Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-04-23
9:29 p.m.

BEVR: Nelle, Sheri in Seattle, Mare, Suzy P., Kim in CA & Lurker Anne, CA Elizabeth, and Other Kat / San Jose, April 6, 2004

Nelle's Sad Sad Tale....or, How I Know Clay Aiken Does Not Love Me *sob*

I have been in love with Clay Aiken since he sang Somewhere Out There on March 18, 2003. Sadly, on April 6, 2004, I learned the sad hard truth that my love is unrequited. *sob*

Oh, it's not all a sad story...there were some good things going on that day. We had a wonderful Broad gathering at Britannia Arms in San Jose before the concert. Suzy P. will tell you about the owner's antics. Our PRoC Clackhouse Sisters were there, too, and I had a chance to connect with some of my local pals.

Then, we walked to the venue, the HP Pavilion, just a few blocks away. I sold my last spare ticket to elizicord from CH, and it was a pleasure to meet her. Because I'd lingered outside, I went to my seat alone, and nearly died right there on the spot. It was right at the end of the catwalk. No, really, right there...ok, there was one seat in front of me, but the woman to my right had no seats in front of her...just a mere few feet of open space, then, the catwalk....OH MY GAWD. Clay was going to be standing there during ISY, and he'd be there reaching out during Invisible, and he'd stand there during OA with that beatific look on his face while Kelly sings her verse. The people behind me understood my shock and awe. One of them told me to represent for them.

I was going to stand at the end of the TigerWalk for ClayLive at my last concert of The Coming Tour, in my hometown, and I was going to reach out to him for the tease and climactic return during Invisible. I knew this at 6:45 pm. Even if he didn't pick me as the fan at the end of the catwalk to reach for, he just might wave his hand by mine. Besides, I was going to be right there.

I sat down and started calling Broads. Erin and Robin were not home. Wendy was not home but I left her a message. I talked to Lisa. I think I was hyperventilating. OH MY GAWD. Wendy wrote on the PPs that at the end of the message I said I loved her, and I loved everyone. I'm sure I did. I know I felt it. Sheri in Seattle arrived, and we hugged at our good fortune.

I was scurrying around during the Beu Sisters...on a little mission for Other Kat.

Kelly was great. I loved seeing her up close, and stood for all of her up-tempo songs. Sheri and I whispered to each other the first time Kelly walked out to the end of the catwalk...in a little over an hour, Clay would be right there! I still loved Beautiful Disaster, and still thought of Clay Aiken all the way through it.

After nearly barfing with excitement through intermission (really, I had the people in front of me worried for a minute there) Clay arrived. Security guy had to wave to me to get down from standing on my chair...I just waved back till Clay was past my row (not on our aisle). He was pretty close when he hopped up on the stage to sing before hitting the stairs, but the people in front with signs made seeing his glory very difficult. Then, Up. He. Went. The people to my right walked up to the end of the catwalk and I followed them, and waved Sheri in with me. (ok, at this venue there was a fence, and security guys standing inside it, but it was still just two arms lengths to the catwalk)

This show seemed to go by faster than any of my other three. I was simply mesmerized being up so close...and anticipating my reach out opportunity during Invisible. *sob* Has anyone yet described the stubble? OMG, the San Jose stubble was quite obvious, no shave line, stubbly neck too. *sigh* I spent a lot of time staring at that stubbly neck...Clay had a little pink blemish halfway down and just to the left on his neck. *sigh*

Disadvantage to being at the end of the catwalk is not being able to see Clay well when he was on the right side of the stage. I stood on my tiptoes for NMSS, while he was sitting on the stairs I could just see him from his shoulders up. But, this is not a complaint, just an observation....more than amply offset by the advantage of the stubble viewing when Clay was standing right there two arms lengths in front of me.

When Clay brought the microphone stand forward for ISY, I turned around and hugged Sheri, in joyful anticipation of what we were about to witness. We're dead, and pregnant. GAH. We could see the spit flying...Sheri even asked me if I'd felt any...I didn't, but we were certainly within range. I think Clay's SJ performance of ISY was more sultry and sensuous than at my previous 3 concerts. His arms and hand movements were less fierce, more languid, making the performance even more sexually compelling. Watch the video...when Clay holds that long note on "new beginnnninnnnnnng," his mouth lingers as it pulls out from beneath the microphone. I was right there and watched his lower lip gradually peel itself from the mic. (OK, maybe he does love me...)

