2003-03-20
7:28 p.m.

MANIFESTO

Are you ready for the unholy terror that is.....

WHEREAS, it is our goal to provide competent, objective, and innuendo-laden analysis of all future performances by Clay Aiken, Esq., and to ensure the attainment of a consistent and uniform position of implementing and maintaining a solid fanbase of lecherous broads for said; and

WHEREAS, we have determined that it is in the public interest to reaffirm, unequivocally, the importance of ensuring that Clay Aiken, Esq., takes his rightful place as the next American Idol;

NOW, THEREFORE, I LISA D. McCOLGAN, Charter Member of Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken (LBFCA), by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and by the Statutes of this State, do hereby ORDER and DIRECT:

• that we all think Clay Aiken is the cutest and not just 'cuz he sounds like Rick Astley.
• that nobody is allowed to say anything mean about Clay Aiken 'cuz he's dreamy and he's the boy we all wished had taken us to the prom.
• that Clay Aiken is herewith above all reproach, 'cuz he is, in the words of Associate Lecherous Broad Riatsala, (not pictured) a "delicious little teacozy of a man."