2005-11-29
7:09 p.m.

Happy 27th Birthday, Clay!!

Okay, enough of that.

But it's Clay's birthday again, and dangit, the Broads love a party.

We had a terrific time last year, and we're pretty sure Clay did, too.

Oh yeah, he dug it.

And we were gentle with him, too. He showed no signs of injury during the JNT last year. In fact, everything in that department looked ship-shape!

(I woulda said "on the up-and-up", but I know how y'all are...)

In fact, I'd say that wearing the now-legendary Pants of Perfection was a big ol' thank you for last year's LBFCA birthday party. Maybe even a hint as to what he wanted for his 27th?

So I kept a watchful eye throughout the year for clues. In primatology, it's called "presenting" when an animal�uh�declares intent through...um...physical...uhh...positioning of...okay, if he makes sure we look at his ass...oh, you know what I'm saying.

Well, looky there...it's a Yuletide Badonkadonk. Even under a bulky sweater, it appears to call out to us.

Early in 2005, he spent a lot of time doing charitable work. Like his UNICEF trip to Banda Aceh, for example.

Funny thing is, although he was clearly busy with other really important stuff, part of him seemed desperate to get our attention.

Even a month or so later, at the BAF tree-planting event, it happened again.

Dang.

Somehow Clay got perkier the more humanitarian work he did. If there was ever a reason for him to do more...

Suddenly it was summer, and Clay went on Good Morning America to promote his next tour.

Nice pants. Secret message received.

The Jukebox Tour got underway, and once again Broads were lured by the siren's song...

Ass. Huh! Good God, y'all.

(What is it good for? Definitely spanking!)

And then before we knew it, Christmastime was here. Okay, it was still November, but Clay made it feel like Christmas.

I decided to ask him, since his birthday was fast approaching, if I'd been getting the correct signals all year...did he want what I thought he wanted for his 27th birthday?

He said, and I quote, "I wanted to do something different this year."

Ohhh. Uh-huh. I get ya. *wink*

-- Julie, with giggling-but-sincere apologies to Sammy Cahn and Edwin Starr