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2005-02-15
Scrubbing the Leaky Cow
(Our Broadly 4-Camera Sitcom) Setting: The Double O Ranch Cast: Wendy, the Ranch Cook; Kat, the Ranch Seamstress; Kenny, the New Guy. (Scene 1) Kat: Hey Cooky, who's that new guy you got working in the kitchen? Wendy: That's Kenny. Kenny: Hi, Ahm Kenny. Kat: He reminds me of someone Wendy: Opie? Kat: Well, yes. But someone else. Picture him without the smock. *both stare* Wendy: I see what you mean. Kat: Can we keep him? Wendy: He's only making a guest appearance while the Stallion is on hiatus. It's a small part. Kat: That doesn't look like a small part to me. *both stare, lower* Kat: Can we keep him? Wendy: *still staring* Okay. (Scene 2) Wendy: Kenny, how are you liking it here at the Double O? Kenny: I'm as happy as a kitten chasing a leaky cow. Wendy: Good. You're doing a great job. Any problems? Kenny: Well, there is the cat hair. I have to pick it off everything. You don't have *whispers* cats around here, do you? *Kat and Wendy look around nervously* *sound of screeching cat being shoved in drawer* Kat: No. No cats. *brushes orange fur off Kenny's smock with one hand while holding drawer firmly shut with other* Kenny: God bless ya. God bless ya. *turns and walks away* *both stare* Kat: Wendy, we HAVE to keep him. (laugh track) (Scene 3) Kat: Wendy, why am I sewing this suit again? Wendy: I know Kenny looks HOT in that smock, but, you said it yourself, he reminds us of you know who. If we dress him up in a nice suit... *goes back to blowing up purple and orange balloons to decorate the Ranch* Kat: But what about the hair? The flat hair is all kinds of sexy, but it's not like His. Wendy: Leave the hair to me. *gets out egg beater* (laugh track) (Scene 4)
Kat: Oh, isn't he lovely!?! Wendy: Lovely. Kat: OMG ... did you see what he did to that microphone stand? Wendy: We are definitely keeping his a$$! I'll eat hair if I have to. (Scene 5) Kat: Life in a sitcom is so great, isn't it Wendy? Wendy: It sure is. Especially with A Very Special Guest Star. Kat: Very special indeed. Do you think he'll notice that the scripts have been changing? Wendy: You mean how he's not doing much food service anymore, but lots of Broad service? Kenny: Coming, Nelle! Wendy: Kenny, don't forget Pam's expecting you at 3:00. Kenny: Ah know, ah know. And then Paula in the Lou. *mutters under breath* These Broads are insatiable. The episodes never end. Kat: Yep, we're keeping him. by the Wentynka (aka Wendy and Katynka) blog comments powered by Disqus |