Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-06-28
8:47 a.m.

The LBFCA State of Delusion

A.K.A. The 51st State

Today, during his State of The Union Address, President Bush declared that The LBFCA: State of Delusion, is to be admitted as the 51st State of the United States Of America. (and isn't it fitting for a bunch of lecherous Broads to be welcomed by a Bush!)

In addition, The United Nations will be dissolved and will reform as The United ClayNation. A representative from each country will be present for this unprecedented event.

The ceremony will take place at the Purple House.

The date and time will be submitted secretly in hopes of keeping the swarm of unwanted paparazzi to a safe and secure minimum. (yeah right, like a Famewhore ever tried to STOP the paparazzi!)

Broad Representatives of The State of Delusion will dedicate the State Symbols at this time. The State Symbols were adopted to represent the history and diversity of the State and the occupying Delusian’s.

Origin of the name Delusion:
The word implies some deception practiced upon the mind. Delusion is deception from want of knowledge. It is in other words some idea presented to the body which does not exist in reality. The true meaning clearly does not reflect our state or it‘s people. The Delusian’s have constant evidence of their way of life and with this induction…now… so will the world.

The State Symbols

State Flag:

The state flag was designed in 2003 by LB Cindy.
The crown represents the coveted Crown of Delusion worn by Broads across the Nation. It also represents the royalty established by the "Queen’s of Delusion" and features the letter "C" sitting high atop.

State Motto:OFTFLOCAGC!
The motto is actually a Clayism acronym. You can find it’s history (and all the words) in Guestbook 1 located on page 916. It has been incorporated into a brilliant Main Page complete with "graphics" and is to this day, an exclamation used in everyday Broad conversation.

This popular motto was created by Abbyharp at PROC, The Clack House, from our neighboring Clay Nation, The Kingdom of Do Me.

State Nickname: The Ginger State

Ginger is cultivated and harvested right here in the great State of Delusion. Ginger Trails are thought to be sacred by some. The large, fleshy "ginger root" is actually not a root at all (we have our own researchers who disagree and are investigating the matter). In the fresh form, ginger has a characteristic staghorn-like appearance. Researchers say Ginger can relieve the nausea experienced by pregnant women. One of the reasons ginger was adopted is that our State has an usual abundance of pregnancy among the Broads. Ginger is also a great natural preservative and meat tenderizer.

State Tree: The Redwood

The Redwood tree can grow over 300 feet tall and over 20 feet in diameter. That's a BIG trunk. Big enough to satisfy all the Broads. (And if Clay were to be a tree, I am sure his wood would be red or at least a nice strawberry color.)

State Flower: Morning Glory

The Morning Glory was chosen for it’s vibrant purple color. Oh…and it sure is nice to think of waking each morning…rolling over to stare at your elegantly framed 8 x 10 glossy of Clay and saying, "Morn’n Glory". And did I mention that these flowers literally RISE UP each morning AND grow on long vines. Yeah…it’s a GLORIOUS flower indeed.

Purple has a special, almost sacred place in nature. Purple flowers are often delicate and considered precious.

State Color: Purple (did you guess that already)

Of all the colors of the rainbow, no doubt purple is the liveliest, most regal of hues. As mentioned, Purple is associated with Royalty and Spirituality. Purple is also known to bring out imagination or an artist's creativity. (yes…we know)

State Dog: Raleigh

Not only is Raleigh Clay’s dog but she is cute and we assume very smart. Plus her little legs come in a convenient four pack…perfect for easy carry.

State Insect: The Butterfly

"Hey, butterfly, open up your weary eyes And realize it's a trip we're takin'." Most insects do not change as they become bigger but the butterfly changes shape and size as it grows. It’s life is a constant journey with continual changes along the way.

State Fruit: Watermelon

Watermelon is an all-American favorite for meals and snacks. When planting, watermelon vines require considerable space. Plant your seeds one inch deep in hills spaced 6 feet apart. Allow 7 to 10 feet between rows. Once your watermelon has developed you will receive a large juicy round fruit. Watermelons are ripe when they spread a sweet smell. Besides, we know Clay isn’t allergic to it!

State Nut: Nope…not a one.

