2003-08-08
2:17 p.m.

BEVR: Kaye/Richmond

When tickets went on sale for the AI tour, I was living in Greensboro NC and wanted to go to the Raleigh concert, but knew I would be living in Richmond VA when concert time rolled around. Being the practical person that I am, I opted for Richmond, since I suspected there would be many RL commitments to fulfill and I was right. There are boxes and boxes still to be unpacked, since we only moved here a week ago. Not that I'm complaining, because Richmond is home to me and I'm glad to be back.

My husband was supposed to go with me, but he informed me the day before the concert that he had to be in Greensboro and could not attend. Oh, I was so disappointed...NOT! I didn't want to go with him anyway. I wasn't up for an evening of eye-rolling and sideways glances. So, I asked my best friend of 26 years to go with me. She is a total AI/Clay Aiken virgin, so I thought it would be interesting to see the concert through her eyes. Alas, she had previous commitments at her pottery studio, so then my son's girlfriend, another relative AI/Clay virgin, said she would go with me. Unfortunately, she sometimes works for her sister's daycare in Greensboro and it so happened that they were going to Grandfather Mountain that day on a field trip, which would have entailed a five or six hour drive on her part, so I told her that was above and beyond the call of duty and thanks anyway. I had always planned to meet an online friend and go with her and her husband, so that's what I ended up doing. It was great to meet her in person and connect a face with a name.

While waiting outside the Coliseum, we saw many Clay fans and four Raleigh news vans. I think every TV station in Raleigh must have sent a news crew up to Richmond to interview Clay before his homecoming the next day. You could feel the excitement, and the humidity, in the air. I swear, Richmond is the only place I've ever been where my glasses fog up when I leave air conditioning to go outside. Once inside, we found our floor seats--not front row, but only about thirty rows back, so we were still pretty close--and were treated to inexplicable music montages and feminine hygiene and PopTarts commercials. No one paid much attention until the AI montage came up on the big screens and, then, as everywhere else, there were cheers and screams when Clay's face appeared. I won't bother to go into everyone's performances, as I know we Broads only want to hear about our Buttercup. I could barely hear Kim Locke's introduction because the predominantly Clay crowd knew what was coming next and was going crazy. Now, I've read all the BEVRs and many other concert reviews as well, but nothing fully prepared me for the sheer force that is Clay Aiken. When he emerged from the floor shrouded in fog to sing TITN, I was afraid my heart would stop and I doubt I was alone. The noise was deafening. Breathtakingly, beautifully, flawless is Clay. Has there ever been a man who looked so sexy and gorgeous in a black suit? And he must have some strong knees! The knee bends and crouches, oh my! And the Voice! After the applause and screams died down, he spoke about how nice it was to be back in the South after so much time up North--not meaning that he didn't like it up there, but we Southerners are a breed apart, and so different, still, from the rest of the country; then he introduced Ruben, who said, "I came down to the lobby for breakfast this morning and was so glad to see grits on the menu...That must be some kind of child abuse to not feed your kids grits for breakfast."

After intermission, Clay and Ruben were talking and, all of a sudden, a torrent of panties, stuffed animals, and even a very large, pink, lacy bra hit the stage. Had to have been at least a 40DD. Clay said, "Ope, there's the panties!" as Ruben shook his head and told us it was a family-based show and that he had to lecture us every time while Clay picked up the bra and waved it in the air at Ruben, gape-mouthed and laughing. Ruben said a lot of the things thrown on stage were donated to childrens' hospitals, but that they didn't think the children could use the underwear. Clay said "I don't think any of the kids could wear that one." Then Ruben said, "Can't do anything with that at a childrens" hospital," and Clay said "But we appreciate it." As Ruben continued to speak, more panties were thrown and Clay told Ruben, "I'm just gonna clean up the panties while you talk, Ruben." Then he ran around the stage picking up panties and taking them over to a pile at stage right. He was so funny. A sense of humor is one of the sexiest things a man can possess, IMO. During TGIM, Clay ran over and put on a big, green, foam Hulk fist and proceeded to pummel Ruben with it. When Ruben turned it back on him, Clay told him not to mess up the hair. The crowd loved it!

