LBFCA Daily Chat: Issue I , When Clay Aiken Comes to Town ...
Special Edition ~~~~~ July 9, 2004
Official Newspaper of the State of Delusion since '04
Broads on the Loose!
Double O Wild BEVR Ranch, Somewhere in the State of Delusion ... Citizens in areas neighboring the Wild BEVR Ranch are being warned to stay indoors this evening. It appears that two Ranch Hands have taken the infamous Ranch Truck and are headed into town. These hands should be avoided at all costs!
(We all know what Cookie Wendy likes to do with her hands in that truck ... uh, DRIVE! Focus Please!)
Though they may appear "sweet" and "innocent" ... we have it on good authority that they can not be trusted! Their calm exteriors are used to gain favor and mask the true Lecherous Broads within.
Clay Aiken Coming on Tour
Clay Aiken will bring his Summer Tour to town this evening and the city (as well as various electronic devices) is buzzing with anticipation. Aiken is a fan favorite among Delusians and he is expected to have an excellent turn out.
When Clay Aiken Comes To Town
Based on "When God Fearin' Women Get the Blues"
By: Martina McBride
She was a Steerette,
He was the fastest runner on the track team ...
And it all looked so promising
We never thought anything would happen like this
and then all of a sudden
Twenty-five years of love and devotion
Down the drain
We all heard her hollerin'
For a country mile
The tread marks showed lack of control
When she took out three prize rose bushes and jumped clean over the curb
The day she maxed her credit card
And threw that Ford into reverse
Tell all their husbands
They've lost their minds
Load'n those digital cam'ras
Get'n those purple tassles
And alert'n all the Broads
No tellin who's heard the news
Call the boys downtown at Ticketmaster
Tell 'em to clear the entire floor!
When Clay Aiken comes to town
There ain't no slap-dab-a-tellin'
What they're gonna do
Run 'round yellin'
I've got tickets anawholelotta money
I ain't a-slap-dab gone crazy
You don�t have to be my baby
I just want to see my Claybee!
Tell all your gurrlfriends
Tell the message boards
Tell all the claymates, maniacs and fans
The whole claynation
Bring your cam'ras and camcorders
Bring extra batt'ries too
Well call the DJ
That's the only way to reach him
And there ain't no time to lose
She's got all her cell numbers
They're Aim'n and Yahoo'n
As for all the message boards
We don't know who will crash first
When Clay Aiken comes to town
There ain't no slap-dab-a-tellin'
What they're gonna do
Run 'round yellin'
I've got tickets anawholelotta money
I ain't a-slap-dab gone crazy
You don�t have to be my baby
I just want to see my, see my, see my Claybee!
Today's Weather: HOTT! ~~~ Tonight's Weather: Even HOTTER!
Layout and design by: Wendy in FL
(Layout inspired by JK Rowling's "Daily Prophet" from the Harry Potter Series)
Special Thanks to Robin, Mr. Robin and Mr. Wendy in FL for allowing us the use of their lives in pictures!
And Clay's Morningstar (and Sausalito for hosting them) from the Clack House for scanning the Program ... and Melissa for showing me Jenniferafce's first concert pics ...