State Beverage: Blue Waldo

The Blue Waldo is the Broadfest drink of choice. It is smooth and goes down easy. A must try when visiting, get a few Blue Waldos in you and you’ll see why we are The State of Delusion.

The origin of the Blue Waldo seems to derive from The ClackHouse. It was brought to our state in the fall of 2003 by long time Broad Gini.

State Fish: The Cod

Also known as "scrod" ...Cod are bottom trawlers. Smoked cod is best poached. Cod is an excellent source of protein.

State Vegetarian Food: The Scallion

Scallions are long green leaves with a white bulb. Both parts are edible ... lickable too (if you're into that.) They can be wrapped up for up to five days then they are really juicy. They can be eaten raw or warmed ...Scallions were obviously chosen for their versatility.

State Meat : Foot Long Weiner

An American staple, they are mild and can be smoked. They are traditionally served in a bun with a variety of dressings ... Is anyone else warm?

State Flavoring: Vanilla

We all know Vanilla is Sexy! "Vanilla is a pleasant, aromatic aphrodisiac, and may posses magical influences in physical energy as well as love."

State River: The French Broad River

The main stem (the main river called the French Broad from Rosman, North Carolina to the Tennessee/North Carolina border and up through the foothills of the State of Delusion ) is 117 miles long. It is the 3rd oldest river in the world, older than the mountains in which it flows. The French Broad River is a water resource that many Broads utilize for primary recreation. They are often seen frolicking on the river banks in nothing but their Happy Nek’kid Danc’n attire. (see below: State Medal)

State Pin: The BIRD

The Broad Recognition Device. LBFCA always considered Clay’s purple tie during his concert tour as his shout-out to our Purple Pages. The pin was designed by Broad Julie and has been spotted on Broads across the US, Canada, South Africa, New Zealand and Hawaii just to name a few places.

State Medal: The Purple Tassel

I, being the Broad in charge of ordering The Purple Tassels, take great pride in announcing it as the State Medal of Honor. Each person who declares, "I am a Broad" is presented with a pair of the prestigious tassels. Tassels can also be awarded for courageous acts or valiant efforts. They are most commonly used for Happy Nek’kid Danc’n.

State Glossary:

Compiled earlier this summer by LB Frances ...
This is home to much of the terminology used by the Delusians ...

State of Delusion Pledge:
Written by LB Michelle VA in 2003

(It is appropriate but not always possible, to place your right hand over your heart when pledging.)

State Song: Clayton On Our Mind

Sung to "Georgia on My Mind"
Re-written by Robin

And we have just learned.....The State song will be sung at the ceremony by Rock Star Joe! Rock Star Joe had initially planned a 30 day European tour but heard that the Broad's wanted him and he was gracious enough to change his schedule. Joe is the fiancé of Famous Broad Erin.

Clayton on Our Mind

Clayton, Clayton, the whole day through
Our constant thoughts, keeps Clayton on our mind.
Clayton, Clayton, the thought of you
Makes us feel as though, we're floating on cloud nine.

All our arms will reach out to thee
All our eyes will smile tenderly
And in peaceful dreams we see
We'll never stray from you.

Clayton, Clayton, each piece so fine
Yes, our constant thoughts, keeps Clayton on our mind.

Many Broad'ly memories
Linger in our hearts
As we think of Clayton,
We know.. We'll ne'ver part!

We stay until each curtain call
You make our world... a song
We're right here by you Clayton,
'Cause that's where we belong.

In closing…

And in unity the Broads declared:


Written and Compiled by: Robin

With helpful ideas and superb tips by Cindy, Wendy in Fl and Nelle

Flag & Purple House Graphics/Tassel Pic by: Cindy
(Special recognition goes out to Broad Cindy for her idea in adopting the Butterfly as the State Insect. She will be awarded The Purple Tassels for her valiant contributions.)

Addition of State Flavoring by: Nelle

Glossary by: Frances

Pledge by: Michelle in VA

Posted by: Wendy in FL
(Who also will receive The Purple Tassels for her idea to adopt the State Meat, The State Vegetarian Food and The State Fish. As well as designing pledge graphics and closing graphics.)

Glossary Book Cover Artwork by: Irek Wojcik

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