Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-06-06
9:10 p.m.

Boys On Bikes

Once upon a time (it seems like forever ago, doesn't it?), Clay was on the cover of Teen People. Somehow, I was one of the first to get a copy (this never happens...I do not have that sort of luck), and one night, I was chatting with a bunch of Broads who hadn't seen it yet.

I had them each get out their Entertainment Weekly "guilty pleasures" issue (the one with the nummy picture of Clay on the bike in the white shirt), and I described the Teen-Peep bike pic to them in terms of that one...while having both pictures sitting side by side on my desk.

Well, long story short (hey�who said "too late"??), the next morning when I came into my office, the magazines were still sitting there, with two Clays on bikes looking seductively up at me...and I thought..."Heyyyy...twins."

And the Aiken Boys were born.

Okay, not born, but those two rapscallions took up residence in my house immediately, and have been wearing me out ever since. I don't know how you people with children do it, frankly! Reminding them to put their bikes away and not leave them in the driveway...making sure they get home before the street lights come on...getting them freshly scrubbed before tucking them into me...uh, I mean their beds.

(In case you were wondering...no, they don't sleep in my bed with me. Mr Julie sleeps in my bed. The boys sleep next to my side of the bed on little pallets on the floor, where I can reach down and pet them during the night. Not that they're not allowed on the furniture or anything...as soon as Mr Julie isn't looking, they always start jumping on the bed, and I have to tackle them to get them to stop, and then...well, stuff happens.)

I have, at times, loaned them out to Broads who needed them...like when the heater went out at Jannet's and she had no other means of keeping quite that warm...then they were supposed to stop off for a night at Cella's on the way back, but somehow they didn't return home for several days...but at least there were no visible marks on them, which is really all I ask... ;o)

The new shots of those naughty Aiken Boys that surfaced recently brought me out of my exhausted stupor (seriously�imagine keeping up with one young'un like Clayton, let alone two!) long enough to get a little creative...so, if you'll permit me to share...

Where the Boys Are
(by the ever-fabulous Neil Sedaka,
lovingly rewritten by Julie)

Where the boys are, heaven waits for me
A smilin' face, a pink shoelace
Four arms to hold me tenderly

Where the boys are, is biking down my street
Or in the park, home before dark
Or else grounded in my room they'll be

I'm that one-in-a-million woman
Who found her valentines
In the pages of two magazines
Huffy-ed up with shades that shine!

Till it's bathtime, I'll wait impatiently
When I'll scrub them, rub-a-dub them
'Cuz I wub them...
And then they do me!

...and, with that, I'm gone with the Schwinn!
(tm Kermit the Frog)

-- thanks muchly to Nelle for pointing me to those pics at the Clackhouse, Jill for her song suggestion, Cella for...well, she knows what...and Papa Neil for just being so wonderful. I wub him, too!


Las Vegas, November 2003
right before he kissed me the second time ;o)

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