Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2006-04-01
12:50 a.m.

Puritanical Prudes for Clay Aiken!

If you came to this page looking for the Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken, they're not here anymore.

This is now the site for the Puritanical Prudes for Clay Aiken, or the PPFCA.

Yes, the fans formerly known as Broads have sworn off our lechery and taken a vow to have only pure thoughts about Clay Aiken.

If you would like to become a Puritanical Prude for Clay Aiken too, just recite the following oath along with us.

*****

We, the Puritanical Prudes, will never again have lecherous thoughts about Clay Aiken.

We will no longer zoom in on photographs or draw arrows pointing to various anatomical features.

We will not lick our screens.

We will no longer refer to Clay Aiken as our Strawberry Stallion, Sugar Britches, Buttercup, or His Royal Hotness. We will refer to him only as our "Angel of Purity and Light."

We will no longer mention walls, doors, fences, or gardens unless we're doing actual yardwork.

We will no longer hang mistletoe from our tiaras, crowns, deelybobbers, or Clay's belt buckle.

We will no longer try to time our own releases simultaneous to the release of Clay's upcoming CD.

We will no longer screw on our tiaras so tightly that we find a conn.ec.shun every time Clay buys a new tie.

Nelle: What?

We will never ever even imagine Waldo anymore.

Nelle: Erin? Lisa? Where are you two going?

We will only post non-lechery-inducing photos of Clay.

Nelle: Can you think of any?
Karen Eh: No.
Nelle: Me neither. Let's change that to "No photos of Clay."

We will no longer unwind with a rousing round of naked twister and blue waldos at the end of a long hard day.

We will no longer turn into puddles of goo with every note that passes from those shell-pink lips or every glance he shoots from his laser-greens.

Nelle: Pam, was that a moan I heard? Careful now.

We will stop using fabric softener lest it makes us think of the downy ball.

We will no longer dream of touching the curls at his neck.

Lila: *sob*

No more lusting after leather.

Lila: *wails*

We will no longer glance longingly at the red hair dyes at the grocery.

We will no longer celebrate the wondrousness of Clay's various body parts by objectifying each in turn, from the top of his sun-kissed head, to the bottom of his size 13 � feet.

Our eyes will only look above the neck (but not directly at the neck itself).

Katynka: No looking at his feet?

Jill: Definitely not. Unless they're pointed weird. But we can look at his a$$, because he gave us a picture of that himself, but only in an art appreciation way.

Katynka: Like Sister Wendy?

Wendy in Fl: Did someone call?

MGM Pat: *running into room* You have to see the pictures I just posted in the PhotoGB!

*stampede of Broads...er, Prudes,...running out of room*

Ladies! Come back here! We were just about to have tea and discuss Clay's excellent use of punctuation!

***

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

--Written by Jill, Pam, and Katynka

--Photoshops by Katynka

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