When Clay brought the house lights on for his chat before WYSYLM, he was quite feisty...looking around, he commented on a sign in Spanish that he said he couldn't read, he asked about a sign about a canary (the canary wouldn't sing until the owner played Clay's CD), and teased that sign owner about the canary (whose name he even got, KiKi, *sigh* Clay Aiken is so loving, except to me, of course *sob*) maybe singing that it didn't like Clay's voice. Then, he talked to Rose, whose sign said she was 80 (or was it 90?) and Clay was like her Geritol. Clay joked about that meaning he made her regular. Oh geez, I'm so old that I know that Geritol is supposed to bring vim and vigor and is not a laxative. He went back briefly to the Spanish sign, apparently didn't get a response, and looked at someone on the side of the catwalk, noticed she had a cell phone and took it.

EEEEEEE!!!! I know her! It's cottonhead from CH, one of my local pals...she was so cute there with her daughter in their matching caps. Clay did the cell phone spiel, and then said he was going to sing a song to all of them, the cell phoner, Rose and KiKi. Then, in the middle of the song, he comes down to the end of the catwalk, and reaches for the hand of a stunned and adorable girl, looked to be about 14, sang a verse holding her hand, and kissed it before strolling away. She was three people away from me, and he was right there:

When Clay introduced Quiana for Without You, I gave out a big scream, because I do love their performance together and think Quiana does an awesome job. Clay mentioned Quiana seemed to have some fans of her own there, and his eyes might have darted my way for a split second, and I thought he might possibly have heard my scream (mine was not the only one, of course). But, probably not, because I later learned he does not love me. *sob* WY was stunning.

Invisible. At last. I was ready. I was up against that fence. I was reaching when he sang 'reach out.' He. Did. Not. Reach. Back. WTF? He sang the song through without the reaching move to the fans at the end of the catwalk...I guess the girl during WYSYLM got all the love for the fans at the end of the catwalk already. You Clack Historians will need to confirm my impression that Clay has been doing this reach-out-tease-and-climactic-return during Invisible for weeks and weeks, perhaps months and years, even. I don't remember if he did it for the first few concerts, but I cannot recall the last Invisible for which he did not do this.

Clay Aiken Does Not Love Me. *sob*

I have written many words of Lechery For Him. Many messages of Love For Him. Even Holiday Wishes. I have proclaimed the reasons we believe He Loves Us. I told him in person We Adore Him, and obtained his autograph proclaiming All His Love to Us. I have read how he said He Loves Us.

But, Clay Aiken does not love me. *sob*

The next day I decided I would throw myself over a cliff. We have some good cliffs just over an hour away from where I live...really, one is even called Devil's Slide. But, dang it if I didn't remember Sheri and Mare were going to Seattle and Spokane, and I love them, and I'm pretty sure they love me, and I wanted to hear how their concert experiences were. And, Gini had offered to cell cert me from St. Paul. And I love her, and I'm pretty sure she loves me, and I didn't want to miss that. And, Sandi might see Clay, at last, for the first time in August. And I love her, and I'm pretty sure she at least likes me (I hope!) and I sure want to hear how that turns out. So, even though he doesn't love me *sob* IT'S ALL CLAY AIKEN'S FAULT I couldn't throw myself over a cliff because of it.

Fortunately the lack of his loving me didn't sink in fully until the next day, so I was fully present to enjoy the rest of the concert. The acoustic set is still my favorite. Clay was more than playful during WINY, he had evolved his air triangle playing at the end of every verse to full air orchestra conducting. Very cute. Sheri was very observant about something different that was about to happen, so I'll leave that tale for her to tell. Clay surprised us, that's for sure.

The Way was gorgeous, and so was Open Arms. I got to see the beatific face real close. I was right there. It was good.

I love Clay Aiken. Even if he doesn't, you know. *sob*


Sheri in Seattle

My San Jose story was another working trip for me that came together a few days before the concert.

I had San Jose layovers every Tuesday in March, but wasn't able to get them for April. As I sat in my hotel room that last Tuesday in March and could see the HP Pavilion out my window, I knew I had to be there the following Tuesday. I justify these extra concerts to myself (and to Mr. Sheri) that at least I'm earning money at the same time and the hotel room is paid for! So I emailed the flight attendants who had the trip to see if they were interested in a trade. One said she would. It took a few days of working out the logistics as we had other overlapping trips. I ended up trading away a 24 hr. layover in Cancun AND a 24 hr. layover in Puerto Vallarta! I also had to pay the other flight attendant $150 (I didn't tell Mr. Sheri that part) for the monetary difference in our trips. Oh, what I do for Clay!

I emailed CA Elizabeth and Nelle to say I was coming and see about tickets. Nelle emailed back that she had an extra row 6 available! OMG! Row 6 with Nelle! It couldn't get any better. I called Mare to see if she wanted to join me again. She didn't hesitate. I set up Mare's flight pass and we were ready.

