Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-07-29
10:36 p.m.

SOC: Tony waves his WAND/DC

Summary Of Clay: Tony waves his Washington Aiken Night Details/DC

I didn't intend to go because the nosebleed seats in the back were the only tickets available. I'd checked periodically because I'd heard that tickets often become available at the last minute. Over the weekend, seats in a 200 level section became available, but I didn't buy them immediately. I tried again a few hours later, intending to buy the 200 level seats, but nosebleed seats in the back were once again the only option.

Monday morning started with no ticket to the show. At 11:30 I decided I'd check one last time. I sat slack-jawed when the results showed a single ticket available in the last row of section 2. No thought necessary, I was going to be on the floor!

I frantically posted a message for any DC Broads to e-mail me with details of the LBFCA pre-show meeting. I was going to see Clay by myself, but that didn't mean I couldn't meet some cool people before the show.

Melissa and Kathleen both responded that they were meeting at Fodo's, a cool Irish bar by MCI Center. There would be a group from PRoC, as well. I had no idea who these people were because I only read PRoC links if they're posted in our guestbook. If nothing else, it would be an adventure.

I showed up at Fodo's at 5:30 and waited in the bar. A few people walked by, but no one recognized me. I'd told Melissa how to recognize me (tall red-head with red chucks), so I figured she'd spot me waiting. I didn't know that she'd been delayed because of the wonderful Beltway. DC rush hour is bad.

After 10 minutes, I finally decided to check if they were in the restaurant. I walked in and saw a sea of people acting crazy, wearing PRoC shirts. I'd found the right place, but where was Melissa? She hadn't arrived yet, but Kathleen was there. As I looked around, she gave me a quizzical look and asked if I was Tony. Am I that obvious?

We chatted and had a good time. We were both looking for Melissa. Another 15 minutes passed as I continued to scan the room. I see a woman walking through the crowd and what do I see? An LBFCA t-shirt! The show is 90 minutes away and now I'm with my people. Life is great.

Melissa brought Charlie and Jen with her. Charlie claimed that he was dragged to the show, but I have my doubts. I think he shares the Clay love. Not the lust, Broads, that is very clearly Melissa's role for the night. She represented the Broads so well.

Dinner summary is easy: Guinness ice cream, shouting, a Clay quiz that we know we won, the PRoC woman in charge of the festivities (the school teacher), the red shoe contest, free gifts, and grape flavored clay.

You had to be there.

We left for the arena shortly after 7pm, wanting to get to the show before it started. It was raining, but only a little. When we got to the gate, the plan was to stuff everything in Jen's purse and pray that Melissa's Print-on-Demand tickets were real. They were and we were in.

Melissa waited in line to buy a poster. I must point out that Melissa, Jen, and Charlie were wearing their wonderful Clay head bands. While Melissa continued to wait in line, people walked by us, looked at Jen and Charlie and said "We should've done that," or, "Look,they're for Clay." We can no longer see Melissa in the crowd at the souvenir stand, but her Clay head band is shining through. Definitely fine work on Jen's part to create them. And kudos to Charlie for wearing his the entire time, especially since he had the pink head band.

By now you're thinking, "Tony, when are we going to get to the Clay?!?" I'm getting there, but not yet.

We all have great seats. Melissa, Jen and Charlie are in section 6, also on the floor. I lose them when I go to my seat, but spot the Clay head bands quite easily. I'm not too far from them. Did I mention I was in section 2. This is very important for later. Remember this.

We timed it well, since we only had to wait about 10 minutes before the show started. It started nearly on time, which seemed like an accomplishment.

I don't need to, but I want to go over each performer in order.

("Tony, when are we getting to Clay?!" Well, wait for it.)

Charlie - Dances well, but I had no idea what he was singing. The music drowns him out

Julia - Acceptable version of Beautiful; better stage presence than AI, but can improve

Rickey - I enjoyed Rickey. I liked him on the show and his voice is good. Good crowd interaction. The energy ran out, but that's more a format problem than a Rickey problem.

Kim C. - skanky-ho outfit, 6 tons of makeup, camera man below the stage got a show, I'm sure; I had no idea what she was singing, since the music was too loud again. For the best. Charlie (Melissa's roommate) was there to see her, but I'll take Julia over Kim C. every time.

Carmen - She sang Up!, which I hated when Shania sang it; not much hope for Carmen's version - she didn't yodel (I don't think...again, music is too loud), so it was manageable.

