2004-07-09
12:47 p.m.

LBFCA Daily Chat: Issue I , When Clay Aiken Comes to Town ...

Special Edition ~~~~~ July 9, 2004 Official Newspaper of the State of Delusion since '04

Broads on the Loose! Double O Wild BEVR Ranch, Somewhere in the State of Delusion ... Citizens in areas neighboring the Wild BEVR Ranch are being warned to stay indoors this evening. It appears that two Ranch Hands have taken the infamous Ranch Truck and are headed into town. These hands should be avoided at all costs! (We all know what Cookie Wendy likes to do with her hands in that truck ... uh, DRIVE! Focus Please!) Though they may appear "sweet" and "innocent" ... we have it on good authority that they can not be trusted! Their calm exteriors are used to gain favor and mask the true Lecherous Broads within.

Clay Aiken Coming on Tour Clay Aiken will bring his Summer Tour to town this evening and the city (as well as various electronic devices) is buzzing with anticipation. Aiken is a fan favorite among Delusians and he is expected to have an excellent turn out.

When Clay Aiken Comes To Town Based on "When God Fearin' Women Get the Blues" By: Martina McBride

She was a Steerette, He was the fastest runner on the track team ... And it all looked so promising We never thought anything would happen like this and then all of a sudden Twenty-five years of love and devotion Down the drain We all heard her hollerin' For a country mile The tread marks showed lack of control When she took out three prize rose bushes and jumped clean over the curb The day she maxed her credit card And threw that Ford into reverse Tell all their husbands They've lost their minds Load'n those digital cam'ras Get'n those purple tassles And alert'n all the Broads No tellin who's heard the news Call the boys downtown at Ticketmaster Tell 'em to clear the entire floor! When Clay Aiken comes to town There ain't no slap-dab-a-tellin' What they're gonna do Run 'round yellin' I've got tickets anawholelotta money I ain't a-slap-dab gone crazy You don’t have to be my baby I just want to see my Claybee! Tell all your gurrlfriends Tell the message boards Tell all the claymates, maniacs and fans The whole claynation Bring your cam'ras and camcorders Bring extra batt'ries too Well call the DJ That's the only way to reach him And there ain't no time to lose She's got all her cell numbers They're Aim'n and Yahoo'n As for all the message boards We don't know who will crash first When Clay Aiken comes to town There ain't no slap-dab-a-tellin' What they're gonna do Run 'round yellin' I've got tickets anawholelotta money I ain't a-slap-dab gone crazy You don’t have to be my baby I just want to see my, see my, see my Claybee!

Today's Weather: HOTT! ~~~ Tonight's Weather: Even HOTTER!

Layout and design by: Wendy in FL (Layout inspired by JK Rowling's "Daily Prophet" from the Harry Potter Series) Song Submitted by: Katie D. Song Re-Written By: Katie D. and Wendy in FL Special Thanks to Robin, Mr. Robin and Mr. Wendy in FL for allowing us the use of their lives in pictures! And Clay's Morningstar (and Sausalito for hosting them) from the Clack House for scanning the Program ... and Melissa for showing me Jenniferafce's first concert pics ...