Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2004-10-19
9:11 a.m.

Fall Foliage Festival

Leaf-peeping is nearing its pique, er peak. The Sugar Maypole, er sugar maple, and mighty aik/oak are gearing up for one last show of glory before shedding those stage dressings for a bare-bones au naturel look for the coming season of harvest and hearth fires.

[Cue woodsmoke]

To celebrate this upcoming event, Shieldmaiden-Sweater for Aiken (Aren't we all...) uh, I mean Sweater-Girl for Aiken is debuting the result of her long labor...

No mass-market product of commercial manufacture, this baby was organically homemade with love and a 14-inch set (Okay, a special tool for twisting was used in addition to the single-point needle set) plus a variable yarn (now thin, now thick, but always with a good "hand") in a shade officially declared "wheat" a/k/a the Staff of Life (but looking for all the world like a natural vanilla) entwined with bronzey, strawberryish, gingery and coppery threads (plus a few well-shed 3-foot-long curly golden hairs too, but that's my affair...) [Some call the hairy bits rayon, but others prefer the Chinese pronunciation 'Lay-on', and you know the wisdom of the Chinese is lengendary.]

**A yarn called "Wendy ARAN" in "print" -- a shade of vanilla sprinkled with Twister! dots -- was top pick, but there just wasn't enough on hand to satisfy demand, i.e., not enough to cover the length of the torso, though it did remain the driving inspiration**

This graphic composition includes bendy panels of Celtic knotwork/fretwork (Chart C) bordered as are all other panels by TTTL -- Tucked To The Left -- cables (Chart B), and the Staff of Life again puts in an appearance in the form of a wheaty braid (Chart D for some reason) sandwiched between those iniqui-er ubiquitous TTTL cables, and a broad central panel of an upraised aiken/oaken branch with fig-oops! um leaves and nuts (Chart Eeeee!). As always, these raised emblems are displayed on a bed of reverse stockinette.

With just a teaser of Chart A added on the sides, that covers the torso...but no upper limbs. Those parts have a "saddleshoulder" design and replace the bendy C's with a much expanded version of basketcase-- er basketweave 'A' ribbing for your pleasure. All is topped by a Staff of Life cable around the neck in a modified bateau shape.

The offspring of much sweating, grunting, growling (and occasionally swearing), and skilled hands driven by love of unique and beautiful "wearables" *wink*, this home-birthed newborn will be treasured for years to come, imperfections included. ***Ahem*** It seems the young'un already has a good grasp of the art of handling the ladies.

This Broadly sweater is an older and experienced Fair-going FameWhore. No, really! (I'd show a picture of the new daddy; but, well, he's on the road most of the time and...well, I'm sure you've seen him. Prob'ly came to a town near you...)

Disclaimer: If the description and photos don't seem to match on color, details, it's because a previously reliable camera allowed its batter to go into a permanent swoon--the light-meter needle was stuck in the highest position--leaving me searching for the optimal aperture. Did I adjust the shutter speed? Who knows. Every ding-dang picture of the young'un has that stripey exposure at the bottom, but it didn't occur on earlier frames. (The uh, "private" photo came from a flashable trashable. *teehee*, *wink*) The slightly rumpled appearance is a mystery too... Oh, yeah, some chick named Julie-something actually designed the sweater. (And the purple one's a Canadian design, but don't tell them. Shhh...)

Virgin and less experienced needleworkers may opt for a skinny scarf of the new Twister! dotty-nubbed " Fancy Fur" in the autumnal-looking "Jungle Print". (It's from Lion Brand, not tiger, but hey! we can't win 'em all.) Just be sure to increase the width suggested on the label and use two balls for extra length. The needle size is 13, *smile*, but I don't know what you'd need to crochet. Happy hooking! Or knitting.


Written By: Shieldmaiden


Posted By: Wendy in FL ...

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