2003-08-14
7:38 a.m.

BEVR: Robin/Atlanta

Broad's Eye View Report: Robin/Atlanta

My Big Fat Southern BEVR: Ramblings of A Belle Gone Wrong!

By: Lecherous Broad Robin

I got married at 20.

I gave birth at 22 and again at 27.

I saw Clay at 40.

That is it. That is what it all comes down to. The pivotal moments of my life. Those that changed who I was and sculpted who I am. So this means that last night I changed? Yes, it does. I crawled out of bed Saturday morning thinking that it COULD happen and crawled back in bed early Sunday morning knowing that it HAD.

The time was 4:20. I was ready! Red Keds on my feet (with I Love Clay! painted lovingly on each). Red shirt on my sweat drenched body (with LBFCA painted in red and purple on a piece of fabric, pinned on my back) and my sign in hand (YET ANOTHER LBFCA).

I had invited Amber (a LBFCA lurker) to ride down to the concert with me and my son (she was going solo and I just couldn't have that! BROADS UNITE!). I paced through my living room for what seemed like hours! A storm had literally just blown in and I knew Amber was stuck in the downpour. This was the first sign that something HUGE was coming! Finally at 4:45 Amber pulled into the driveway...several screams and hugs later...we were off! I was determined to make up for lost time and slipped through a few (ok, more than a few) red lights, stop signs and various other road deterrents. Amber smiled and said she understood. I mean, this was no time to adhere to ridiculous laws...this was an Emergency Situation! We yammered on about our mutual Clay love/lust the entire drive. Clay's beautiful voice flowing effortlessly from my CD player. My son Max, amazingly enough, in the backseat sleeping soundly (13 years old and not quite sure what he had gotten himself into, but knowing he had best sleep through as much of it as he could, to stay sane!).

As we entered downtown Atlanta, it was apparent that the entire state of Georgia was either going to the AI concert (or as I refer to it "The Clay Concert") or the Falcons football game (what were THESE people thinking?). Traffic was at a standstill. Our second sign. BIG! HUGE! THINGS COMING!!!!! Amber and I begged, ("Can we get over? Will you let us in? Do you want to freak'n DIE?"), for passage through the snarl of planes, trains and automobiles. Finally we spotted the top of the arena and whipped it into a parking garage. Camera, binoculars, sign, big goofy smile, knot in the pit of our stomach. We were ready. We're we going to see Clay! We started walking and let our feet guide us through the masses of people. At this point there was no thought in my head, I just FELT it. I felt it in my heart and in my soul and in my, well, I felt it all over, let's just put it that way!

We walked into the arena. I looked at my watch and realized I was 20 minutes late for what was to be a long anticipated encounter. I was finally going to meet LB Erin!!!!!!!!! But as we stood at the designated site, Erin was nowhere to be seen. Alas, I had missed her. By now my brain was swimming in all the extra bodily fluids flowing from my head to my toes and my heart was beating so fast that I could feel it in my temples. I was sure others could see it pumping through my shirt. I tried not to get discouraged and made my way through the droves of people determined to find Erin. Oh look, Broads in red shirts with red shoes. "Are you Erin?" I asked, big goofy smile again plastered to my face. No Erin. Lots of red though! Clay's fans were definitely represent'n baby tonight!

It then occurred to me that I had brought my son along! "MOM, can we EAT now!!!!!!" Back to reality! We stood in line trying to decide what sounded good. Neither Amber nor I could eat, we were both just too nervous. I handed Max money and in a flash he was gone. Right at that moment I saw her. A beautiful young Broad in a red shirt was making her way towards me. We both smiled! I knew it was her...LECHEROUS BROAD ERIN!!!!!! Screams, hugs and fits of delight! We had found each other! It was like seeing a long lost friend! And, I guess that is what it was! People looked at us as if we had just stripped in public! Did they not understand what had just transpired????? This was Erin! I had shared my inner most thoughts with her for over 6 months and now we were together! Life was good! Erin introduces her cutie pie sister and I introduce Max and Amber. As we stood there beaming in Clay love, a lady comes up and says she has seen our site and knows who we are! Smiles were never bigger, Broads were never more proud!

With only 30 minutes left until Clay time, we determined a meeting place for after the show and parted ways. I knew where Erin and Amber would be sitting and had hopes of seeing them once we all found our seats. The arena is massive and the stage was centered in all it's glory just waiting to bestow Clay upon us. Again, my heart was racing and this time I felt as though it may actually stop mid-beat. Looking across the way I spotted her! Erin! We held up our LB sign for each other with LB pride and screamed! The crowd again stared at us, the crazy Broads! We loved it!

Waiting, waiting, waiting...then the lights dim. My God, this was it. I held my breath, I was too scared that I would run out it before I saw him and just die. I closed my eyes and savored the moment.

Blah, blah, blah. Randy Jackson, blah, blah. Then one by one they came, in the order they had left the show. They each brought with them their own personality, the good, the bad and the ugly!

Charles was cute and energetic but Ricky was adorable! Hey, I always liked him!

Kimber-me, well, Max enjoyed her! I looked over at him and was slapped in the face by flying testosterone. The kid was dripping in it. Hopefully that will subside and be replaced by fully functioning brain cells... Not that my boy isn't smart! But still...

Julia, well she was better than I had expected, and she is a veryattractive girl. Carmen, she does nothing for me but again, Max was tripping over his adolescent tongue. Trenyce did her excellent version of Proud Mary and had more dynamism than all the others thus far. The girl can move her skinny a**, I'll say that.