Mare was already waiting for me at the San Jose airport when my flight got in. We headed for the hotel and quickly got ready to see the Broads and Clay. We had a great time at the Britannia Arms meeting new Broads, Suzy P, Vixxey, Kim in CA, Lurker Anne, Other Kat, and her mom and of course seeing CA Elizabeth and Nelle again, whom we had met the week before in Vegas. Suzy P gave us adorable butterfly magnets. Thanks Suzy!

When I got to my seat at the HP Pavilion, Nelle was already there. I looked at her with wide eyes and screamed! I hugged her, told her I loved her and was indebted to her for the rest of my life . I had no idea we would be RIGHT THERE at the end of the catwalk!

Kelly's set was great. I really love her live show. It showcases her voice more than her CD. We were rockin' and dancin' and anticipating what was to come.

Clay finally arrived in all his glory. I couldn't believe I was standing at his feet and was looking right up his nostrils.


I loved watching him make his funny faces.


I took in his pink shoelaces and every inch of his body all the way up to the stubble and the impossibly long, ginger eyelashes. Unbelievably gorgeous. And totally surreal to be RIGHT THERE.

While Clay was chatting before WYSYLM, I held up my sign that said, "Clay, will you cell me? I *heart* you." I wanted him to take my cell and talk into my voicemail so I'd have his voice talking to me forever. But he didn't look down at his feet, he looked over our heads *sob*. During WYSYLM, he knelt down and took that young girls hand and looked at her with such love in his eyes. I looked at him with love in my eyes. It was captured in this photo. I am the tall one caught in a dream state.


Then he kissed her hand. All I could do was moan...and melt. I was also insanely jealous of that child...she could be pregnant.

During Invisible, I had it all planned out in my head that when Clay reached out I would grab his hand and never let go. *Sob* Well, you know the story. I did get this clutch, though:


During ISY, the golden glow of light illuminated the flying spit. Lots of flying spit. I thought maybe I could get pregnant that way. None landed on me.*Sob* But the emotion, flailing arms and EF's in that song were to die for! GAH!


During the acoustic set, specifically CIMM, I noticed Clay was discreetly trying to get Angela and Jacob's attention and he was ever so slightly pointing to Quiana. I said to Nelle, "He's got something up his sleeve." Sure enough he surprised Quiana by grabbing her for the bump and grind during WDC. The surprise on her face was priceless and Clay looked so proud of himself for pulling it off. Very cute and funny.

Once again, it was all over way too fast. Nelle, Other Kat and I group hugged and burst into tears. Even though I still had 2 more concerts to attend that week, I wasn't going to be RIGHT THERE again.

I must say how much I admired Nelle for truly taking in the whole experience. She stood there, basking in his presence, not taking a single picture, whereas I was taking pictures with 2 cameras and trying to cellcert Paula in St. Louis (until the security guard made me turn off my phone). In trying to capture this amazing experience, I didn't fully absorb it the way Nelle did.

Afterwards, we decided to be bus stalkers. We waited at the back gate, freezing for an hour. Jacob came out. We yelled out, "Hey, Dance Captain!" He waved and chatted with some of the fans for a bit. Very nice of him. Then a man came out walking a cute little Border Terrier. I said to him, "Is that Raleigh?" He just smiled and kept on walking the pup over to the park across the street. She was so much lighter in color so we were confused at first. But it was Raleigh! A little while later, 3 shiny, red and chrome equipment trucks pulled out. Then...the...bus. Clay and Kelly were standing in the front window, smiling and waving. They were scrubbed and natural. Kelly had on a bucket hat and Clay had on his jammy pants and a sweatshirt. Wow! All that shivering was worth it!

CA Elizabeth and Nelle drove Mare and me back to our hotel. We cried and said our goodbyes. Mare and I climbed into bed at 12:45 am. We got up at 4:30am. Ugh! I had to work...I would do anything for that man!


Mare

It started on Saturday, April 3 with a message on my answering machine. "Mare, it's Sheri. I did some incredible finagling with my schedule and I'm going to be in San Jose Tuesday. Can you come?" My heart jumped with excitement and sank at the same time. Could I take more time off work on short notice? And what would I tell people at work? I couldn't admit it would be my third concert and I still had two more after that! I was excited about seeing Clay again. But with Seattle and Spokane later that week, it wasn't my deciding factor. Seeing the Broads again and meeting new Broads was a temptation I could not resist. So I said yes and decided to work out those pesky details of taking time off, etc., later.

On Tuesday morning, Mr. Mare assured me for the umpteenth time I was doing the right thing. I wouldn't be on Sheri's flight this time. The poor woman had departed at 6:30 a.m. and would fly up and down the entire West Coast before finally arriving a half hour after me in San Jose. We quickly got from the airport to our hotel downtown to get changed for our mini-Broadfest and Clay.

