2006-01-24
8:14 p.m.

Puppy Love

It's about time the truth finally came out. These celebrities with their weird sex lives who think they can just pretend to be normal and fool everybody need to be stopped. Especially the ones who claim to be such nice guys.

A source (pictured above) has told me that American Idol wunderkind Clay Aiken is involved in a relationship. His new "girlfriend" is someone he's been parading around in front of his fans for years, but they just can't see the truth. Those clueless fans of his are in total denial when it comes to his love life. I'm sure they'll overlook the undeniable evidence and continue on living in their pathetic fantasy worlds.

Yes, it's true. Just like I've always said. Clay Aiken is into dogs.

He's even hinted at it himself, in interviews that are easily accessible to the general public, such as this telling moment from The Standard, a Canadian TV show.

AND I QUOTE:
"This...this right here is my girlfriend right now. Probably more behaved."

He's barely tried to hide it. He might say in interviews that he likes humans, but we've never seen him date a human. Usually he dodges the question altogether. But he doesn't need to say what everybody already knows. The dude's a known pooch smoocher.

Here are some pictures my source has sent to me, saying that they are readily available on the internet and occasionally on television. These photos clearly show an undeniably close relationship with a dog who lives in his house and is reportedly moving with him to his new home in North Carolina. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!

Here's an early shoot where the photographer's dog posed with him.

And then, before you could say "I'm gonna get me some kibbles and bits", they were totally making out.

Hello!! That picture was published in Entertainment Weekly! Did nobody notice?!

And then Clay made sure to take part in a Vanity Fair photoshoot (a publication that has long been known for promoting alternative lifestyles) where several dogs posed with members of the American Idol team...

...only to get some one-on-one time with his pick of the litter later on.

And do I need to remind everyone of his public statements about not being a cat person? All the evidence has been there for his fans to see all along, but they're blind to it.

At least the story is finally being told. He can't hide any more. He's a slut for mutts.

A new photo has just been delivered to me from another reliable source.

Holy crap. I don't even want to comment about THAT.

-- Julie, who knows real journalism when she sees it, and isn't afraid to scoop a little poop