2003-08-11
3:24 p.m.

BEVR: Wendy in FL/Orlando (edited)

Dang di Ding ...there's a SOC in my BEVR!

After the smorgasbord of delicious BEVRs that have graced the main page here at LBFCA ~ offering my own juicy morsel for public consumption is quite an intimidating task.

Before I get into the meat of my report, Mr. Wendy is begging me to insert his SOC

(Significant Other's Commentary) into my BEVR, so from time to time I will insert a portion of his SOC for everyone's enjoyment...

THE DRIVE FROM HADES

Don't even get me started. THANK GAWD FOR TENACIOUS D!

A ROOM WITH A VIEW

Forgive me, while I pimp the EO Inn (www.eoinn.com) for a moment. If you plan to be in Orlando and want a relaxing Spa experience, you must visit the EO. This glorious

Manicurist: "What are you in town for?"

Wendy in FL: "American Idol Concert. I'm a HUGE Clay fan."

Manicurist: "Oh, my boyfriend loves him... and he's a deathmetal rocker guy... he has long hair and stuff, but he says "Clay was robbed man!" and I say " You're not a rocker, you?re a poser!"

FRIENDS

We visited a friend of mine in Orlando. I had emailed him of my obsession and the reason for our visit and lo and behold if the boy didn't CHECK out Butterbritches to see what all the fuss was about. "You don't REALLY think this guy is good looking do you?" He asked. That's when I told him about the LBFCA. He thinks I'm nuts.

WHEN SHERRY MET WENDY

Bless her heart! She drove all DANG day to get there to see her man and I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HER!!!! Sherry's seat was closer to the middle of the stage and she had a sign. I'll let her share all of that in her BEVR.

PRE SHOW PARKING LOT

Primo spot ~ easy in ~ easy out... hey, that sounds like... never mind.

SOC ~ "This looks more like a PTA convention than a concert... with bad a** suburban preteens?" (That's for you Marie)

BEVR ~ "I don't know if I should take the bear. "

SOC ~ "Why not?"

BEVR ~ "I might look stupid carrying a (homemade Clay's Atlanta Audition) bear into the concert.."

SOC ~ "Wendy. You're HERE aren't you?"

BEVR ~ "HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????"

PRE CONCERT RIG-A-MA-ROLL

Step away from the pop tart wagon ladies and gentlemen - if I WANTED a POP TART, I would have brought my own... thanks anyway.

SOC: "If someone hands me feminine products... I'm outta here.."

I have a problem with THE AI SECURITY STAFF.. (NOT to be confused with Jerome... I didn't see him...) I just had to say that. You blue shirt people ARE NOT the stars of the show and should NOT act like such... with that said, "THANK YOU MR. TD WATERHOUSE ARENA SECURITY MAN FOR TAKING MY BEAR TO CLAY" I LUFF U!

The note attached read: " This is a donation for the BUBEL FOUNDATION from Lecherous Broads everywhere. Please use this as you see fit... Suggestion, autograph and sell on EBAY to raise funds ... I bet a broad would buy it."

JEALOUSY IS A GOOD THING!

I was talking to my neighbor.. she was a nice lady sitting next to me being nice.. suddenly Mr. Wendy says, "Hey, those three women just got backstage passes."

WHAT? WHERE WAS I ??? (Oh yeah, being a good neighbor.)

Not only the ladies with their matching Clay shirts, but also a little girl that I knew from my son's school. She didn't even LIKE Clay and somehow the GODS smiled on her and allowed her grandmother to win passes.

That's just fine.. take your old backstage passes, he's going to look at my signs and fall in love with me... and I swear to all that's holy, for a brief moment ... he did.

SHADOW WALKERS

This is going to sound mean... I don't mean for it to.. it's just the freakin' truth people.

BEVR: Charles is cute.

SOC: Who was Charles?

BEVR: Ricky was good too...

SOC: Yeah, he was good, what did he sing?

BEVR: Julia ... great voice but she has no stage presence.

SOC: Julia's got the best rack... what did she sing?

BEVR: Kimberly is a rocker!

SOC: Okay did she sing UP?

BEVR: Carmen... ah Carmen. I found it especially funny that she was singing "UP" with such fitting lyrics as "I wish that I could grow a beard" "cover up my spots... not play connect the dots... I just wanna disappear" Yeah, that sounds about right, you and ALL the broads!

SOC: Woah! She's supposed to be young and innocent? she wasn't moving like someone who is innocent and she SURE did like getting close to "your man."

BEVR: TRENYCE WAS ON FIRE!!!! Holy smokes... WOW! I was impressed. I did however think that she might possibly turn into WonderWoman when the spinning began and I had to ask Mr. Wendy if he thought I should do the dolphin move with her.

SOC: Trenyce had the best performances of the girls.

BEVR: Kim Locke... she sounds tired and her voice was cracking. (LOVE YA KIM)

SOC: I actually KNOW who she is... and she sounded good, but Trenyce was better.

BEVR: Ruuuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbeennnnn? What the Hairy Heck was that new song about? You need to stick with the big songs, none of this hip-hoppy, gangsta stuff baby!

SOC: Clay was robbed! No seriously, Clay was robbed! No seriously, Ruben is a pretty good sport about all of this. He could be a real jerk if he wanted to and he seems to be pretty content with how things are...

MAIN EVENT

I swear ~ I tried so hard NOT to like anyone else, but the music moved me peeps and I was in CHEESECAKE heaven. I knew every word to every song and proceeded to sing them all and dance and flash signs ~ while making sure that the nice granny lady behind me could still see the stage? I did NOT want to rob anyone of anything (least of all, myself!)

