2004-06-09
10:17 p.m.

BEVR: Lila/Dover June 6, 2004

A SORT OF CONCENTRATED BEVR: Lila, Dover Downs 6/5/04

THE MUSCLE SHIRT OF DOVER

The BAF Benefit Concert at Dover Downs was a delicious island of transition between the Independent Tour and the much anticipated Cummer Tour. It was unique and wondrous in so many ways� the unobstructed (zero signage) Beauty of the Clayton, the mesmerizing clarity of the Voice, hugs and laughs with mah beloved Broads!, um�Brett. But the most significant was the intimacy of the venue. And because of this intimacy, made all the more cozy by paying my dues (6 damp, aching and very giggly hours) on the Line of FanGirly Penance, I was up-close and personal for the consummation of my longstanding affair with the Muscle Shirt of Dover.

The Shirt and I were first introduced by my beloved Leather Pants (a shout out to me!) at the AMA�s last November. The Shirt was shy, and content to lurk under the jacket, offering only teasing glimpses of its asymmetrical buttons while letting the beloved Leather Pants steal all the attention as they folded and draped and showcased the�.ahem�Clay so well.

The Shirt had a habit of checking in on the ClayNation fansites and came across several appreciative mentions of its AMA debut. Apparently, Clay�s fans favored things that were skewed, off-center, and didn�t just go along with what was considered to be the norm. So The Shirt started to feel better about itself, and it worked up the confidence to go solo at the Hurricanes hockey game in December. It was very well received and basked happily in all the cheers and applause Clay�s hometown crowd delivered.

In fact, The Shirt made a name for itself as an LBFCA favorite by rubbing up against two of our own, Danielle and Tony, and by generously showing off some of Clay�s ass-ets�.I developed a little crush on The Shirt.

Then The Shirt went on hiatus. Highly unusual for an article Clay�s clothing! They tend to go into syndicated reruns very quickly once they make their debut. I wondered�maybe The Shirt had gotten into trouble for being such a show-off with Clay�s ass-ets. Clay seemed to prefer being discrete about his ass-ets. Ah well.

I thought often about The Shirt as the seasons shifted and time passed. I went out on the town with a variety of green shirts, but *sigh* it just wasn�t the same. (cue The Way for soundtrack)

And then!! Just a couple of weeks ago�.there it was in Greensboro at the AI3 finale! My, my, my. The Shirt was lookin� good! All duded up with a fancy shiny tie. Hmmm. Something was different. Yep�. It had gotten tucked!

But that wasn�t all. Something else was going on. Could it be that Clay had assigned the Shirt pride of place? Instead of being punished for showing off, had the Shirt been in training for some special time or place or performance? Because it sure looked like there were some previously missing assets being shown off in Greensboro. I couldn�t exactly put my fingers on it because I wasn�t there, and the Clack was too far away to be sure of anything �.except that The Shirt looked gooooood. It was strutting its stuff. And I think it winked at me.

Only days later it was back yet again at Brett�s High School graduation ceremony. Now I definitely knew The Shirt was flirting with me. Knowing how I value education, and that I have flipped quite a few tassels myself�.both with and without mortarboard, it just had to show up at graduation. There it was, flaunting that it was still getting tucked �.Yikes! I could not tear my eyes away. I mean�just look at those shoulders!! And the mouth! And the eyes!

So, by the time I got to the Rollins Center at Dover Downs I was not surprised to see thatThe Shirt was there. The Shirt and I were now going steady.

Little did I know, however, that The Shirt was intent on having its way with me that night. No longer shy and retiring, the Shirt was oozing confidence. I can�t blame it since Clay seemed to have forsaken all other shirts in favor of the increasingly snug bravado of �.yes!....it is clear�.I see it now��it is

THE MUSCLE SHIRT OF DOVER!!

Look at it straining to contain pecs and delts and traps. GASP!! There is�definition!! Oh yeah!

Come, sit down. Let me tell you the story of that night in Dover Downs. Can you picture it? The darkened, intimate ballroom. The sound is clear and beautiful. The stage is close, very close. The first bars of Kyrie�.

I am now completely at the mercy of Clay, the Voice and the Muscle Shirt of Dover. They commence the debacling.

The songs are familiar, the singer relaxed. I follow his every movement, savor every glorious note.

The acoustic set is the finest evah (well�except maybe for Wilkes-Barre). No need for Clay to power the lyrics to fill an arena. He just has to sing slow and easy to fill our souls and touch our hearts. There is little sound in the ballroom other than Danny�s guitar, the voices harmonizing, Clayton�s Voice resonating through me, and The Shirt doing what it does best�

�showing off Clayton�s assets.

Now. It�s time. When Doves Cry. The music starts pulsing�a little louder� a little stronger� a little faster. Tension builds. Angela shimmyglides to the grindage side of the stage. Clay rises from the tall chair. The heat rises with him. There are anticipatory eeeeeeh�s and wooooo�s bubbling up from my throat along with those of the women around me. The bankers and NASCAR drivers look around over their right shoulders, their left shoulders�their eyebrows elevate. They are absorbing the tension, confused, uninformed. There is a tease of what is to come�.

And then Angela and Clay engage. Hands sliding, palms gliding. His fingers caressing her thigh, the swell of her hip, her waist, her hands in the burnished silk of his hair, stroking. Arms draping. Her fingers rippling over the newly realized firmness of his rounded chest, the pumped shoulder, the thickened firmness of the arm, the back, the narrow waist., all brazenly on display and flaunted by the Shirt. Our fangirly shouts erupt every time a variation in contact is made.

And then the Shirt does what it came to do. It finishes me off.

It is more than we have ever had before.

Who knew that 8� of tightly tucked Beefy-T could be so exciting?

It is. Trust me.

Listen to the Clack videos. You can hear the elevated pitch of the screams, the palpable shock and our responsive frenzy. (You don�t get to hear us plotting and swearing to steal, burn, hide, shred every t-shirt the man owns as soon as the song is over.)

Clayton had introduced When Doves Cry by saying that it was the last time it would be performed in concert; that they were �putting it to bed�. I never expected the Muscle Shirt of Dover to grin and fling the covers off the bed. I love that Shirt. I am its beyotch.

Now if only The Shirt would teach some of his pants how to, um, tighten up. ��

maybe ahm just like my mother, she�s never satisfi-i-i-i-ied��

*****

Thanks to Shine in NC for the AI3 finale pic,

Thanks to Suzette for the Dover Downs pics.

I have lost track of the sources for the other photos, but we will be happy to attribute if they are yours and you contact us.

Thanks and many kisses to the gif Goddess Kelly for capturing the consummation of the Debacle in Dover.

Posted by Lisa