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2004-02-20
11:23 p.m.
Possible Clay/Kelly Duets for the COMING Tour
Note: This does not mean that I believe that Clayton Aiken and Kelly Clarkson are any of the following: a couple; an item; a thang; or even friends. I just have too much time on my hands and therefore decided that it would be fun to contemplate the indications, ramifications and scenarios that would result from the following duets.
"You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore"
Pros:
Would provide us with Angsty!Clay! The lyrics,
"Now after lovin' me late at night
When it's good for you
And you're feelin' alright"
hold a particular interest, even if afterwards there's just talk of rolling over switching out the light.
It would be like Clay was breaking up with Kelly, which would leave him open to a rebound relationship. Perhaps he'd be so broken up about leaving one Kelly that he'd be interested in another�.
Cons:
Well, there's the obvious disadvantage of hearing Clay sing the above phrase to Kelly Clarkson.
"Islands in the Stream"
Pros:
Clay said he used to sing this song when he was little. The attachment to it might yield a passionate performance. Also, if he picks this song it may just show his affinity for women shaped like Dolly Parton, which many Broads, would�appreciate.
Cons:
Another song about water. The thought of being an island in the stream may become too much for him, causing him to break down and seek solace in the arms of the wrong Kelly.
"I Got You Babe"
Pros:
EVERYONE knows the words to this one; it would be the biggest sing-along in history. Seventies-themed song may require a seventies-themed wardrobe, which could either be fantastic, or not so much.
Cons:
The swaying may make everyone seasick. The wardrobe may be worse.
"The Theme to Green Acres"
Pros:
According to a recent TV Land ad, he suspiciously knows the words. Clay's Eva Gabor impression could be the best thing since his Ruben impression.
Cons:
We might see a pissy battle over who gets to wear the feather boa�wait�we like Pissy!Clay!
"Don't Go Breakin' My Heart"
Pros:
This song is really catchy and could also allow us to see Dancing!Clay! again. Also, the possible innuendo attached to "I gave you my key" is intriguing.
Cons:
Who would sing the high parts? Association with Elton John may yield further bad fashion choices.
-Text and Photomangling by Kelly
-Many thanks to Kat for some Photoshop advice and Danielle for being my beloved yes man.
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