But the concert started for me when that red-haired dreamy boy poked his noggin' up from underneath the stage... GOOD HEAVENS! I was fumbling for the phone to call my friend and trying to keep my eyes peeled on him while he sang... the arena almost went completely silent as the man thrilled us beyond our wildest dreams.

As he was being lowered and Ruben was coming through the doors at the top of the stage, I held up my first sign... LBFCA loves Ruben Too!

I thought this would be something good ~ an olive branch if you will.

I had the sign in front of my face, so I couldn't see anything and I really didn't expect anything from this...

SOC: He was looking at your sign as he was heading down... he was craning his neck to read it...

OH MY GAWD!!!!

IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT CONSTIPATED SONG ONE MORE TIME!!!

BEVR & SOC: Commercials at a concert! Arghhhh!!!

SIGNS, SIGNS WHERE ARE ALL THE SIGNS??

There were signs... small and hard to read but nothing like mine...

I tend to be a bit of a worrier in my RL. I have this defense mechanism that won't allow me to get TOO excited about something because then I'm afraid of being disappointed (and no one likes to be disappointed.) So, although I had asked for the light purple tie ... it really didn't matter once I arrived in Orlando. I was over it. Really, I was. I had a manicure... and when it came time to pick the color of the polish, I chose ... not even realizing it ... a color that matched his dark purple tie PERFECTLY!!!

SOC: Yeah, I pointed that out to her.

My main goals were to get the bear backstage, the T-shirt into his hands... What? I didn't mention the T-Shirt? (Well, I'll get to that... SOON) ... and have my signs read by the boy ( I made three and folded them up and stuffed them in my pants... BRILLIANT ... I LOVE MR. WENDY) ... without further ado...

THIS BROAD IS A TRAMP

PAY ATTENTION !! this is ONE of the good parts?

Okay, they came out for Lady is a tramp and I was in such heaven. The Golden Grasshopper was at my end of the stage and I was loving life. I held the second sign over my head this time so I could see his face.

HOLY SMOKES!

He rolled his eyes and chuckled... then I was so busy staring at his face that I didn't realize that WE WERE IN COMPLETE AND TOTAL EYE CONTACT! He had read my sign and started singing the song to me...

My sign said..

I gave him this little ...Who ME? And he shook his head and gave me the EXACT LOOK I WANTED! Okay, follow me ... his body was facing West, but his Face was facing SE and right into MY EYES!!! (NOT, the ladies with the matching shirts?)

He gave me the EYEBROW lowered smirk look and then after I gave him the "WHO ME?" look, he shook his head and smiled... slyly... singing "AND THAT'S WHY THE LADY IS A TRAMP!!" Oh the joy!

He made a hand motion ... a sort of point/wave thingy and then he had to spin...

I looked at MR. WENDY and our eyes must have been the size of the MOON!!!

SOC: He saw your sign! Are you happy?

The neighbor next to me grabbed my arm and said, "OH WOW!!! He WAS SINGING TO YOU!! That's so cool!"

I then proceeded to jump up and down and SHREEEK with pure delight!

LBFCA TSHIRT

The panties started to fly when it was just Ruben and Clay on stage ... so I had Mr. Wendy tho' the LBFCA TSHIRT onstage... this is not Julie's design ~ that belongs to her and I want her to give him that particular one ~ this one looked like this...

and this...

That's all of our names listed on the back of the shirt... It had a note attached that read,

"This is from Lecherous Broads Everywhere. Keep us close. WE LOVE YOU HONEY!!!!" I signed "Wendy in FL" and listed the web address.

Mr. Wendy overshot a little, but never fear, the boy picked it up and put it into his little pile of panties. They didn't play as much at this concert ... they were keeping to the schedule.

I like to think that he was wearing it under his stripey shirt when he sang INVISIBLE. I like to think THAT and I. Will. Forever. Think. THAT!

POP TARTS -VS- POP TARTS

Kim, Trenyce, Carmen and Julia took the stage and suddenly it was all so clear why Pop Tarts had been the PERFECT choice to sponsor the tour...

SOC: Hey!

CALLING NELLE

I called Nelle several times during the evening and would occasionally say something into the phone... Things like: "HE's SUCH A TEASE!!!" "OMGOMGOMG" "HE's LEAVING SOON AND I'll NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!" and "HE JUST LOOKED AT ME!"

SOC: Spazz...

I COULD FEEL HIS LUERVE LAST NIGHT

He looked at me while he sang -

dressed in black shirt and jeans.

I almost passed out.

ANYTHING BUT INVISIBLE

My final sign was AIKEN FOR THE CLUTCH

and BOY HOWDY was I ever ...

I held it up. Mr. Wendy took pictures for me... he stopped at the very left end of the stage and read it!

Mr. Wendy snapped this picture...

and proceeded to do just that... MY OWN DING DANG PERSONAL CLUTCH! Of which I do NOW have a picture, (thanks to AI2 tour special ... )

Mr. Wendy snapped these for me ...

and this...

and OMG this...

My neighbor once again said, "Oh MY GOSH! He did that for you!"

WORD OF THE DAY... MULTIPLE

As in Multiple Knee Bends, Multiple Clutches, Multiple EYE CONTACT WITH WENDY and MULTIPLE Os. Yes broads/brudes, we shared multiple Os as I was sitting in the center section and CLAY was assigned the "O" portion of "205." There was one O followed by another O followed by about 5 more Os in a row... He luffs me...

SOC: There was a deep knee bend in my face everytime I turned around...

He's even more beautiful in person ... he's so cute and funny and he was YAWNING continuously ...

SOC: He's alright...

Even with the tired, chipmunk sounding voice, he is the sweetest boy on the planet and for about 1 minute last night... he belonged EXCLUSIVELY to Wendy in FL.

SOC: It's true. I thought for sure he was going to take her away.

FIN

-Wendy in FL

-Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."