Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-08-28
10:03 p.m.

The Sailboat Song

The Sailboat Song
(to the tune of a familiar TV theme...no, not American Idol! How can you rewrite the brilliance of "Oh woh woh"?)

Now sit right back and you�ll hear a tale
A tale of a lusty dame
Who came to LBFCA
With passions all a-flame

Her sights were set on that Aiken boy
And a part that she held dear
She'd heard that he was rather blessed
Not unlike a gondolier
(that's right, a gondolier!)

The Broads were talking 'bout a pic
That they'd found on the net
She gazed upon it long and hard
But could she see it? Nyet!
(disappointed, you bet!)

And still they talked about this thing
They called by many names�
Like package...and Waldo too
Or sometimes the "big ass sock"
The jackhammer
Hidden dragon or footlong
Or the Gigantic...(I am NOT saying that! You can�t make me!)

It felt like one of those "Magic Eyes"
Where everyone could see
A sailboat springing from the page
The size of Tennessee

Our Broad tried relaxing her eyes
But it was to no avail
She could not see that dang sailboat
The Holiest of Grails

She did not doubt the existence of
This thing that made her stare
The size, the shape, the girth, the gait
But give up? Au contraire!

So, this was the fate of our helpless Broad
Who stared for a long long while
She couldn't�what? What's this? Hello!
Do I detect a smile? ;o)

-- lyrics by Julie, who thought she saw a sailboat once, but she wasn't sure (and thanks to Kevin Smith's Mallrats for the inspiration!)

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