2006-10-26
9:09 a.m.

Meanwhile Back at The Ranch

As the Clay Nation frets and worries....

With no blogs and no appearances.....

As teeth are gnashed, and hands are wrung, and the young begin to look appetizing.

In the midst of mind-numbing numbers.....HDD reports, Soundscan rankings, conspiracy theories, laundry lists of grievances, and things that smell worse than dirty show socks.

There is a place where none of that matters. Where wrangling over position can mean only one of two things....your place in line is one of them and the other.....well......some stuff is just kind of personal, don't you think?

Anyway, it just got us thinking how truly lucky we are to have a special place, like the Double-O Wild BEVR Ranch because we know how much Clay loves to come here and when everyone else is worried and upset, we know what's really going on behind the scenes......well......okay......behind the barn, at least.

This isn't to say that His Daily Double isn't important to us. It is! It's just that Her Daily Double is also just as important......luckily, Clay is a kind and considerate wild BEVR tamer and as skillful as any ranch hand could ever be.

Sometimes, like any good cowboy who ventures forth into the city does, he gets the call....to go back to the place that raises him......where he can rest his head in the four-poster bunkhouse for a night or two and recharge those batteries. Yessiree......all that singing and texting can wear even the strongest man and his cell phone out........so he answers the call and goes back to the Ranch.

* * * * * * *

Early October

Broads in Unison: Hi, Cabana Boy! Where you been? We miiiissssedd you......

Clay: Hi gurrlls!! Its great to be back!! But how did I get to be Cabana Boy when you know I can't even swim and won't go within 30 feet of the water!

Lewd: Well, it's got more to do with that big umbrella of yours and pitchin' tents on the beach, than it has to do with the ocean, Clay.

Suzy P: Can we play I Surrender this time? Can we, huh?

Clay: Did I leave any t-shirts here when I left? 'Cos I don't happen to be wearin' one at the moment.

Jennifer takes herself out of the game when she faints.

Rachel: Here's one Clay! Cookie Wendy found it behind the stove a few months ago.

Clay: Well, we can play one game but I've got a busy month ahead and I can't hang out here with y'all as long as I'd like.

Janet: Can't we play two games of I Surrender? You know that Mitzy is gong to tickle you ...right....there. (Janet grabs a handful of fabric and lifts up his shirt) She's going to surrender before the rest of us even get a chance to play.

****Clay giggles and everyone else......pouts***

Clay: Okay...okay.....twist my arm and I might play twice? *wink*

Jannet: *giggles* Just your arm? Will you play three games if we twist something else?

* * * * * * * * * *

In the Middle of October.....

Broads in Unison: Claaaaaayyy!!!! Where ya' going, Clay?????

Clay: Look, it's halfway through October and I'm still here. Don'tcha think someone's probably missing me by now.

Martyalice: No one will ever miss you like we will, Clay....and besides Katynka wants to play I Surrender again.

Clay: No! Really! I have to get back, honest! I'll be back as soon as I can and I'll wear a t-shirt next time. Five of them even .....so we can get in more games without having to start all over each time.

Broads in Unison: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! No Clay! We'll find another game for next time. No more t-shirts!

Nelle: You can't go yet, Clay. We haven't played Pin the Tie yet!

Clay: Hmmm......I'm not so sure about that game anymore.....

Joy: Huh? Whaddya mean, Clay? That's a great game!

Clay: Yeah, but not everyone of you follows the rules.

Shieldmaiden: Rules, Clay? Let's see....the rules say....One Post Per Hour....um.....so far, that rule's been followed.

Betsy: To the letter!

special K: Yeah...the letter "O"

Broads in Unison: ***giggle***

CaroleZ: And they say that we can't say anything mean about you.....and we'd NEVER do THAT!

Clay: Well what about the time someone used their ties to....well....tie me up......and I don't think that's the kind of pinned I'm supposed to be!

Broads in Unison: (with Fingers Crossed Behind Backs): Awwww, Clay......we'd NEVER do THAT, either!

Clay: And then, instead of Pin the Tie on Clay, the game becomes another game of I Surrender 'coss you start doing things to me when I'm all tied up!. And we've been playing THAT game for two weeks now!

Lisa M: But you like it when we bring out the ties, Clay. You said so! You always say, "make them tighter?� And if we don't tie them in the first place, how can we tighten them?

Clay: **Groans**

Broads in Unison: See, we told you so!

* * * * * * * * *

Later in October......and Still in the Four-Poster Bunkhouse:

Clay: You Broads would tell me if I'm missing something important, right?

Broads in Unison: Of course we would, Clay!

Jinx: In fact we think something really big's going to be coming up soon!

Broads in Unison: **Clap hands and giggle.**

Clay: Okay, gurrls, really, this time ah'm going.... But I promise I'll be back. And I'll bring you more ties and we can think up some new games.....Don't tell anyone.....but I pinched a few gadgets from Martha's kitchen last month....

OH Cindy: Oooh! Clay, that was naughty but still.......a very good thing.

Nelle: Shall we let him go, Broads?

Clay: I have to share the love, gurrls......

amy e: Will you make sure we get Clack?

Clay: I promise, you'll get some really good clack.....if you untie these ties and let me get going.

The Broads oblige and when the last knot is untied Clay gathers his things from under the sofas and over the lampshades, and prepares to leave the Ranch. They know he'll be back. They know when the numbness leaves his hands he'll be able to blog again. As he makes his way toward the gate, he stops and tips his hat to say "So long for now."

A few hankies come out and dab gently at the corners of a few eyes......They'd meant to burn that sweater vest before he left......

**Sniff**

Filly: "Goodbye, Clay....."

Kelly: "Goodbye, Clay......"

pam: "Goodbye, Clay...."

cha cha: "Good...buh...heavens! He's leaving with his shoes untied!

Broads in Unison: CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!!

*****

Written by Jill & Karen Eh?
Photoshopped by Lewd and Karen Eh?
Screencap from video by SLC.

Posted by Nelle