This could be called the night I became a ticket whore. I had a row 20 seat from Nelle but hoped to do better. We had the cabbie stop at the venue on the way to the restaurant. I called CA Elizabeth on Saturday and promised her I'd get an upgrade for her as well. I impatiently waited for the people in front of me to make up their mind as to whether they were buying a ticket. I had a cab waiting and a restaurant to get to, didn't they understand? Little did I know it was Lurker Anne also looking to upgrade! We both ended up with tickets in the same section left of the stage.

On the way to the restaurant Sheri and I yakked away as usual and didn't notice it took the cabdriver an awfully long time to drive a few blocks. We looked up when he was about to enter the freeway and yelled, "We're going the wrong way!" As it turns out there are a number of Britannia Arms restaurants and he wasn't familiar with the one just a few blocks from the venue. (A similar thing happened to Sheri and me at the DC concert. We were heading back to our hotel on the subway at 2 a.m. when the subway stops seemed a little unfamiliar. I said to Sheri, "I don't remember passing Arlington Cemetery on the way to the concert? Do you?" Sheri: "No, we must not have noticed." So we kept talking until we reached the Pentagon and knew we had made a serious mistake! Apparently two Broads anticipating spending an hour with His Royal Hotness are just as preoccupied as two Broads still glowing in the aftermath.)

At the restaurant hugging and shrieking ensued with the broads we had met in Vegas (CA Elizabeth and Nelle). And the new broads were just as much fun: Suzy P., her lurker friend Vixxey, Kim in CA, Kelly, Lurker Anne, and the "Other" Kat and her mother. I sat next to CA Elizabeth during dinner who was absolutely giddy and made me giddy. Out of nowhere a CH'er appeared from the next table and offered up two 3rd row seats to CA Elizabeth and me. I believe my response was "Do you have to ask?" The broads officially confirmed I had the "ticket mojo" working for me that night. If I thought CA Elizabeth was giddy before, the prospect of 3rd row tickets turned it up a few notches prompting Suzy P. to deadpan, "Compared to you, I'm like a Kelly Clarkson fan." Can I just say Suzy P. and Vixxey are two very funny Broads.

The seats were great. We were hyperventilating in anticipation of seeing Clay that close. We were on the right side of the stage and I commented to CA Elizabeth it was too bad we were on the wrong side for WDC grindage. Wrong! That's the night Clay chose to sneak up on Quiana and that became one of my favorite concert memories. The look on his face as he sauntered up behind her when he knew she wasn't expecting him, and the look on her face when she turned around and he was up against her were priceless!

Clay was done way too soon and we were off to stalking the bus. It was quite chilly but fortunately I had the foresight to buy a purple scarf at Seatac airport earlier in the day, which has now been dubbed my "bus stalking scarf." It was so much fun hanging out with everybody in the concert afterglow and we did get to see a glimpse of Clay and Kelly as they drove off.

On the walk back to CA Elizabeth's van I commented that I thought it wouldn't be a big deal for Clay to have come out and just give each one of us a hug. Oh, and maybe a kiss. To which Nelle responded, "And a little tongue!" Leave it to Nelle to keep our priorities straight!

Sheri and I had four hours to try and get some sleep before our wake up call and our 6:30 a.m. flight home. While waiting for our flight the next morning, I put a CD of Clay's demo songs into my CD player thinking it would bring me comfort. Instead that beautiful pure voice made me cry and I had to turn it off. I doubt I'll ever know what it is about this man that has touched me so, but I thank him for it and for the wonderful world that is the Broads.


Suzy P.

Before the Concert

Let's just call the owner of the pub Mr. Brit. I've known Mr. Brit for many years. Too many. Waaaay too many. He's probably more lecherous than all of us balled up into one big Broad (for example, he likes to call himself "Uncle Buster Hymen"). At the same time, he's a judgmental S.O.B., not unlike a certain AI judge we all wish we didn't know. That night, though, he was perfect. He never accepts reservations, and he accepted one for LBFCA (for 14) and one for Clackhouse (must have been 25 of them). I had nothing to do with the reservation, so it wasn't as a favor to me. It was all CA Elizabeth's and Clay Aiken's fault. The broads and the CH'rs sat close together on the patio outside, swapping hugs and ticket upgrades, and toasting our Master. At one point, Mr. Brit came over with a life size photo of Clayton which read "Clay AKEN" at the bottom and with the eyes cut out taped to his face and exclaimed, "photo with Clay Aiken, $1!" Then he moves the photo down to his belly and says,"Clay Aiken t-shirts, $2!" Imagine this on a big British belly:

At one point, he dragged me inside the pub to show me that the place was packed with about 200 more Clay fans. Without warning he sticks the mask on my face and does his "photos with Clay" bit. The Britannia Arms is definitely Broad friendly.

