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2004-06-05
8:30 a.m.
LBFCA Glossary
Alpha Aikened-
Put in your place by the Alpha Male. Reference
BEVR-
Broad's Eye View Report, an eyewitness account of a Clay-related sighting. Independent Tour Archives. American Idol Tour Archives.
BIRD-
Broad Instant Recognition Device, aka Purple Tie Pin. Reference (scroll down)
BIT-
Broad In Training, often the daughter of a Broad.
Broads-
A group of women gifted with beauty, wit, and creativity, and united in their love and devotion for Clayton Holmes Aiken. Reference. Also see: You know you're a Broad if...
Broadfest-
A gathering of Broads in connection with a Clay live appearance.
Broadopoly-
Broad version of Monopoly.
Broadmuda Triangle-
Reference
Brude-
1. Highly evolved men who participate at LBFCA, and are happy to be Clay fans themselves. 2. Men who love Broads, and who support their lifestyle.
Bus #1, Bus #2, Bus #3-
Buses used to follow Clay around groupie-style. Bus assignments based on very loose criteria! See Sandi's post, Guestbook 1, Page 1433, and following pages; Illustration
Buttercup-
Term of endearment for Clay, coined after he sang Build Me Up Buttercup on AI2. See Nelle's post of 0:43 AM, Guestbook 1, Page 1387
Celebrate Clay Every Day & 1st Package Day-
Honoring each of Clay's delightful attributes with a special day each week. Reference
Cellcert-
Sharing of a Clay live experience with another Broad via cellphone.
Cinnamon Trail-
Ginger-colored chest hairs that lead the eyes and the mind, well, "south." Illustration
Clack-
Clay + crack = Clack, from The Clackhouse. (n) Pictures, video, articles, mp3's, and other media related to Clay. Named for it's highly addictive nature. (v) To search for, buy, download, or otherwise obtain clack.
Clayed- How a Broad feels after experiencing the Aiken in concert. Suggested usage--"well-Clayed."
Claygasm, or Claymax-
If you need this defined, you're in the wrong place.
Claylive Virgin-
A Broad who has not had the pleasure of a live Clay performance.
Clayphonics-
Learn to talk like Clay! Reference
Clay/December Romance-
The thing Broads have for Clay Aiken.
Clayversion-
To cause someone to finally see the "light" of Clay.
Clayvita-
Health regimen. See Loretta's post, Guestbook 3, Page 784 (Scroll down)
Clig-
A spiky wig which has, on at least one occasion, transported its wearer into the presence of Clay. Reference
Clipple-
Clay's nipple.
Cloncert-
Clay in concert.
Cluppy-
Clay's dog, Raleigh. Illustration
Coming Tour-
Clay's Independent Tour of 2004, which also featured Kelly Clarkson.
DomClay-
Dominant Clay. Reference
Downy Ball-
Term of endearment for Clay. Reference
DTTR/DTTL-
Dressing to the Right/Dressing to the Left. Reference
EF-
Eye F**k. Or, (PG-rated) Eye Fornication. Or, (G-rated) Eye Flirt. Reference #1, Reference #2 (Just because we like multiples)
Fo' Shizzle-
For sure. Reference
Freckled Stallion-
Term of endearment for Clay. See also The Ranch.
Fugly-
F**king ugly. Reference
GAH!-
The sound a Broad makes when confronted with a breath-taking view of Clay.
Gurrls- Clay's term of affection for his Broads. Only Clayton may call us "girls," and when he does, it sounds like "gurrls" or even "gurrrlls" depending on how long it's on the tongue. Either way, it makes our toes curl.
Handles-
Clay's ears. Reference
HRH -
His Royal Hotness. Or, His Royal Hugeness. (Although one might argue, what's the difference?)
It's All Clay Aiken's Fault-
that the laundry isn't done, that the house isn't clean, that we're eating takeout again, etc. The excuse behind the lifestyle.
