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2004-10-07
BMW Weather Report ...
BMW
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that brings us to Washington state, the entire Northwest (and Canada): We all know that volcanoes are seismographic activity and do not officially fall into the realm of meterology, so sue us! Once again, Mr. Aiken has failed to appear in the Pacific Northwest and Canada and once again another bizarre natural occurence. Mount St Helens has erupted from the pressure below! No doubt a result of her pent-up frustration at not seeing the Aiken perform live! Are these events linked? We think they are and only one conclusion can be made.Mother Nature is a Broad and it is ALL CLAY AIKEN'S FAULT! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In addition to Hurricanes, Tornados have spawned from our current weather events. Now, we as Meteorologist Wanna-Be's are aware that Hurricanes can produce tornados but we have another theory pertaining to this occurrence. We call this The Donut Hole Effect. Let us explain. The Donut has a center piece cut out of it.We refer to this as a �donut hole�. Well, just like the donut, Hurricane�s and Tornado�s have �holes�. A hurricane's winds blow in a large spiral around a relatively calm center of extremely low pressure known as the eye of the storm. Referred to as �eyes� , the BMW�s know they are HOLES. Tornados are much smaller and more concentrated and capable of doing much more damage. Krispy Kremes while sweet to the taste can become addictive and have long term (sometimes devastating) effects. This brings us to our next link to the Broads ... Tornados are referred to as Twisters! We all know what happens when you have spiraling bands of rotating~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Global Warming Vs Broad Warming: Let's consider the movie The Day After Tomorrow. Because of the intense media attention focused on the so-called "global warming" phenomenon, it might be tempting to interpret the recent large upswing in Atlantic hurricane activity as being in some way related to increased human-induced greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide. Such an interpretation of the recent sharp increase in Atlantic basin hurricanes since 1995 is blah blah blah blah blah. Enough already! We know the cause. We have the proof. You �warm� up thousands of Broads and the result is�. MOISTURE! Yes, the hurricanes dumped inch after inch of rain on already saturated land, we do not deny that. But, you factor in the Broad Moisture Effect and with all these Broads in the Sunshine state and Pacific Basin being denied access to one sexy redhead by the name of Clay Aiken and well, you've got rivers overflowing their banks, earthquakes, volcanoes not to mention cats and dogs sleeping together!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Farmer Almanac Forecast: Cold Winter
Southeast Coast: "November through March will be a bit colder and drier than normal." Northern Great Plains: "Expect substantial variations this winter. Temperatures will be cold in the east." New England: "Winter will be two to three degrees colder than normal, on average." Southern Great Lakes: "Winter will be cold, with temperatures three degrees below normal, on average." Not only do we expect colder than normal temperatures ... but there is significant reason to believe the "Clack Drought of '04" will be intense. The likes we have not experienced for over a year! Clack will be scarce between now and mid-October when a brief period of activity in Charlotte and Raleigh should provide some relief. Conditions will persist until mid-November when a week of flurried activity should provide us with further relief. However, after that point, it is anyone's guess.
A Christmas Tour!!!
Did we mention that we have the same birthday??
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