Lecherous Broads For Clay Aiken!
Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!


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2003-08-29
1:41 p.m.

BEVR: SilverGirl/Seattle

Broad's Eye View Report: SilverGirl/Seattle

SilverGirl's Seattle BEVR (a/k/a Clay Gets Laid)

Rather than give you a lengthy pre-show warm up, I know my Broads want the meat, so I'll get to the goods post-haste.

First of all, I have to say that Seattle Clay fans are rabid. I saw Buttercup's name scrawled in glitter on the seats of pre-teen girls' jeans, spelled out in sequins on buxom chests, written on hair bands, red feather boas, and covering just about every conceivable body part on women young and old. I felt almost inadequate in my red shirt, red shoes, and red glow bracelet, especially given I had lucked into 8th row seats (thank you Auntie Penny).

Little Charles opened the show and was really much better than I had remembered. He energized the crowd and really set the tone for the whole show. I was suitably impressed. Julia followed and... well... sort of put everyone to sleep. She received the least applause of the Idols. Ricky had a big ol' rock in his ear the size of a dime that kept catching the light. I suppose it says something that I remember his jewelry more than I remember his performance. I was impressed with KimberMe. She is quite the performer and her voice didn't sound nearly as rough as it did on AI.

Then we have Carmen. Dear, sweet Carmen. The powers that be are really playing up her youth and have dressed the poor girl in pink and white topped off by a Chrissie Snow hair doo. The disconcerting thing about Carmen is that though she is dressed like a little girl, she shakes what her mama gave her. A lot. If the other girls wiggled their asses, she did it more. Let's just say if this music thing doesn't pan out, she's got a future as a stripper. It was really sort of icky given how they dressed her. However, she exuded energy and actually lacked any trace of "goateling." Country is definitely her genre and I actually believe she is one of the ten who will make it after the tour is over. I am sure she will have legions of older, mature, male fans. (shudder).

Trenyce ROCKED the house. She is freaking amazing. Long, scary fingers and her resemblance to Ruth Pointer aside, she kept everyone on their feet and was completely engaging.

Kimberly Locke. I adore Kimberly Locke. She is beautiful, classy, works it for the curvy girls, and has an amazing, hot, powerful, sultry voice. I so hope she sees a lot of success. This broad would not blame OBC one bit if he were interested in being more than "just friends" with KLo. However, as entranced as I was, I could not help but sit there and think "Clay is coming! Clay is coming! Clay is coming!" Then suddenly, he was there.

I can't remember being this excited about seeing a guy rise from dry ice since "Return of the Jedi." The noise around me was deafening. The screams were so piercing that my head was literally vibrating. Hands shaking, I took a shaky photo but then remembered some wise words about not being too focused on taking photos because "a moment can vanish so fast." I swayed, I clapped, I screamed, I sang along. In short, this somewhat reserved 32 year old acted like she was 14 again. He looked in person pretty much like I expected. I remember thinking he needed a hair cut.

One of my favorite moments in the concert was the introduction of the band. Air guitar and drums aside, Clay seemed somewhat bored during this portion of the show and was taking this moment to survey his legion of fans. It was one of the rare moments where he didn't seem "on" and it was such a pleasure to see him so interested in who was in the crowd.

(At this moment, I suppose you are wondering about the getting laid part of my story. Wait no more.)

During "The Girl is Mine," audience members began flinging various items on the stage. Rather than seeing red undies, several plush toy items made their way to the stage as did a solitary lei made of what looked to be pieces of red and white folded paper. Ruben grabbed his teddy and Clayton put on his lei. And yes, our snarky, wicked, tall drink of water said as he departed from the stage "So what? I got laid!" which was immediately followed by a trademark giggle. Ding-dang good!

The concert was sort of a blur. With every passing Clayton appearance, my squeals became more vigorous. By the time he hit the stage and began "Invisible," I was insane. I had waited for this moment ever since I viewed the St. Louis video. Donning a Mariners jersey (go M's!), OBC shimmied, tugged, yanked, bounced, and ran all over the stage. And let me tell you, there was a whole lot of EFing going on. That said, I noticed that he was not quite as energetic as I had seen in the videos. I had noticed earlier in the evening that he seemed to be limping and later learned about the tales of an allergic reaction and twisted ankle. Still, it was an unforgettable performance.

At concert's end, I limped out of the arena completely spent. I think Clay has anesthetic properties because I quickly realized that my new red shoes had given me some incredible blisters, I was quickly losing my voice, and I was quite deaf. I was so sweaty that my pants had grown three sizes and my hair was damp. Thankfully, my hearing has almost fully returned and the blisters are bearable. It was worth every single bit of pain and suffering to breathe the same air as the clutching crooner.

So, when does the solo tour start?

SilverGirl


-Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."

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