2004-01-27
6:58 a.m.

All Clay Has

(to the tune of "All That Jazz"
lovingly rewritten by Julie)

C'mon Broads
Why don't we celebrate
All that Clay has

Let's drop down to our knees
And let's appreciate
All that Clay has

Start the bus
He's gonna start his tour
And he'll need the support
Of women more mature
He'll fill those noisy halls
With that sweet Southern drawl
And all...he...has!

Love that hair
And don't forget those shoes
And all Clay has

That new M.O.A.M.
Has made me blow a fuse
With all Clay has

Watch him now
He's gonna cut a rug
Give us some twisty feet
And give that shirt a tug
It makes us shake apart
And drool and clutch our hearts
For all...Clay...has.

Hoist that sign
Express eternal love
For what Clay has

The Broads around the world
Are working hand in glove
For what Clay has

Come on, babes
We gotta take our seats
Attach those purple tassels
To our drooping teats
'Cause Clayton's gotta know
That we just love him so
And all...he...has.

Ohhhhh...our Clayton's gonna eff us with his eyes
(And all he has)
Ohhhhh...then we'll reciprocate so he'll arise
(With all he has)
Hear the sound of panties droppin'
Ohhh, the floor could use some moppin'
Can't ignore
Broads hunger for
All...Clay...has!

C'mon Broads,
We've gotta focus now
On all Clay has!

There's just so much for us
To lech about...mee-yow
All that Clay has!

Take each part
And give it your respect
But keep your fav-or-ites
(and please save me the neck)
It isn't at all rude
Or even a bit crude, to want
All...Clay...has.

Never be his wife, but
Oh, I love my life
And all Clay has!

(mucho thanks to Cella for dragging me out when I wrote myself into a corner!)