Trenyce - I like her MUCH better when I close my eyes. She has a great voice, but she still taps the microphone with her fingers, which is distracting. At times, it felt like her paste-on personality was back, as though she belongs on the American Idol Pep Squad.

Kim L. - She sang a good rendition of "Band of Gold." She has presence and the crowd is on her side.

Some guy was next, but I'll get back to him.

Ruben - He has much better stage presence than his AI performances and post-AI interviews implied. He seems comfortable on stage and interacts well with the crowd.

Intermission arrives, so Melissa finds me. We chat. We're happy and excited.

We're back. It's Cheesy Group Numbers, which scares me. These turn out to be entertaining and fun. There's more energy than the first half and the stronger singers help carry the weaker singers. I have no chance of remembering what everyone sang, so highlights include the duet with Rickey and Julia and K.Lo singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Both received deserved standing ovations.

(I promise, we're almost there.)

Miss Emily was in the crowd. Clay asked if she would be his mom for the night since Miss Faye wasn't there. He told Ruben that Miss Faye would be his mom at the Raleigh show.

(See, I told you I'd mention him.)

Finally, every time they shot the flames in the air on the stage, I felt a huge heat wave sweep through. This is quite unnerving. How hot is it on stage?

Did I forget anything? No, I think that sums it up.

Oh, alright, since you asked about a billion times, I'll briefly mention THE ENTIRE REASON FOR BEING THERE.

Kim Locke sings "Band of Gold," then introduces the next performer. Ooooh, who could it be?

Clay rises from the floor of the stage. Black suit, purple tie. The tension builds. The crowd is screaming. I'm getting chills. Clay glides around the stage, sweeping gestures to the crowd, drawing everyone further into his world. We become the clay and he is the sculptor.

I've heard "knee bend, knee bend, knee bend." That is not what it is. He thrusts himself to within an inch of the floor, then springs back up. It is effortless and effective.

His voice is audible. He nails it.

After the song is over, as he's about to introduce Ruben, he nearly steps off the front of the stage.

Next up is "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." (I'm not following exact chronology, but there's a method to my madness.) I must admit that I hate this song. I hated when Elton John released it, and I still hate it. It's a bad song. Clay's voice was good on it, but the song is too bad to make it enjoyable. This is equivalent to Clay singing the words of a legal document. I'd listen because his voice is phenomenal, but there's no lasting value in it.

He sings the various group numbers, proving that he is the star of the show. He shines on the Dirty Dancing song. (I could put the title, but you like thinking about Dirty Dancing more, I think.)

Clay introduces Ruben again. It is clear his voice is done. He's hoarse, though his singing never faltered. He needs to rest his voice, since we need more than one album.

"Hey, Tony, didn't you say it was important to remember that you were in section 2?" You thought I'd forgotten?

During TITN, people in the front floor sections walked to the stage for pictures. The light bulb went off. Hmm, what if I did that? So, I did.

During the witty banter before "The Girl Is Mine," the woman next to me told me to go then because the lighting was good. She was right and I owe her a debt of gratitude.

I walked up to the front as though I owned the building. I was on a mission. As I approached, Clay moved to my side of the stage. It was perfect. I snapped the picture.

What do you think?

I put my camera down. The exact thought that raced through my brain was "Oh. Oh My God." I was surprised. From 20 feet away, he's luminous. It could be the lighting, but I don't think so. I'm rarely awestruck, but I was at that moment.

Whew.

Then came "Invisible." I knew I was heading to the stage again. I snapped two pictures this time, including this one:

After being chased away by security (I was loitering), I went back to my seat. I don't remember the first half of "Invisible," but I made it back in time for the jersey clutch. He grabbed his jersey and ripped it to the right. This was the DC Clutch. The crowd went crazy every time.

After the concert, I waited out the crowd with Melissa, Kathleen, Jen, and Charlie. We all enjoyed the show. I was glad I'd gone to the show, glad I'd met Melissa, Jen, and Charlie, and glad the whole evening had been such a blast. I can't wait to see Clay perform again.

I didn't think I would be to such a great extent but I was entertained.

Tony

-

Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin', white-leather-wearin', DTTR revealin', mic-flickin', thigh-strokin', eye-f***in', smokin', jokin', singin', hunk-o-burnin' libido."

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