After the Concert

A few days before the show I started thinking about a gift for Clay. I contacted the HP Pavilion to inquire on their procedures for accepting deliveries for the talent. They said they won't accept any deliveries since 9/11, even from FTD or Fed Ex. I've heard many stories of how gifts were given at the show, and wondered what would get a body guard's or security guard's attention (or Clay's, should the Gods decide to forgive me for past offenses). Finally, I decided it would be a gift for Raleigh - an ultra soft baby blanket from Pottery Barn Kids (Clay Green), and a guardian angel dog tag - and that I would try to give it to a guard or someone official-looking after the show by the buses. How could they resist that? I wrote a card to Raleigh (hey, don't think I didn't see that smirk) and a letter to Clay, including my address and cell phone number of course.


So there I was, a 36-year-old woman standing in the cold with a huge, stupid sign and a gift for a dog, waiting for a bus I couldn't even see over the walls of Fort Clelly.

Most of the SJ Broadfest broads showed up to see the buses leave (we missed you Other-Kat and Mama_Other_Kat). After about 30 minutes of nothing, Jacob comes through the gate to sign some autographs. Finally, my chance! I hoist the sign over my head and start jumping like an idiot. "Jacob! I have a gift for Raleigh! Please, Jacob, please!! I have a gift for Raleigh!" Oh, you should have seen the looks I got. Naturally, Jacob totally ignored me. He was probably a little afraid to make eye contact. The other Broads tried helping me out to no avail. Jacob did his mandatory 3 minutes of fan appreciation (or maybe he was just scoping the lovelies) in the cold and went back behind the gate. Things turned ugly at that point. I curse Jacob with a thousand ingrown hairs. Belly button baring Kelly fans started to mock me. I was feeling a little upset and a lot embarrassed. I mean, here I am, trying to give a gift to a DOG. A DOG! Did I mention that it's a DOG? They are right to mock me. I hid behind Vixxey, Nelle, Mare, Sheri in Seattle, and CA Elizabeth and stayed quiet for a while.

After some tender loving Broadly comforting, conversations pick up again. I look around at the other fans to see the reaction after Nelle told Sheri in Seattle that she's seen her BEVR and it's beautiful. Now I'm fully cheered up and ready for my next embarrassing moment. Lurker Ann crosses the street to join the rest of us. She had been across the street with Kim in CA, and her sister.

Another 20 minutes or so goes by and the gate opens again. Someone shouts, "it's Raleigh!" I look over, let out a bloodcurdling scream and hang my sign and gift over the barrier. I start shouting at this poor dog walker guy like I'm on fire and he's got the last drop of water on Earth on that leash. He looks at me nervously (Raleigh did, too) steps up his pace and continues on into the park, apparently so Cluppy can do her business. Dog walker guy was in the park for what seemed like forever. I thought, "what's keeping me from chasing him in there?" "Why hasn't anyone else run into the park to see Raleigh?" Then I remembered that broads are respectful of Clay's friends and family and well....c'mon now...it's a DOG! Not only that, it's a DOG doing WHO-KNOWS-WHAT in the park. What was I going to do, keep it as a souvenir? Sell it on E-Bay? Not likely. So I wait, big stupid sign and gift dangling over the barrier. I hung onto that barrier like it was the last floating piece of the Titanic. I wasn't about to miss this opportunity to give my gift to the recipient herself. Vixxey and Lurker Ann try to reassure me that dog walker guy will take it when he comes back. I wasn't so sure; Jacob has wounded my confidence.

Finally, dog walker guy and Cluppy emerge from the dark like a beacon of hope, and that beacon was shining on me. As they approach I chuck all embarrassment and humility aside and put on my best I'll-just-die-if-you-don't-do-this face and shamelessly begged dog walker guy to please, PAH-LEEEZE take my gift. It's just a blanket for Raleigh and after all, he had her right in front of me on a leash. How perfect is that? C'mon dude, it's not rocket science - TAKE IT! Then, to my absolute and utter disbelief, he TOOK IT and said that he would make sure to give it to "him." AAAHHHH! Broadly screams of excitement cut through the chilly night air. Car alarms were triggered (ok, not really). Hugs all around (yes, really). Hey, belly button baring Kelly fans, who's the fool now? Ok, I guess that would still be me, but I was the only one who got something over the walls of Fort Clelly. A gift from a Broad would once again be in Clay's hands. Not to mention my phone number. So what if I had to check my dignity in at the door to get it done?

You can kind of see the whole thing here: claymaniac.com

In the vid, the guy with the orange jacket is blocking the whole begging and exchange from view, but you can see that when dog walker guy passes orange jacket guy he has a bright green something in his hands, and you can hear the Broadly screams of victory.

Oh, in case you're wondering, Clay hasn't called yet, but I'll kiss Kathy Griffen before I'll turn that cell phone off.


