The Sailboat Song (to the tune of a familiar TV theme...no, not American Idol! How can you rewrite the brilliance of "Oh woh woh"?)
Now sit right back and you�ll hear a tale A tale of a lusty dame Who came to LBFCA With passions all a-flame
Her sights were set on that Aiken boy And a part that she held dear She'd heard that he was rather blessed Not unlike a gondolier (that's right, a gondolier!)
The Broads were talking 'bout a pic That they'd found on the net She gazed upon it long and hard But could she see it? Nyet! (disappointed, you bet!)
And still they talked about this thing They called by many names� Like package...and Waldo too Or sometimes the "big ass sock" The jackhammer Hidden dragon or footlong Or the Gigantic...(I am NOT saying that! You can�t make me!)
It felt like one of those "Magic Eyes" Where everyone could see A sailboat springing from the page The size of Tennessee
Our Broad tried relaxing her eyes But it was to no avail She could not see that dang sailboat The Holiest of Grails
She did not doubt the existence of This thing that made her stare The size, the shape, the girth, the gait But give up? Au contraire!
So, this was the fate of our helpless Broad Who stared for a long long while She couldn't�what? What's this? Hello! Do I detect a smile? ;o)
-- lyrics by Julie, who thought she saw a sailboat once, but she wasn't sure (and thanks to Kevin Smith's Mallrats for the inspiration!)