Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2007-02-24
9:10 p.m.

Goodbye Crooky Toof

to the tune of "Candle in the Wind"
by Elton John and Bernie Taupin,
lovingly rewritten by Julie

Goodbye, Crooky Toof
Though I never felt you at all
I had the dream of caressing you
But it seems you�ve been recalled
I bawled out of my eyeballs
And I whispered and cussed your name
I put you on a pedestal
And searched for someone to blame

And it seems to me, you looked just fine
Like the toofies that I�ve got
And I figured you were forever
But I...guess you�re not
And I would have liked to have known you
And your imperfect-ness
The one flaw that Clay had was gone
He�s perfect now, I guess

Valentine�s was rough
I loved Clay in his Jimmy Kimmel tee
Kreativv created a super shirt
(with a K and with two Vs)
Saw you standing straight
Like your neighbors left and right
Distracting me all through the song
And the whole rest of the night

Cuz it seemed to me, that Clay�s a guy
Who�d be okay with a tooth
That got love for being different
(Just like him, in truth)
And I would have liked to have told him
They shouldn�t be so white
Unless he wants to guide some ships
To harbor late at night

Goodbye, Crooky Toof
Though I never felt you at all
I had the dream of caressing you
But it seems you�ve been recalled
Goodbye, Crooky Toof
From a fan who misses you more than she knew
Who saw you as something more than incisor
More than just something that chews

And it seems to be a touchy subject
With Clay�s fans, both pro and con
(Even though we all adore him
More than Elton John)
That you�ve been replaced with something
So shiny, bright, and new...
Some say the new toof�s better
But my love is still with you

-- Julie, who has always known she doesn�t speak for everyone, about this or any other topic

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