Kim in CA & Lurker Anne

BUYING TICKETS

Lurker Anne (my Mom) called and said "I have the code"! We could take part in the presale for tickets to see CLAY Live! The thrill of Clay, and the force (may it be with all of us) took us over. The browser was open and our fingers were flying all over the keys - I got 2nd row for Sac then lost them. Next try got 5th row floor and I was ready! Lurker Anne got Sec 128, row 23 for SJ! We were thrilled!!!! Time passed extremely slow... many days... many downloads later...

GETTING THERE

The morning of, we packed my kids into the car, dressed and ready for the 2.5-hour drive to visualize Clay again! We took my kids to a relative in San Carlos, and since we had time to kill before meeting my Aunt (Coastal "clayverted" Kelly) we monopolized the conversation and explained our love for Clay - why Clay is so special. Time passed very quickly. So quick that we were late to meet my Aunt! Clay does have that affect on us, doesn't he?? Even though we still have another hour drive to San Jose, we are extremely giddy!!

MORE TICKETS

Before we meet the Broads at the pub, we drove around the Shark tank/HP Pavilion looking for the tour bus, passing by the ticket counter Lurker Anne has us stop. You never know what might come up. Lurker Anne comes back with a sad face "They didn't have any floor tickets" BUT a smile explodes across her face - She had upgraded to first section near stage, 5th row, on side of WDC dancing! After seeing HIM so close in SAC (5th row floor, WDC side) - we had to get closer! Don't you know the saying, "Once you get close you can never go back!" Seeing the tickets the night before on a broker site for over 200 each, Lurker Anne's credit card just FLEW out of her purse - She had no control (Clay's fault!). Coastal Kelly and I were sitting in the car drinking "Gatorade" like in high school/college days getting revved for Clay and Broads! I had to scream, getting closer to the WDC grind! Lurker Anne was a bit out-of-breath so CK offered her some of the "Gatorade" and LA about choked - didn't realize that it was spiked!! Duh!

MINI BROADFEST

Kim in CA's first Broadfest - Lurker Anne's 2nd and Coastal Kelly just in awe of the enthusiasm her eyes got wider and wider as people were buying and swapping more tickets than they could possibly use! Meeting all the Broads in such a fun atmosphere was amazing! We met Nelle, the Keeper of the Keys of LBFCA, and CA Elizabeth, full of enthusiasm and one of the nicest people, Suzy P (who would crawl over broken glass with her hair on fire - great line), Sheri in Seattle, Mare, The Other Kat and their guests! We had a wonderful time, fun food and a crazy pub owner. We had many laughs!! Thank you Broads! I really cannot wait to go to another Broadfest and share the Clay love.

CONCERT

We meet up with Nonlurker Melanie who has loved Clay from audition day. We all scream, get drinks and head down to our great seats and then scream again!

Beu Sisters not bad, Kelly good (love her acoustic Beautiful Disaster and Miss Independent which gets us revved for Clay!) then it's intermission and I have to visit the restroom. I somehow hobble/pull myself up ALL those stairs...and I make it back! It's funny how a broken foot feels quite painless when you think you might miss Clay's opening song!

The lights go down, then the *roar* that makes your heart start to beat so fast and we hear HIM... We didn't tell Melanie how he comes down through the audience and she starts to scream - actually she screams a lot! Lurker Anne asked her not to scream so much and Melanie exclaimed, "But I'm only screaming through the pauses!" - and HE is walking down the aisle right at the bottom of our seats!! I look back and my Aunt is running down the steps with a large grin - she was on the potty and heard the screams - she couldn't pee fast enough (she said we could mention this except the part about peeing on her hand when she heard the roar!!!). But luckily she made it in time. I see people reaching over the railing and realize that I must not have any regrets in life - so I "run" down the steps to the railing, slightly "nudging" this kid out of the way I apologized after but really, it is Clay's fault reached over and... [Melanie moves out of the way when I leave thinking I'm faking my injury - My Mom runs after me, worried I might get arrested] as I reach over, adrenaline rushing, I touch him!!! The need to feel him, to make him real overcame me. It went so fast but I was pumped. I didn't feel bad about violating his space not sure if I would if I really had violated him! But hey, it was only a tap on his shoulder but it was HIS shoulder!! [insert scream here] OMG!! [another scream] I was done. But happily HE kept singing and I really was looking forward to WDC on our side! BUT what is this... He goes to the OTHER side where our original tickets were (that we still had in hand) and grinded way over there!! We (my Mom) bought double tickets to be able to see HIM up close GRINDING. If I wasn't already high from touching him, that might have brought me down.

Have to agree with Nelle - this show went by way too fast. After seeing him in Sac, amazed at my reactions and how excited I really was, thought this time I'd sit back and slowly enjoy this one. But somehow Clay has this aura that permeates true excitement... I danced, screamed and looked around the audience and then it was over... what happened? This can't be my last one. This can't be the end of my Clay... after all the thrill, now this? What a roller coaster of emotions.

