2003-05-07
1:05 p.m.

Bee Gees Recap

Bee Gees Night Recap

Brought to you by Founding Broads Lisa & Paula, who between them own 4 Bee Gees lunchboxes (w/ thermos), and all the Bee Gees albums from �67 onward, including the lesser-known Barry Gibb solo stuff, and a promotional "Guilty" album cover button.

CAVEAT: So as not to invite controversy among the Guestbook Broads, we have decided to forgo commentary on the "Grease" number. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

So, ol� Robin Gibb looks pretty good. Not sure if he�s doing the Rogaine thing, or just has a decent rug, but Barry would do well to follow his lead. Last few times we�ve seen Barry, he�s been sporting a most unnecessary combover.

So, Josh, in an effort to redeem himself in the eyes of the judges � and also to ingratiate himself further with his fah-yuns � took the opportunity to charge into the audience like William "The Refrigerator" Perry during his predictably-countryfied "Jive Talkin�" number. Stomp-stomp-STOMP! Anyone see the resemblance between Josh�s clunky two-steppin� and that of Peter Boyle�s performance as The Monster in "Young Frankenstein"?

Exhibit A:

The judges praised him to the skies, proof positive that if you manage to stay more or less in key and your performance doesn�t outright suck this go-around, you will be hailed as having made a "monster comeback," emphasis on monster. Kudos to the makeup team for managing to somewhat successfully conceal the bolts in his neck and the zipper across his forehead. Next!

Sounded like Kim blew her voice out this week. Hate to say it, but I wouldn�t be at all surprised if she bought herself a ticket home tonight. When you�re struggling to be heard over the cheesey pre-recorded backing vocals, there�s a problem.

Was Paula Abdul always this corny? It�s like she�d be better suited behind the counter at some New Age giftshop in some sleepy resort town. All this talk of spirit dancing and showing vulnerability. She�s become quite the crystal-stroking ginseng sucker this season.

Okay, on to the Important Matters at Hand: Clay in the black suit and the skinny blue tie. I, Lisa, am of the opinion that Young Master Aiken does, in fact, read this site and was personally fulfilling my fantasy of him as my New Wave Hunka Hunka Heartthrob. For this I say THANK YOU, and if next week you could maybe bleach the front of your hair, wear pegged white linen trousers, white espadrilles with no socks, and a straw Panama hat, and come out and sing "The Chauffeur" by Duran Duran, I could die a very happy woman. A very happy woman, indeed.

Discuss.