Kissing Clay Immersion Therapy-
Therapy technique in which Clay kisses every Broad in the room for at least 2 minutes each, ostensibly for the purpose of helping a Broad overcome her aversion to the idea of Clay kissing any woman other than herself. See Nelle's post, Guestbook 2, Page 94
KK-
Krispy Kreme doughnuts, which Clay loves to eat, and which comprise half of his butt. Reference
Lifestyle-
Activities, such as buying concert tickets, upgrading concert tickets, flying across country to attend concerts, buying high-speed internet access, faster computers, and more hard drives, spending an inordinate amount of time on the Internet reading and writing about Clay Aiken, and clacking in general, which make up much of the daily routine of a Broad, but in no way may be considered an obsession. Reference
Manifesto-
A statement of the purpose of the LBFCA.
MOAM-
Measure of a Man, Clay's hit debut CD.
Mr. President-
Clay, President of the LBFC Fan Club. See post by the President of the LBFC Fan Club, Guestbook 3, Page 780, Reference
Nek'kid Happy Dancing--
A ceremonial dance of happiness often performed after achieving Claymax or viewing exceptional Clack or hearing news of an upcoming tour or preparing for a Broadfest or celebrating news of Clay's personal and professional achievements or just mentioning Clay's name in passing. One can do this alone or participate with others. The best form of Nek'kid Happy dancing is when one wears only her tassels, purple in color, varying in size.
OCB-
Our Collective Boyfriend. (From The Clackhouse)
OCD-
Obsessive Claypulsive Disorder.
Odin-
Multi-faceted feline who's a Main Page Broad, a Brude, and an HTML master. An Idol in his own right, he has a devoted fan following in the Lecherous Cats For Odin. Ever willing to serve, he is a member of Cats for Clay Club and the leader of the Cat Attack Squad.
OFTFLOFCAGC-
A picture is worth a thousand words.
OMC-
Our Man Clay. (Popular at That's The Clay and The Clayboard)
OMGHSFGICB-
Oh My God, He's So F**king Gorgeous I Can't Breathe! Illustration #1 , Illustration #2
Post-Claytal Depression-
aka Post-Clay Concert Depressive Disorder. Reference
Pooty Fingers-
"Poor" fingers, worn to a frazzle by voting to keep Clay on top.
Post-Claytal Bliss-
Obviously, what follows a Claygasm!
PP's-
Purple Pages, the guestbook of the LBFCA.
Purple Tassels-
Suggested attire for Nek'kid Happy Dancing.
The Ranch-
AKA The Double-O Wild BEVR Ranch. Reference
Red Shoe Diaries-
Fans wearing red shoes to Clay's first concert tour. Reference
SARS-
Severe Acute Rapture Syndrome. Reference
Sex Manual- Vol. 1: The Coming Tour concert program. Vol. 2: The 04 Summer/Cummer/Unnggh Tour concert program.
Shuttle-
Space shuttle commissioned to launch starlets or any other attractive females who get within range of Clay. Particularly offensive ones may become shuttle fuel. (From the Clackhouse)
Shyte-
Sh**. Reference
Snark-
Sarcasm. Reference
Spatula-
Instrument of punishment and/or pleasure.
State of Delusion- That blissful place where Clay really is our boyfriend. Reference
Studly Doright-
Term of endearment for Clay.
Sugarpants-
Term of endearment for Clay. Reference
Thud-
Sound of a Broad fainting.
Thudmuffin-
Thud + Studmuffin. Term of endearment for Clay. For recipe, see Ruth's post, Guestbook 1, page 850
Tiaras-
Suggested attire for Queens of Delusion. Reference (scroll down)
Tiger-
See DomClay . Reference
Twister-
Clay's favorite game to play with his Broads. Reference
WDC-
When Doves Cry, the song which, when performed live by Clay, is responsible for the simultaneous melting of the most Broads.
Where's Waldo?-
Diligent examination of photos and videos of Clay for a sighting of his manhood. (See also HRH and OFTFLOFCAGC.)
Ziploc-
Recommended cloncert gear, used for collecting melted Broads for storage until they can be restored.
