2004-04-01
8:24 p.m.

By The Time You Get To Phoenix

For those of you Broads who are unfamiliar with my beautiful hometown, let me share! Phoenix, Arizona is a tiny town with about three million people. Alas, the sad news is that we are "Clay Virgins". Yes, you heard it right....although we've had Kelly, Cher, Shania, Britney, Cher, Bette, Rod, Britney, Justin, Cher, James Taylor, Britney...(well, you get the idea....) NO CLAY!

Being the enterprising souls that we are we could not let this travesty continue. But, what to do? What could possibly lure Clay to the desert? Well, all it took was a decent purple bra (uh, those are hard to find!) and a box of Stevie Nicks' frozen burritos (thanks Diana K!).

That Clay is such a gentleman...he took pity on us! Clay will be arriving on Friday, April 2nd....This one's for you, Clay......

By the time you get to Phoenix, we'll be screamin'
We built a brand new arena just for you....
You'll laugh when you see just how desperate we are...
We can't take Britney or Cher again...it's oh so true.....

By the time you hit San Jose, they'll be fainting....
The bras and panties will drown Kelly for sure
But, she'll just have to get used to it
The price of being on the CLAY AIKEN TOUR....

By the time you make it to LA, they'll be giggling...
Too much Clack will have done them right in
Please Clay...hold on to your clothes now
Try not to show them too much skin

We just didn't know
We would love you so!

PS... Thanks to Mr. Glen Campbell for the beautiful original of this song!

PPS....Clay, can you get a haircut by Friday? Thanks!

By STB

Posted by Nelle