POST CONCERT

It wasn't hard to spot the girl clay sang to and then kissed her hand - in the lobby she approached us holding her hand out for everyone to see - Lurker Anne told us that the girl's facial expression had not changed since Clay had kissed her, which was at least an hour ago - there was a glow about her. I heard her exclaiming unbelievably "everyone keeps thanking me?!" She was really cute. Uh, sorry Nelle. It really should have been one of us. But after my actions earlier, I probably would have knocked over one of you! I apologize now in case it should ever happen. But as we know, IT IS ALL CLAY AIKEN'S FAULT.

After the concert we walked to where the tour buses leave - and stood across the street with many other fans - Lurker Anne suggested we stay across the street for the possible better view - Across the street, there are people screaming "Lurker Anne", hey it's the San Jose Broads! - My Mom runs across to the Broads planning on asking them to join us but gets caught up in getting Suzy Ps present ready for Raleigh, since someone is taking her for a walk right by them...and misses Clay - this time its all Raleigh's fault!

There's the bus, there's Clay in the window - a view I won't ever forget, totally surreal. Full face, full wave and HE waved at ME! Like a little double take [I was standing in the street - the security guard didn't make me move like everyone else - that darn crutch has finally come in handy] and I think I got a pity wave. Will take it anyway I can get it!! I got to see Clays face, my mother got to see Raleigh's!

Then Coastal Kelly (who was recently Clayverted, now Broadverted) wants to jump in the car and chase the bus! Lurker Anne says "What for, we know it's going to Washington." My Aunt insists and we speed off but unfortunately the giant semi can't make his turn in front of us, forcing us to go home. Do you think he knew what we were doing??? We drive to my Aunt's house... wishing and hoping for more Clay. And yes, it really is ALL CLAY AIKEN'S FAULT.


CA ELIZABETH

San Jose: The Best Time I Ever Saw Your Face

San Jose was the last of my three concerts and the culmination for me, because, because........ it was the best time I ever saw his face.....

Maybe it was because I had my best seats in San Jose, the closest to Our Perfect Boyfriend. And it probably helped that I had the privilege of sitting next to Mare, my new Broad friend from Seattle, with whom I could share keen appreciation of his face.

To help you understand, I must go back to the AI2 concert tour last August, where I saw Clay's face "live" for the first time. I had nosebleed seats and could hardly see him at all. Luckily, I had brought my opera glasses and could improve my view a bit. Although I didn't see his face all that well, I did at least see him live. The totality of Clay in live performance excited me beyond any previous expectations, and turned me into an obsessed fan, a Lecherous, Broad!

When the Coming Tour presale opened, I went into a frenzy of ticket buying, as any normal, red-blooded, Lecherous Broad would do. Little did I know that at each of the three concerts I would eventually chuck my originally purchased seats to "move up" and be closer to Clay!

My Las Vegas floor seat, at about row 15 (thanks to Nancy in the Peg) afforded me a divine view of his face during Kyrie, when he entered the auditorium through the crowd. He passed right by me! Immobilized in my gaze of love and amazement, I could not free myself to touch him, although I was close enough to do so. I simply looked up and up and up (isn't he so wonderfully tall?), transfixed by his flawless countenance, glowing radiantly in the spotlight. As he approached, his face coming closer and closer, I could see his shining brilliance in all its glory. I will never forget his utterly joyous smile.

My Sacramento seat was even better than Vegas - center floor, about 7 (?) rows back, where it was great fun to sit with Nelle and Susanne. This time, I could see Clay's face much more clearly, including his expressive eyes. I again used my trusty opera glasses, seeing his stubble for sure, and even, sometimes, the luscious working of muscles underneath tight and creamy skin!

But San Jose, oh, San Jose! This time, from the floor, row 3, no opera glasses were needed! I could see his face in its varied feelings, so expressive and clear. I could see shifts and transitions, slight moves and nuances. Whether he gave a gentle gaze, a confident look, or a haughty glare, I could see the feelings he chose to reveal - right there in front of me, close up in his face, which he used as a complement to his incredible Voice.

San Jose, San Jose! The concert where his feelings showed the most. In Las Vegas he was hot, in Sacramento he was switched on and connected, but in San Jose he emoted.


And how, dear Broads, can I ever describe the love, the tenderness, the roughness, the angst, the dynamism, the gentleness, the power, the languor, the sex, the dreaminess --- all the emotions --- that Clay Aiken gave us that night in San Jose? I can only mention the expressive eyes, the lavish lips, the witty eyebrows, the muscles beneath the pale manly skin, and then simply tell you that it is breathtaking to see them close up, live, as this masterful man uses them to give us love and music and to show us the best time ever.


