Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-01-26
8:18 a.m.

Wizard of Oz AI Style Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Presently, Clay and Carmen see a forest in the distance. Ugly, rough-looking trees soon line the Purple Brick Road. Clay suddenly turns and looks at Raleigh.

"Good Lord dog! What did you eat?!?"

"I don't think it's her."

Clay raises one eyebrow at Carmen.

"No, fool! I think the smell is coming from the trees, not your dog!"

Just then a gravely voice booms, "Sing! Sing well and ye shall pass. Sing bad and�"

A foul, rotten tomato lands right in front of their feet.

"Not good," whispers Clay. "I'll go first."

Clay lets rip with a stunning rendition of 'To Love Somebody.' The trees actually appear to be bowing as they let him through.

"Dear Lord, help us now," prays Clay.

Carmen takes a deep breath and begins to massacre 'Call Me.' Within seconds she is being pelted with decomposing produce. Clay rushes back, grabs her arm, and pulls while singing 'Unchained Melody' as loudly as possible. This causes the trees to let up long enough to get Carmen out. Just as they duck the last head of lettuce, Clay trips and falls face first on the ground.

"Hey," rings a clear beautiful voice, "watch where you're going."

"Sorry," grumbles Clay. "I didn't see you there."

"How could you when you're busy dodging missiles?"

Clay straightens up and looks at the new stranger. Raleigh is covering her with kisses and is clearly delighted.

"My name is Kimberly. Kimberly Locke," she says, extending her hand and smiling.

"Hi! I'm Clay and this is�"

"Carmen, I'm Carmen. Do I have all the lettuce out of my hair yet?"

"Sorry, girlfriend. They got you good with the last one."

"So, Kim, you don't smell like a trash heap, so you must have made it through unscathed," notes Clay.

"Yes, the 'music critics' seem to like me, but�"

"But, what?"

"Well. All I really want is a hit record. One all my own."

"Ooo, I want that too, but first I need some talent, obviously," Carmen mumbles.

"That's right! We all need something. And Carmen and I are on our way to see the Wizard. Why don't you come too? With your voice, I'm sure he can get you a hit."

"You're on! Let's get movin'. No time like NOW!"

Clay laughs then slowly turns to Carmen, "Maybe you should 'freshen up' a bit before we go."

After several moist wipes, Clay, Kim, Carmen, and Raleigh are once again on their way. As the Purple Brick Road heads deeper into the forest, Clay and Kim are singing beautiful harmony: "If ever a whever a Wiz there was, The Wizard of Oz is one because, Because, because, because, because, beeecauuuse�"

- Written by: Doc in NC
- Illustrated and Posted by: Wendy in FL

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

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