While Kim C, Trenyce, and Clay were on stage to do the Ruben 205 chant, a chocolate bar, a Krispie Kreme donut in a bag, and a box of Kraft Mac 'n Cheese were thrown up there. Clay willingly gave up the chocolate because he said he said he couldn't eat it. Kim C grabbed the donut and Clay had the mac 'n cheese, which he traded her for the donut. He then stood on the stage and ate it, telling her to talk 'cause he was eating.

Later, he told us he got the better end of the deal because she had nowhere to cook the mac 'n cheese. Am I correct in thinking that was the first really live, public eating event? I mean, we've seen his mouth do a lot of things, but I don't think we've ever seen that. He's even adorably sexy while stuffing his face. Then there was Invisible. What can I say? It's even better live than on your computer screen. Raw, unabashedly sexy-'cause-we-want-him-to-be Clay. I'm still not sure he's completely comfortable with the overtly sexy act, but I know he aims to please and he does it for us because he knows we love it and that we love him, and it only makes us love him more. And definitely DTTR in Richmond, especially in the white outfit, but in the jeans also. I think Little (Big) Clayton gets a kick out of our reactions. What normal, red-blooded 24-year-old man wouldn't, knowing that he has thousands of women screaming and wanting to jump up onstage and perform nameless acts on him? I'd worry about him if he didn't.

My impressions:

Charles--Energetic and entertaining. Just happy to be there.

Rickey--Adorable and very talented. Has good rapport with the audience and did "Hercules! Hercules!" Deserves to get a contract, if he hasn't already

Julia--Lovely voice and presence, seemed more comfortable than on the show, but I think she still has a problem with stage fright. I hope this goes away, because she does have talent.

Kim C.--Beautiful and knows how to work a crowd. Sounded better than on AI, but still needs some voice training, if she wishes to pursue a singing career. Could go far with her charisma.

Carmen--introduced as "the baby of the group." That, Broads, is no baby. That is about the horniest female I have ever seen. She either needs to get married soon (don't they marry early in Utah?) and keep her hands off our ButterBlume or give it up either to some blond, clean-cut homeboy closer to her age or some pouting, lanky-haired, black-leather-wearin' punk closer to her age and keep her hands off our ButterBlume. I vote for the latter. She'd have more fun. At any rate, keep your hands off our man, bee-otch. Still, cute and perky, even though she now sounds like a toned-down goat to me...But maybe I'm just jealous.

Trenyce--Got the look, the voice, the stage presence. I really liked her. She's on her way. Good sense of style.

Kim L--Pure class. Beautiful and what a voice! Smooth...Like Buttah! Looks better in dressier clothing. Lose the newsboy hats! Not flattering at all.

Ruben--I liked Ruben a lot more than I thought I would, given my resentments and his recent bad choices, re 205 Flava and R Kelly. He seemed loose and relaxed on stage. And what man couldn't win my heart if he comes out in a University of Virginia #50 Ralph Sampson basketball jersey? Wahoo! Wah!Ruben! And I even liked his new song. Am I the only one?

And MacDaddyKreme--What can I say that hasn't already been said much better than I can say it? Mesmerizing and hypnotic? I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. (I took a camera with me, but never took any pictures because I was afraid i might miss something.) He was born to be onstage. My son is an actor/singer and I felt a lot of the same feelings I feel when I watch him onstage, but not...THAT! Our darlin' is a natural-born star and needs to be on his own. The sooner, the better. When his solo tour happens, tentatively scheduled for March 2004, if rumors can be trusted, you can rest assured that I will follow him to the ends of the earth, and I'll fly--not drive--to see him. Anywhere, everywhere I physically can, I'll be there. I imagine I'll meet many of you there too.

Kaye -

Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin', white-leather-wearin', DTTR revealin', mic-flickin', thigh-strokin', eye-f***in', smokin', jokin', singin', hunk-o-burnin' libido."