2004-07-05
12:50 a.m.

A Capitol Fourth: Yankee Doodle Dandy

Fireworks held no allure for us.

We were waiting to see a real firecracker of a performer brighter than any roman candle.

A tall, lanky man full of talent and charm who sang his way into our hearts.

An all-around entertainer who'd come to us on our televisions, graced the Broadway stage, and now would shine in our nation's capitol. We waited with great anticipation.

And then, there he was.

No, not him! Although Mr. Barry Bostwick did look mighty fine strutting his stuff in that periwinkle zoot suit. (Note: We formally apologize for all the times we may have called Emcee Clay cheesey. We did not know true cheese until tonight. That was some primo limburger on the part of Mr. Bostwick.)

No, it was not Barry we wanted to see.

Nor poor Robin Gibb, that lone Bee in sore need of his Gees.

Nor Vince Gill and Amy Grant (although Odin did display a profound and somewhat disturbing fascination for Vince and an inexplicable antipathy toward dear sweet Amy).

Nor the flag twirlers. Nor Yolanda Adams. (Now if Yolanda Adams had twirled a flag...)

No, THIS is the man we wanted to see.

A patriot.

A performer.

A hot stud.

A real monument.

Hmmm, that monument reminds us of something.

What could it be?

Oh.

Yea.

Okay, moving right along.

He just makes us feel so, um, patriotic.

And proud to be American.

--Capped by Wendy in Fl