Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-02-05
2:37 p.m.

Wizard of OZ AI Style: Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After their ominous meeting with the Wizard, the new friends decide that direct confrontation is the best plan. They figure if things get dicey Carmen can always "sing" and bring on a plague of goats. This sounds appropriately biblical to Clay and, so, with a plan in mind they start for the lair of Sl**on, the Wicked Judge of the West.

In his gloomy office, Sl**on calls to the leader of his fearsome flying felines, "Britney! Britney! Stop grooming Madonna you mindless twit. How did I get stuck with you imbeciles? Ah, yes, you have no talent or those few of you that did lost it ages ago. Bloody, hell, Justin quit slapping Justin�Timberlake, Guarini, AAAAGH! Damn you all!!! Britney take this pitiful lot and go get that Clay boy. There's no way he's 'deserving' of those shoes. Get him, his friends, and that dog, too�PETA, ha!"

Soon, the foursome is walking into yet another dark forest. Every step they take it seems the trees move closer and closer. They huddle close together as Raleigh begins barking furiously in Clay's arms and then bolts. Instantaneously, the flying felines are upon them. Britney misses Clay, but Michelle Branch doesn't. Kid Rock grabs Kim, Christina nabs Carmen, and it takes both the Justins to carry off Ruben. Madonna manages to scoop up Raleigh. Clay gets occasional glimpses, through Michelle's death grip, of the approaching castle. It is dark, ugly, small, and unimpressive. "Appropriate," muses Clay. After several minutes, they find themselves in a dank, smelly dungeon room.

"We must be close to Sl**on's office. We've got to get that award."

"Well, how are we going to get out of here, Clay," asks Kim. "I mean I don't know how to pick locks and I don't think even Carmen's goats can break through these walls."

Just then the dungeon door swings wide and in struts Sl**on.

"Well, glad to see you could all join me�too bad you won't be around long enough to enjoy my hospitality. But, first things first, I believe you have something of mine, Clay."

Suddenly, Raleigh jumps up and bites Sl**on squarely on the butt.

"What they bloody�I'm going to kill you, you mangy little beast!"

Before the words are out of his mouth, a huge mob chanting, "Sl**on hates animals!!! Sl**on is evil!!! Sl**on must die!!!" storms the room and exits carrying Sl**on over their heads like a sacrificial lamb.

"I warned him about PETA," giggles Clay.

As Clay and his friends leave the dungeon to find Sl**on's office, they run into the angry mob of flying felines. Clay screams and hides behind Ruben.

"Chill, man. It's under control," whispers Ruben. "If you're looking for Sl**on, those crazy PETS, POTS, whatever, just carted him off and I don't think they want him to be their spokesman, understand?"

"Oh, thank God, he's, like, really, really gone. Not just off to, like, start another contest in another, like, country. He was so, like, really, really, horrible. We can never, ever, like, thank you enough. We will let you take anything you, like, anything you want."

Clay is still cowering behind Ruben even though Britney and Christina are both purring in his direction. "All we want is the AMA Fan Choice Award from his office."

Justin leads them to the office and says, "Go ahead and take it�none of us will be wining it anyway."

At this point a huge catfight erupts and the friends make a quick exit. They hurry down the road to the Emerald Castle, sure that the answers to all their dreams await.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

- By: Doc in NC
- Illustrated and Posted By: Wendy in FL

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