Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-08-17
7:21 a.m.

Ranch Olympics: Round I

Rowdy:
Hello everyone, I'm Gooden Rowdy ...

Cox:
And I'm Ivana Cox and you are watching exclusive coverage of the 2004 Ranch Summer Olympic Games.

Rowdy:
That's right Ivana - These Broads have trained all year for these games. Long, hard, sweaty-

Cox:
- hours of practice have gone into preparing for events ranging from the Pole Vault to Krispy Kreme Ring Toss to the Standing Broad Jump.

Rowdy:
So let's get right to our first recap...


Pole Vault Competiton

Rowdy:
After rounds of competition with only her 13.5 foot pole, which she affectionately named "Clay's Pole," the Purple Medal Champion of the 2004 Ranch Summer Pole Vault Competition is Famous Broad Erin.

Cox:
Erin, you had some serious competition from Broads like Kelly in NY, who had quite an unusual technique ... she kept jumping ON the pole. How did you manage to stay focused and achieve such heights?

Erin:
I guess it just comes naturally. I've been wrapping my hands around Clay's Pole for over a year now ...

Rowdy:
That's an interesting name to give one's "pole" ...

Erin:
There's something about knowing I have my hands wrapped around "Clay's Pole" ... it just puts me in the right frame of mind. It's relaxing, really. I just sling "Clay's Pole" over my shoulder and away we go!

Before I know it, he's planted firmly and shooting me right over the top! Higher and higHER AND FASTER AND HIGHER AND FASTER AND SUDDENLY I HAVE TO LET GO OF "CLAY'S POLE" ... and, and ... well, that's kind of how it is ...

Cox:
Yes, well, thank you for taking time to speak with us and good luck to you and "Clay's Pole" in all your future endeavors ...

Erin:
Thanks!

Rowdy:
I wonder if she'll name her next pole, "Rowdy" ...

Cox:
Keep dreamin' stud. That concludes our coverage for today. Join us next time as we bring you more results from the 2004 Ranch Summer Olympic Games.


Written By: Wendy in FL

With additional comments inspired by Kelly in NY ..

Opening Ceremonies: 2004 Ranch Summer Olympics
Round II
Round III
Round IV
Round V

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