibly talented. Hearing her sing tonight made me really feel like she got shafted (minds out of the gutter, dirty birds) by not being in the final two. Ruben - his voice sounded great, and Miss Emily was there tonight, so he was adorable up on stage, introducing his Mom and just in general having a good time. He seemed a lot looser than I expected him to be.

But basically, the first notes of TITN made it seem like there was no one else in the show, or in the whole arena for that matter. It's so incredible, hearing those notes, seeing that cloud of smoke, and then there he is - Sex on a Stick and his big purple shout-out (I meant his tie of course), breathing the same air as me and looking so. damn. hot. At this point all my Appropriate Concert Behavior practice went out the window and I went bananas. If I'm being honest, I can barely remember details of the song but I know he looked incredible, and from what I could hear over the screaming (from myself and everyone else in the arena, it seems) he sounded incredible too. All the notes that needed to be held were held perfectly, his voice was clear and just perfect. Crowd-bantering wise, he seemed a little low-key tonight, which was totally expected seeing as his schedule had him in Philly last night, New York this morning and DC tonight. I can barely keep up with my "commuting 30 minutes to work an 8 hour day that largely consists of sitting on the internet" schedule, so I'm not complaining about him having a low-key night. I truly have no idea where he gets his energy. After intermission came the White Leather. I don't even know where to begin. Although I hated the juxtaposition of "The Lady Is A Tramp" with "Bootylicious" I absolutely could not keep my eyes off of Butterstud. He just rivets your attention to him, no matter what's going on. He and Ruben used the name Kelly in "The Girl Is Mine," which I of course took as a shout-out to our Kelly. There were a few group numbers following that, all of which he sounded beautiful and looked sexy as hell in (including the BeeGees medley and Can You Feel the Love Tonight which he...aherm...nailed). Miraculously, the white-hot rage of jealousy has spared me from remembering the Carmen/Clay grind in one of those aforementioned group numbers. Now it all gets jumbled in my brain so I'm skipping ahead to Invisible. Oh My God x 4. For whatever reason, all the people in front of me sat through the entire song. They had not sat down once during the entire show, but when they heard the first note of Invisible, they all immediately sat down. This gave me a completely clear view for the first time all night, and I'd like to take a moment to thank all those nameless, faceless people who did me the best favor anyone's ever done me. His voice sounded clear as a bell - it was amazing to hear the song live and not on a bootleg recording like I've been doing. The song lyrics do sort of give me the heebie jeebies, but tonight, I'm not going to lie, I barely noticed the lyrics. All I noticed was the strategically tucked Caps jersey, and the bending and clutching and the little smiles on his face after every clutch - he so knows what he is doing, and what it does to us. And for that, I thank him.

Actually, I have a lot more to thank him for - for getting my "creative juices" flowing again, for introducing me to the Broads, and for just being the...ahem...total package that he is. I never imagined that the second season of American Idol would leave me in the state I'm in, but I'm happier for it.

Melissa

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Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report of Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."