2004-09-15
8:28 p.m.

Pssst, Over here!!!

Dear Clay ...

We read recently that you think Lecherous Broads show up at your shows "every once in a while" and that we have "the most creative signs of all!"

I won't challenge you on the sign thing, honey ... but this showing up "every once and a while," Huh!?!?!

Nelle says, "Clay is such a gentleman ... being discreet about the multiple encounters he has had with Lecherous Broads ..."

That may be true, but I'm here to set things straight ... We are fame whores, afterall. Oh wait, maybe that's just the Erbin/Clig Broads and myself ... No matter ...

And you probably don't even realize it because we are soooo well behaved!

(Why are you looking at me like that?)

I've done some research and if you will allow me, I'd love to take you ... on a little trip. (Had you going there for a second, huh?) Never fear, we're just going to take a step back in time ... back ... back ... to a year or so ago.

The place ... Indianapolis, on the way to the bus, you touched a woman's hand. Well, you didn't know it then, but that was our very own Ruth. You touched her hand and she was tingling from head to toe!!

Fast-forward ... Cleveland ... white suit ... and a sign that said ... "Clay's Got the Moves" ...

Yep, that's what Kimberme is pointing to. That was our very own Queen Marie's handy work.

Then it was on to Wilkes-Barre where Cindy gave you her green Teddy.

And August, 2003 ... Atlanta, GA ...

That little gem belongs to Famous Broad Erin. Her sign actually made the Rolling Stone website!

(She also gave JohnD that nifty little bottle in Dayton recently. You know the one!)

Then you came to Orlando ... and Sherry and I came in Orlando ... TO Orlando!! You sang to Sherry when she held up her 'LBFCA' sign at one end of row 4 and you pointed, sang to and laughed at your Tramp when she held up the "Lecherous Broad in the Flesh" sign, at the other end of row 4.

But that Tramp was a real tramp and she had not only one, but two other signs that night and they ended up on the AI2 Tour Special: LOTR.

(BTW, thanks for that clutch and all the fun during 'Lady is a Tramp.')

Oh, but this is just scratching the surface!!

We have NSST who got you to say .. "Donuts on mah butt!"

We have the FAB FIVE who attended the Miss America Pageant ... just to hear you sing one song!

We have Cotton, who not only lei'd you recently ... but back in November ... she was seen on your local tv station with this sign!!

(She's now known as 'She Who Lei'd Clay the Broad FKA Cotton')

You made a trip to the Crabtree Mall and when Raleighgurrl blew you a kiss ... you caught it and held it to your heart and somehow she managed to take this picture.

(Speaking of Raleighgurl ... remember the signs ... "JACOB, THE SAX LAST NIGHT WAS GREAT!" and "TONIGHT, I'M HOPING TO GET LEI'D BY CLAY! ")

Uh, yep ... you caught the kiss blown from the hand that wrote those dirty signs!!

In the Spring, our very own Carol in FL could be seen on Access Hollywood ... TOUCHING you!!! A Woo Hoo!!

You were entertained by Julie's signs in St Louis and somehow managed to get Cindy's nametag affixed to your lapel ... hmmm, how did that happen again?

Cha Cha Trusty gave you some "donuts for your butt."

And this summer, Cindy was out in force with this sign. That Broad gets around!

Ring any bells?

Now that doesn't even begin to tap into the numerous Broads/Brudes that you've met!!!

Remember these two?

Tony and Danielle (aka Queen Marie)... Broad and Brude in the flesh!

There's Joanie and Paula and Diana in the Loo ... The BackDoor Broads ... and not to mention Our Very own NELLE at Leno! ... and OMG OMG OMG ... Maylon and her Rain Stick!

Remember the Hula Gurls?

Michelle and Heather ... Broads!!

There were near misses and passing glances too numerous to mention. Like that one cutie in Nashville, wearing a cute little white pageboy with an embroidered flower on top ... you were about to pick her for the dance contest and Angela pulled you away ... uh huh ... BROAD! Her name is Rainbeaux. You missed your chance on that one!!

And little do you realize, but recently in Dayton, Ohio ... you managed to touch about 10 or 15 Broads while walking through the bus line.

The one who grabbed your thumb and screamed "THANK YOU FOR STILL THE ONE!" ... that was Kelly.

The one who licked you ... that was Robin. (Kidding, she only drooled a little.)

The one who actually "shook" your hand ... that was Katynka and the one who looked at you with wild manzee eyes ... that was Melissa.

You even touched your very own Tramp and probably didn't even realize it!

(Although, I like to think you DID know it was me and that's why you turned back quickly as you touched my hand ... Hey! I AM living in the State of Delusion!)

Point is ... even if we're not wearing tiaras and purple shirts ... even if we don't have signs identifying "who" we are ... we're there and we love you with all our hearts and I think that in the end maybe, that's all you really need to know.

Then again, maybe you DO know and this was just your sly way of getting our attention ... hmmmm

Yours,
Wendy in FL

Posted By: Lisa

Apologies to anyone who was missed ... there are just SOOOO many to keep track of!