And so I watched and I listened but I wasn't really THERE until K-Lo came out. She sang Inseparable. My God! Her voice is like butter. It is smooth and sultry. She is beyond beautiful and so deserving of a spectacular career. I would pay to see her perform solo, that is what I think of Ms. Locke!

Then it happened. CLAY came next...and so did I!

I tried so hard to remember every detail but now all I can conjure in my mind is his stunning face. The moment I saw him I knew nothing would ever be the same again! Black suit, dark purple tie. I jumped to my feet to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. The audience went wild. I am sure that downtown Atlanta felt a vibration move across the entire city and right into the suburbs. I am betting that whoever held that ball at the football game, fumbled! 3 ladies in front of me were yelling Clay's name and I looked at them affectionately, my people! When Clay began to sing, Robin began to cry! I did not care who saw me and I never raised a hand to wipe a single tear. They trickled down my face and dropped onto my red shirt. TITN is such a perfect song. It was THE NIGHT! Then, knee bends here & knee bends there, it was glorious! When the song was over, he spoke. That to me was just as incredible. Hearing him talk, like we were his friends that had just popped in to listen to him go over a few lyrics. Then I look up and it's Erin's big fat LB sign! Yes, it is being shown on the big screen! You can't imagine how lecherous the word LECHEROUS looks until you see it in huge red letters, spread across a 20 foot screen in Phillips Arena! Clay seemed to have noticed it too and he is looking out into the audience, at ERIN! I swear he is looking at her! I am going mad at this point and even Max gets caught up in the excitement with me. People around us are screaming at us because they are aware that Erin and her sign are somehow connected to us! (hummm, could it be that we have been yelling at the top of our lungs at each other all night?) Then Max holds up my LB sign! I now have a LDFCA for a son, Lecherous Dude! Tony has another buddy! I am busting with pride!

Clay introduces Ruben and walks away.wait, where are you going? Please don't leave me! FOR GOD'S SAKE, COME BACK!

Rubens sings. I am just numb. I never heard him. My entire body is shaking! What the hell just happened! I saw Clay. I saw Erin's sign! CAN LIFE BE ANY SWEETER!

20 minute break...I yell again for Erin when the lights go up and we wave our signs! I grab on to her fame by the coattail and wiggle with delight! While in line to get a drink, a lady approaches me & asked, "What does THAT stand for?" pointing to my back. She is a Clay fan, and I am thinking, Lady, where the hell have you been? Max smiles, he knows he is in on a really good thing! Again at our seats.another lady inquires. I am happy to hand over the golden ticket, the directions to LBFCA! What else can a Broad do!

Erin & Robin, yelling again! Signs flying! The Broads are in the house! We are making ourselves known! At this point I have yet to see Amber, but I know she is there! HELLO AMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops, they're back! More songs...just a side note here* K-Lo sang Over The Rainbow and held a note for at least 45 minutes! SHE DID HER THANG! I do love her! The duet with Rickey & Julia was really very good.

Then Clay and the boys come out all in white and sing TLIAT. Clay looks like an angel in white and I am having devilish thoughts in red! Ruben comes out and the casual banter starts. Ruben need not waste his time, we all know how gets the girl! They start singing TGIM, panties are flying in the air, mine are stuck to my ass, dripping like an ice cream cone in mid-July! (Oh, did I say that! Well, it is my one and only BEVR).

More songs, blah, blah, blah. Then Clay comes out and sings CYFTLT! This is sheer perfection! He is in a black shirt and jeans, and I want to take him home with me! He stops at the last word of the song, walks across the stage and finishes, the crowd GOES WILD! This man is amazing!

OK. I know it's a BIG BEVR! Let's wrap it up...

Invisible! Some people think the show is over & start to leave. I stand up and scream INVISIBLE! Drum roll please, or should I say Drool Roll! Here he is in a Thrashers jersey! He looks so F'n good! (have I said that?) Again, Max & I are on our feet. Here come the knee bends and the clutches! (breathe...) I am holding onto Max to keep my balance. Clay knows this is what we are waiting for and he GIVES IT TO US! RIGHT HERE BABY! I am now a changed woman. I witnessed something HUGE! And I could not ask for more, well, yeah I could too. MORE PLEASE!

Well, more Ruben and then they all come out for PTBAA. I cry again because I cry every time I hear this song. I am proud to be an American and proud to be a Lecherous Broad! Concert over...Goodbye Clay!

We make our way back to meet Erin & Amber, still being questioned about LBFCA along the way. Max cuts in with a few comments now because at this point, he wants to be famous too!

I see Erin, her sister & Amber heading our way. Erin is holding her big fat LB sign and again we are screaming! As we stand there, several women from other boards stop and ask about LB. Erin has floated to the top of the ceiling and I grab her leg & try to pull her down. We tell all these gals from other boards not to be dis'n the Broads. (we know they are jealous!) They all seem to love our baby, so they are ok in our book. We yammer on about the Power of Clay! Erin tells me about meeting Theresa and I am so happy for her! I meet Erin's grandmother and her mother and the circle is complete. We exchange hugs and I know that we will see each other again., SOON! Note* Erin, her sister, her mother and grandmother are all adorable women and I was thrilled to be in their presence.

Amber (a great Broad herself) Max and I head back to the car. I notice Amber and I are now 10 inches above the ground. Gravity has no effect when Clay is involved! The street is humming with the excitement of the night. I have the same goofy grin on my face only this time it wraps around my head. I experienced something so spectacular and I shared it with my son. I met friends that will forever be a part of my life. Could you fell the love tonight? Why yes, you could!

Robin

-Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."