2005-02-24
12:30 a.m.

Project Runway

Heidi: Designers, ziss veek your challenge is to ... Jay? Austin? Vy are you vearing your mail carrier uniforms? Vee are done viz zat challenge.

Jay: Oh, we know. We just like them. The shorts are comfortable.

Austin: And these chapeaux are tres chic.

Jay: Besides, it drives Wendy insane, and we hate her.

Hiedi: All right zen. As I vas saying, ziss veek your challenge is to design a new look for a multi-platinum recording artist, Clay Aiken. *models and designers all squeal* Velcome, Clay.

Clay: Hi, I'm Clay Aiken.. *waves to designers*

Heidi: Ziss veek vee have a twist. Sorry, models, vee don't need you for ziss challenge because Clay Aiken vill be modeling all the outfits himself. Models, you may leave the runway. Morgan, you may leave. Morgan. MORGAN! Zee-curity!!!! *Jerome hauls off Morganza as she sobs and laughs hysterically*

Later, back at Parsons...

Tim: All right, designers, let's bring in this week's guest. Mr. Aiken?

Clay: Hi everyone.

Tim: Before we get started, do we have any questions for Mr. Aiken?

Robert: Clay, left or right?

Clay: What?

Robert: You know *looks down* ...Left? *looks to right*... or Right? *looks to left*

*everyone looks*

Clay: Ohhhh *blushes* Tim, do they really need to know that?

Tim: Yes, Clay, they do if they're going to make you a suit.

Clay: Okay, I'll tell you, but don't let my fans know. I like to keep 'em guessing. *whispers into Tim's ear*

Tim: Very good. Designers, you have 1 hour to discuss your designs with Mr. Aiken and to measure him.

Vanessa: *drops pencil* We get to measure him?

Tim: Of course you need to measure him...one at a time! Starr! Nora! Kara Saun! Please, give Mr. Aiken some air! Alexandra, I don't believe you need to measure that! That's enough. Back to your stations. I will measure Mr. Aiken.

Later...

Tim: Designers, you have 20 minutes. Wendy*, what is that inconceivable jacket?

Wendy: Okaaay, I'm a mother, you know. And I think, since his mother is such a big influence on him, that it would be appropriate to represent her in my design.

Tim: And?

Wendy: She's worked as an interior design consultant, so I was inspired by drapery and upholstery when I saw this paisley fabric, and�

Tim: Oh, now I remember. It's my grandmother's couch. It's awful. Do you think he'd actually perform in a hideous paisley jacket? Lose it or go the @$#*@ home. How are you still here, anyway? *walks away* Carry on, everyone! Make it work!

Later, on the runway...

Heidi: Designers, the judges have seen your designs. You represent the best and the worst. KaraSaun, let's start with you.

Nina: He definitely looks good in stripes. I know that much. Otherwise...I think I might be speechless.

Michael: Mmmm, stripes. I wrote in my notes, "cinnamon stick." Yummy!.

Michael: This is a very well-tailored suit, Kevin. Especially the cut of the pants. Lots of puddling.

Nina: Oh, I'm sorry about that. I was hoping you wouldn't notice. *shifts uncomfortably in her chair*

�

Heidi: Daniel, what ees zees outfit? What have you done?

Daniel: Well, see, I kinda told him to wear the stuff he came in with, you know, 'cause he obviously likes stuff like that. Yeah�I really didn't put much thought into it.

Michael: *glancing at Clay* Isn't it a little cold for clam-digging? Nice ankles, but it's not helping.

Daniel: *looks past camera at the producers* I'm out, aren't I?

Heidi: Jay, zat is your design from Challenge 8. Vy are you dressing Clay Aiken in a postal carrier uniform?

Jay: It looked so good on Austin, I thought I'd just let Clay wear it too.

Nina: This is just outrageous. You really need to get out of this mode, Austin. I mean, don't you think that's a little�costume-y?

Austin: Okay, I understand. But�have you ever seen a man look better in a sparkly gown? Well, other than me, of course. And look, he's got the little Cher hair flip down!

Michael: I'm underwhelmed.

Austin: *under breath* I knew I should have gone with the corn husk suit....

Heidi: Designers, vee have made our decision. Clay, you are een. Zee rest of you are oot. auf Wiedersehen!

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by Project Runway Fanatics, Katynka and Julie

Congratulations, Jay!

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