Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2005-01-30
8:30 p.m.

Five Weeks

Based on 'One Week'
by Bare Naked Ladies
Rewritten with lecherously loving intent by Nelle

My apologies for sneaking in an extra syllable here and there...just, run with it..this might work better if you have the cd or mp3 of One Week playing while reading

It's been five weeks since you sang to me
Sat on the stool and said "Have yourself a Merry"
Thirty days since you waved at me saying
"Happy New Year from me and Mickey Dee"
Twenty-some days since you leaned on the chair
Licked your lips and gazed into that camera
Yesterday, wanted you with me
But it'll still be two weeks till you're on my TV

Hold on now and watch the man wink
As he naps we stop, think
You'll think you're looking at a Soul Man
He summons cheese to the dish, although it's like a gourmet brie
I like the cutie
face that brings a Broad to her knees
Hot like wasabe when he sings verse
I empty my purse
Because he's all about value
Clive Davis gives the mad hits
Clay's got a quick wit, we try to keep up but he talks fast
Gonna take a break and take his nap
Prolly in his Burberry cap
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see Clay's show, cause we all know
This Rock!Star! is gonna grow
Cause he's so dangerous,
You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're sexy when you're good
Trying hard not to moan though any Broad would
I'm the kind of fan who puddles when you wear white
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my lust on my face
I have a history of naming all your ties

It's been 15 weeks since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
And sang, "survived you"
Three months since you sang Kyrie
I've still got the vids of 12 shows to see
Seven weeks since Atlanta afternoon
You filled out those fine black pants
Sight to make a Broad swoon
Yesterday, wanted you with me
And now I sit back and wait till you're on my TV

Chickity Colonel the KF chicken
He wants his chicken or he gets all pissy
Watchin Clack-files tryin to not pout
We're in the Clack drought
Hope the driving move's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Think Clay, think tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Spotlightlover I make mad vids
Okay, I don't make vids
But if I did Clay'd be the reason why
Gonna get a frame for ticket stubs
Gonna watch him play a geek on Scrubs
Just so my Clack supply won't be missing a single thing
Gotta get a chance to see Clay soon
'Cause the cartoon net got Clay's bouncy lipbite self
That makes me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're sexy when you're good
Trying hard not to moan though any Broad would
I'm the kind of fan who puddles when you wear white
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my lust on my face
I have a history of naming all your ties

It's been nine weeks since you looked at me
Held your arms at your sides
Wore the purple tie
Eight days since I laughed at you and said
You just do often what I don't expect from you
Two years since I first saw you
I've idealized your rise to fame
But what could I do?
Yesterday, wanted you with me
Cause I still sit here and wait till you're on my TV

I'll still wait two weeks till you're on my TV
I'll still wait two weeks till you're on my TV

Still sit here and wait till you're on my TV


Oh, you know I'm not going to stop there...here it goes, again, with pictures...try to keep up...
oh, and enjoy the alternate multiple ending


"Five Weeks"


It's been five weeks since you sang to me
Sat on the stool and said "Have yourself a Merry"

Thirty days since you waved at me saying
"Happy New Year from me and Mickey Dee"

Twenty-some days since you leaned on the chair
Licked your lips and gazed into that camera
Yesterday, wanted you with me
But it'll still be two weeks till you're on my TV

Hold on now and watch the man wink
As he naps we stop, think
You'll think you're looking at a Soul Man
He summons cheese to the dish, although it's like a gourmet brie
I like the cutie
face that brings a Broad to her knees
Hot like wasabe when he sings verse
I empty my purse
Because he's all about value

Clive Davis gives the mad hits
Clay's got a quick wit, we try to keep up but he talks fast
Gonna take a break and take his nap
Prolly in his Burberry cap
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see Clay's show, cause we all know
This Rock!Star! is gonna grow
Cause he's so dangerous,
You'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're sexy when you're good
Trying hard not to moan though any Broad would
I'm the kind of fan who puddles when you wear white

Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my lust on my face
I have a history of naming all your ties

It's been 15 weeks since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
And sang, "survived you"
Three months since you sang Kyrie
I've still got the vids of 12 shows to see

Seven weeks since Atlanta afternoon
You filled out those fine black pants
Sight to make a Broad swoon
Yesterday, wanted you with me
And now I sit here and wait till you're on my TV

Chickity Colonel the KF chicken
He wants his chicken or he gets all pissy
Watchin Clack-files tryin to not pout
We're in the Clack drought
Hope the driving move's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Think Clay, think tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Spotlightlover I make mad vids
Okay, I don't make vids
But if I did Clay'd be the reason why
Gonna get a frame for ticket stubs

Gonna watch Clay play a geek on Scrubs
Just so my Clack supply won't be missing a single thing
Gotta get a chance to see Clay soon
'Cause the Cartoon Net got Clay's bouncy lipbite self
That makes me think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're sexy when you're good
Trying hard not to moan though any Broad would
I'm the kind of fan who puddles when you wear white

Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my lust on my face
I have a history of naming all your ties

It's been nine weeks since you looked at me
Held your arms at your sides
Wore the purple tie
Eight days since I laughed at you and said
You just do often what I don't expect from you

Two years since I first saw you
I've idealized your rise to fame
But what could I do?
Yesterday, wanted you with me
Cause I still sit and wait till you're on my TV


I'll still wait two weeks till you're on my TV
I'll still wait two weeks till you're on my TV

Still sit here and wait for my live concert DVD


Nelle

With thanks to Karen Eh for the lyrical and rhythmic assistance, and especially for confirming that "Clay'd" is a very good word

Thanks to Wendy for for shopping the ticket frame and for holding my hand when I thought my head was going to explode

Thanks to the wonderful gatherers of Clack, including Permaswooned, Spotlightlover, DanieP80, Grammas for Clay, Invisible926, The Heidis, and any who I'm not able to identify


Thanks to Clay Aiken for everything!

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