Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-10-09
7:55 a.m.

The Imperfections of Clayton Aiken, and Why We Love Him Still

The Imperfections of Clayton Aiken, and Why We Love Him Still

In an interview at billboard.com, Clay was asked about the good side and the bad side of having such devoted fans, and is quoted as saying:

"There's definitely a bigger good side. The bad side is I feel like I have to be perfect all the time and I'm not."

Clay, breathe for us honey! We Know You're Not Perfect!

We don't need you to be perfect. We wish we could convince you, that it is your everyday human imperfections that are part of your incredible allure. We might not even feel the same way about you if we thought you were perfect.

Clay, we are your devoted fans, we've got your back. On days when you show us you are not perfect WE WILL CARRY YOU. We're going to love and appreciate you, no matter what.


Now, the LBFCA MP Broads are going to risk offending Clay, by pointing out a few times when he has fallen short of perfection, and how we love him still.

(Clay: Please don't get your basketball shorts in a twist over this Main Page! This is meant to encourage you to feel less pressure from your fans, and is an effort to prove our acceptance of you to you, not to criticize).


Fashion Blunders:

Not surprisingly, there was a time when Lecherous Broads would bemoan the fact that Clay doesn't go around dressed in clothes like this all the time:

So, every day we could look closely at this:

...and this:


But, truth to tell, this layered t-shirt look is starting to trigger our lecherous pleasure receptor centers:

Yummy!


We've been known to argue amongst ourselves about all of Clay's stripey shirts. There are still a few detractors, but, a recent poll on the Purple Pages indicates overwhelming support for them now. Apparently, Clay has won over more than a few Broads on the stripey shirt question, just by wearing them over and over and over. Some scolded Clay for wearing thongs (on his feet, Broads ;-) to the Sacramento high school and the Bubel Aiken LWLHD presentation. Others were puddles of goo just getting a chance to see those tootsie toes again.

But, we are in agreement, Clay has made fashion blunders:

These pants are tooooooo looooooong:

This layered look is just all kinds of wrong:


Interview Error:

Clay is usually amazingly quick and well-spoken during interviews, but, he has been known to falter. On the Half Way Home Show, when Ryan asked about all the attention from fans, and Clay initially used the word 'frightening,' followed by obvious blushing and some fancy verbal footwork. It appeared that Clay realized he had potentially insulted some of his fans, and he floundered a moment to correct himself. He clearly thought he'd messed up. Having later been the recipients of the 'frightening' label, we might be especially sensitive to this incident. But, when he used the word 'frightening' in reference to LBFCA, we just didn't take it seriously. Try as he might, the man just cannot insult us.


Singing Errors:

Now, we all know there have been more than a few instances of messed up song lyrics, and/or the timing of a word or phrase. Yes, we heard these imperfections, and they didn't dampen our ardor one tiny bit.

On Motown Night: In "Can't Help Myself," the mistaken lyric we heard was "Girl you call your name." Then, at the end when trying to time a head turn with the end of the song - it was 2 beats off.

On Billy Joel Night: "You doh I don't," instead of "you know I don't," at the beginning of "Tell Her About It."

We are not talking about the Vincident. That was a special case of unfair circumstances.

During "Unchained Melody," there was that touch of froggy throat on a low note.

On the Absent Regis and Kelly show, there was the beginning of a flubbed line in "Bridge Over Troubled Water."

On Nickelodeon's Let's Play, during the 3rd time singing the chorus...it sounds like a new word was created: "when the stars go blind, and the farkness starts to flood your mind." (Well, we want to be in the farkness with Clay, or, on the farkness of Clay, whatever it is).


Daily habits:

We all remember Clay's former roommate (any friend of Clayton's is a friend of LBFCA), speaking from the Raleigh fan gathering on the night of the finale, basically revealing that Clay is kind of a slob around the house.

Then, he showed up in an interview with Katie Couric, and put his feet on the furniture:

See, some of us sit like that too, but, we haven't said we felt like we had to be perfect.


Chews with his mouth open:

On more than one occasion, we saw video, or were eyewitnesses to this, after Krispy Kremes were tossed on stage during the concert tour:


Physical Imperfections:

We watch him whenever he's on our tv's, we traveled to see him in person, and conducted exhaustive research of photos and videos for evidence of Clayton's physical imperfections. We believe we covered all visible territory. While there remain unexamined physical attributes (and many volunteers to complete the examination of those attributes), we are confident in exclaiming this is the single physical imperfection on the being of Clay Aiken:

See, right there, that crooked lower tooth.
(Not surprisingly, it is this single physical imperfection that Erin swoons over).


We conclude, Clay Aiken's most significant imperfection is that there is not one of him for every one of his Lecherous Broads, waiting like this:

...for our big date


.....then, looking at us like this:

....after we get back home.


There you have it, the truth is we find so many of these so-called imperfections of Clay's just incredibly endearingly attractive. But, as Poet Laureate Sandi points out: they say it is the little things you love about someone in the beginning of a relationship, that start to annoy you after a number of years.

So, we at LBFCA want to put this relationship to the test of time, and invite Clayton to move on into The Ranch, prop his feet up on the furniture, drop his undershirts wherever he feels like it, spill KK crumbs all over himself (and we can...oh, nevermind, best leave some things for the Purple Pages), and we'll wait.

We figure the test period should last for the next 30 to 50 years. What the Broads won't do for research purposes.

Clay, if you feel like it, while you're with us on The Ranch you could sing for us:


(oh, and, um, Clay, we want you to bring your mic stand with you to The Ranch, you know, the one from TIME Magazine, .....we're thinking of giving it it's own turn during Twister).

Erin
Julie
Katynka
Kelly
Lisa
Marie
Melissa
Nelle
Robin
Sandi
Sherry
Wendy


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A very special post-script from Nelle:

As proud members of the United Clay Nations, LBFCA is pleased to congratulate the People's Republic Of Clay (PROC), our sisters and brothers in ClayLove, on their ingenious creation and successful implementation of Operation Vanilla for a Change.

Further, congratulations to PROC for receiving their incredible email Response from Clay .

(PROC: We love you, but, you almost turned our Purple Pages green).

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