2004-01-17
2:32 p.m.

BobbleFest BEVR Doc in NC

Doc in NC

So, I decided to blow off my father-in-law's birthday for Clay Aiken. Not a hard decision, right? Right. It seemed easy enough. My husband is an ECU grad, he never gets to go to any ECU events, I bought tickets without telling him, how could this fail? Well, sometimes he's smarter than I give him credit for. As soon as I told him whom ECU was playing he turned to me and asked, "Hmmm, will Clay be at this 'game'?"

Busted.

I told him I knew he'd never forgive himself if he didn't get a Clay Bobblehead doll. He said he could live without the BobbleClay. Then, he politely asked if I could get one of my friends to go as one of us really needed to be present for the 60th birthday party and he could tell them I already had the tickets�enter Raleighgurrl, stage left. After an e-mail to tell her I too had to be back by Sunday morning, I had a cohort for my Bobblehead excursion.

So, I got up early Saturday morning, told Grace I had a 'good' meeting to go to, saw a client, and headed for Raleigh. By the time I picked Raleighgurrl up at 12:30, I was wired on caffeine and had eaten two breakfasts - I'm so going to blow up during this pregnancy. I also had to pick up a pair of binoculars at "Dick's Sporting Goods." (You can all 'insert' your own jokes here) After we pried Raleighgurrl's daughter off her leg, we were on our way. We had no trouble getting to Charlotte and found the restaurant and then the campus. I must say, I went by that campus a few thousand times in the eight years I went to school in Raleigh, and never once had I been on the grounds. It is really a nice campus. Lots of trees and grass and a really nice track facility with statues out front. Now they need a statue of Clay somewhere�oh, wait, they already have the Bell Tower�

So, we're there about 2 hours before dinner. OK, I was paranoid about not being able to find anything on campus in the dark, so I got there REAL early. It's all good though. Raleighgurrl got the most boring tour of Charlotte ever and we were the first to meet�

NSST

We get to the Lotus Garden and�there's nowhere to park. We assumed that the number of Broads may have increased from 25 to 250 and happily parked in the far, far away parking lot and proceeded to the Garden. As we're walking in we see a lovely lady in a purple jacket. We looked at each other and said, "She had on purple�maybe," but before we could finish the sentence, NSST had us in the restaurant and seated with her charming (and snarky) BIT. Many Broads followed - and a few Brudes, which impressed me greatly - and we scared most of the people in the place. Raleighgurrl noted that they painted the walls purple in honor of our evening and then she managed to get the best fortune ever from a fortune cookie. I'm not jealous, really. Just because no one could understand my fortune, even when you read it real slow - no, I'm not jealous.

Off to the game. What a surprise, I knew how to find the campus. We ended up parked next to the Atlanta Broads and walked up to BobbleClay Mecca with them. After we procured said Bobblehead and lamented about how woefully anatomically incorrect he was, we raided the NewsChannel 14 booth and made them give up all their red pens. Around this time two tweenieboppers asked what board we were from and then shrunk back in horror when we told them. The head spokesbopper said she had never heard of us, but I'm not so sure. If you don't know about BobbleClay and earthquakes and after shocks, then you don't need to be here. We tearfully said good-bye to our fellow Broads, as we knew we were probably leaving after the concert to head back to Raleigh. I had a wonderful time with all of them and cannot wait for Broadfest.

Our seats were in the opposite corner from the Atlanta Broads. We got to see his glorious face for the whole SSB�and Kelly's answering machine got about 30 seconds worth. After I realized Kelly wasn't home, I called my pusher, The Tramp (aka ClaysTramp), and asked if she would like a cellcert. And the Tramp was happy again.

The SSB. It was beautiful and so was he. Raleighgurrl figured out the purpose of the fugly shoes - boots would scuff the delicate wood floor, only sneakers allowed - and I forgave him. I think that song needs a few more verses if he's going to keep singing it� it's too short.

The game. Didn't watch it. We were sitting in the alumni section, so there were plenty of other people watching it for us. We kept looking for an appropriate place to seat Clayton. No throne visible, no cushy chairs, no red carpet�hmmm. Then they led him in and seated him at the end of the court, our end, at a table. I had already spotted Miss Faye sitting in the first row behind where they seated him and then Jerome took up office right behind Clay. Clay wasn't really watching the game, so I didn't feel compelled to either. After watching him for a while, I took up my other favorite pastime�people watching.

The scary stalker woman. I quickly spotted a very odd looking woman who was slowly walking back and forth on the walkway above where Clay was seated. She had a smallish sign that said, "Clay - we need to talk - dinner?" OK. What is up with that? She didn't look happy either. She looked MAD. She tried to act nonchalant about carrying her sign, but is that really possible? The security guys at every section asked her to move along and I really thought at one point she was going to get the boot. I then noticed she was heading back to her seat�why, oh, why would she abandon her pursuit? Why, because Clay had left to go prepare for his concert. Yes, I was so engrossed with 'stalker woman' that I didn't even notice he had left. Oh well, 5 minutes closer to Clay.

Halftime. First, I called the Tramp. Clay gave UNCC a check and they gave his foundation a check and then they gave him a portrait of himself�no, wait, that was the bell tower. Anyway, they gave him a painting and then it was time. He was luminous. He was sexy. He looked happy. He looked like he did his own hair. He messed up "The Way" and I could have cared less. He was singing. He had on fugly shoes...and a really long jersey. You know which songs he sang, so I won't go into that again. I did spot 'stalker woman' again. She had shed her outer layer and was now wearing a pink shirt, which read either "I ate" or "I hate." I couldn't see the rest of it or the back, so that's all I can say about the shirt. I still have no idea what that was about. I also noted the cheerleaders and their less than cheerleader like behavior. It started with his first pass around for "Invisible." He pointed at two cheerleaders who had broken away from the group. This gesture prompted two more to scurry over and join their friends. Next pass around, he touched one of them sending them into spasms on the floor. When he finished all the male cheerleaders had left and only the females were left on the sideline huddled together watching Clay leave. Then it was like it hit them�they were allowed backstage�Clay was now backstage�there should have been little "BeepBeep"s and RoadRunner dust clouds they hauled off the floor so fast. All cheerleader decorum was lost. Why do cheerleaders wear bows on their heads that hang down to their chins? I'm just asking. After halftime, I realized that Miss Faye had left. Clay had left, and the people sitting with Clay had left. I took this to be a good sign he was not coming back and Raleighgurrl and I decided it was time to leave. On the way home, Raleighgurrl and I talked about the 'stalker woman' and crazy fans in general. She informed me that grown women have been known to hide out in the bushes in front of Miss Faye's house and that tour buses have actually passed down the street. That's just wrong. Do not stalk Clay or his family. Specifically, when he's being 'Clayton' - just leave him be. If you don't, he will probably become more and more reclusive and we'll all miss out. He might just quit altogether.

It was a magical, BobbleClay night and I can't wait to meet more Broads and, of course, see Clay again. I leave you all with my first ultrasound picture. This is dedicated to Erin who didn't know if I was really pregnant�or really delusional.

- Doc in NC

- Posted by Doc's biggest fan ... Wendy in FL
- Picture created by Mr. Wendy.