No I cannot describe it! You must experience it! And, until you do, I must leave it to your imagination. But you must see him up close. You must experience the exquisite delicacies of "Feeling Clay" of San Jose.


Other Kat

There are experiences in life that cannot be fully appreciated vicariously. Meeting other broads is certainly one of them. We've all gotten to know each other through the wonderful Web and met because of HRH himself. I came into the Broad meeting with no expectations, thought that we would courteously exchange little Clay stories in very hushed tones, and remain restrained. What was I thinking? It's a meeting of the Broads, not a networking soiree!!!!

I decided to bring my Mom to the concert, rather than another friend who actually fell in love with Clayton before I did. Figured that she would be Clayverted before the night was over. (Teehee!)

Where does one continue? Here are the highlights:

  1. Meeting all the broads, shrieking, giggling, repeating the process

  2. Suzy P sharing those beautiful butterfly pins

  3. The owner of the restaurant printing a picture of Clay, poking the eyes out (disturbing), and going around the restaurant, posing for pictures with the Clay mask

  4. CA Elizabeth LICKING another Clay print-out. Priceless moment.

  5. Walking to the arena together, talking to Wendy in FL (Woman, you have the sexiest bedroom voice!)

  6. Mare giving my mom her extra ticket so that she could sit closer. All of the broads walking slowly so that my mom could catch up. (I heart my broads!)

  7. Realizing that the folks at the other table full of Clackhouse members were so much more subdued than we were.

  8. Great telephone conversation with Wendy (I grabbed CA Elizabeth's phone):

    Wendy: This is your first time?
    Other-Kat: YES! I'm a VIRGIN!
    Wendy: Enjoy every moment. Don't take pictures, don't give cellcerts.
    Other-Kat: Okay, you want me to just relax as I lose my virginity and let it...all sink in....

    (lecherous thoughts scrambled my thought waves at this moment. CA Elizabeth and I were giggling really hard, and I had to sit on the sidewalk for a second.)

But this one highlight deserves to be told as a story. I decided to give away my extra ticket in row 42 since Mare had given my mom a ticket. I handed an e-ticket to a stranger as we went up the escalator. As I rushed to go into the arena, I realized that I handed away MY ticket. My ROW FIVE ticket. All you lovelies out there must be thinking, big deal right? Well, this row 5 ticket was right smack at the corner of the catwalk. It was a front row, can see his freckles, can hopefully get spit on seat. And I gave it away to a gal I didn't know.

Well, what does one do at this point? Apparently, losing one's mind was a good idea. The security guy wouldn't let me take the seat even if no one was sitting there. I was so distraught that I couldn't even cry. Nelle and Sheri in Seattle came over to ask what was going on. We all had a discussion with the security guy. No go. He told me to go back to the ticket window. I did. They told me that I couldn't sit there without a ticket. It's really hard to describe the emotions that were raging through my mind at this point. I was so sad, and disappointed in myself that I had messed up in the ultimate way. I went down again, Sheri and Nelle hugged me, assuring me that the girl would come forward with the ticket. I went to sit at my row 43 seat. About seven minutes before showtime, I decided to give it one more shot and went back to the ticket window. Still, they said no.

When I got back to my row 43 seat, a girl said, "Nelle is looking for you. They FOUND your ticket!" GAAAAHHHH!!! I ran towards the front of the arena, the Beu sisters had started their set. Nelle gave me the ticket and hugged me. There were cheers and claps all around. Sheri held my hand. My only coherent thought was, "I LOVE the broads! They are so *&^%$# supportive!"

To be honest, that was the highlight of my evening. Granted, I got to see Clayton about ten feet away. There was the up-close EF, the lip bite, the clutch, the side kick and our eyes even connected for about .33 seconds. However, what really struck me was how we had all formed a bond as broads!

He sang "When I Need You," in such a funny way. The way he connects with his audience is unbelievably mature for someone who only started a serious singing career a little over a year ago. His confidence onstage is just incomprehensible. (Will think of him every time I have to sing onstage!) The freckles are beautiful. That speaking twang is adorable. It was just so hard to digest that CLAY was right in front of me! Simply put, it was the best way to lose my concert virginity.

Then, it was over so soon. Sheri, Nelle and I hugged together. Even the security guy was touched. He volunteered to take our picture. Could we just repeat the whole Clay portion of the concert again? Please?

Alas, I had to drive my mom to work, and I couldn't stay to watch the buses leave. CA Elizabeth's husband who is THE MAN was wonderful enough to drive us to our car. Thank you to all the broads out there for forming such a warm, fuzzy group. Thank you to Clayton Holmes Aiken for being our favorite "princess." I can't wait to hear a glory note in person again.

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