2003-08-31
8:13 p.m.

BEVR: Heather/Seattle

ADVENTURES FROM SEATTLE

Before tickets even went on sale, my friend KA and I had made arrangements to go to the concert together. She is a big Clay fan and I knew we would have a great time together. I want to officially nominate her as an honorary Broad, you will see why later in the BEVR. My concert preparations started early. In fact, just getting the tickets I wanted was an ebay extravaganza. Went through three sets before I hit the jackpot with ROW 2!!! As you know I also volunteered to take on the task of the creating the "Broads Continued Shirt." It turned out fantastic, white shirt with purple lettering. I had such a great time getting emails from Broads for their names and "placement" of their names.

In case you can't make it out in the pics, the back says, "The wittiest, most clever fans in the United Nations of Clay....continued from the Orlando shirt." And "We love you Clay! Come visit us, we don't bite!!" and under that "(unless you ask)"

In addition to the names and messages on the front and back I added a little surprise question for Claybaby on the lower, inside of the front, you know, where the Clock is located. I hope he stops by to answer sometime. HeeHee.

Through the emails I received for the Tshirt, I "met" Broad Michelle from Hawaii (aka Clockwatcher). Through our emails we devised a plan to deflower Clay. When two broads (and Honorary Broad KA) get together there is no stopping us.

Michelle overnights us our special package (No Wendy not that kind of package) and a note for Clay with donation to Bubel/Aiken Foundation. The morning of the concert was agony. I had both my assistant and receptionist trying to call radio stations for backstage passes the last few days with no luck. They think that I have totally lost it, but I figured, power in numbers. I even called a radio station and told them I would make a large donation to their charity (Children's Hospital) to get some passes. They said that it was too late, but that if I had called earlier when they had more passes they would have accepted it (file in brain for solo tour). I am bummed, but this will turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

I can't think, I have butterflies in my stomach. I WILL SEE CLAY TODAY IN THE FLESH!!! I kept just going over my list: Surprise gifts... check, Card and donation from Michelle...check, Tshirt....check, Camera....check, CD for signing....check, Manicure....check, Sharpie....check

Well, now it is time to get ready. I put on a red shirt with a DEEP V-neck. I hear Ruben is a boob guy and figure this can't hurt in our chances to get backstage. Ride the ferry to Seattle and meet up with concert buddy KA. It is 4:00 pm and we decide to get dinner and drinks. We go to a small pub nearby where we meet some other Clay fans. KA and I begin a serious discussion. We have four missions, #1 Get Michelle's letter to Clay, #2 Get Broad Tshirt onstage, #3 Get special package onstage, #4 WE MUST GET BACKSTAGE!!!!!!!!! These are not missions for the squeamish or cowardly. We decide we need some liquid courage in the form of tequila shots. We stop at the liquor store for mini rums which KA cleverly hides in her bra. We can't leave our seats during the concert for a cocktail, we will spike our cokes. We are now ready........................

We enter the arena. No problem getting our special gifts or the Tshirt in past security. We proceed to our FABULOUS SEATS, did I say we were in the second row???? Once there I tell KA that we have to get Michelle's card to Clay. We look for Jerome, but he is not there. Someone tells us the Clay was in the hospital today. WHAT?!?!? OMG is he ok??? We must get backstage to nurse him back to health.

Right then and there, KA gets up and heads to the right side of the stage, says hello to the security guards, and walks BACKSTAGE. I have no idea what she is doing, but of course am right on her tail. We manage to get backstage and are walking around trying to find Baby. We are stopped by a lady security guard, "Can I help you ladies?" Oh no, I am thinking, we're getting kicked out before the concert even starts. KA comes up with a semi-plausible story for the supervisor of security for the tour. He is very nice, and agrees to deliver Michelle's letter to Clay. TA DA......Mission #1 accomplished.

We leave the backstage area to get programs. Then, back to our second row seats. The concert starts. I won't review the other performers. They all sounded fine to me, but when I think of FINE only one image comes to mind. Clay rising through the smoke, his beautiful voice. OMG OMG, it's really him, he's an actual person and he is SOOOOOOOOO CLOSE!!!! I frantically dial up Michelle. I can't hear if anyone answers, try again. TITN was just fantastic!!! The crowd was going nuts! He looked so good and was wearing the dark purple tie. Clay didn't move around a lot and no deep knee bends, but that's ok. Just seeing him in the flesh was enough. Then the best part. He comes over right in front of us. I let out a huge scream. The kind I have heard described as a full body scream. It was definitely an O experience (the guy in front of me turns and gives me a dirty look) Clay points to me and I get an EF!!!!!!!! I can die a happy woman!!!!! I LOVE YOU CLAY!

The second half was great and is how Michelle, KA and I became famous Broads. (Not as famous as Erin, but we made the Seattle PI) Ok, so the special package I have been talking about were FRESH ORCHID LEI, purple and white, which Michelle sent direct from Hawaii. They were gorgeous, see for yourself....

When Ruben and Clay came out for TGIM I knew our time had come. Mission #2 and #3 were upon us! When they were talking I threw up the lei with the greenery. It hit the edge of that stage and then fell off. OH NOOOOOOO!!! A security guard grabbed it and I asked if he could pop up there for me. The nasty man said, "No, you are not allowed to throw things at the performers." He had no idea what he had just done. He crossed a Broad! In defiance, I next threw the tshirt which made it made it easily to the stage, Mission #2 accomplished. But alas, Clay did not pick it up. However, it was grabbed up later by stagehands and taken backstage.

Now KA takes the second lei, and throws it up to the stage............IT HITS CLAY!!!!!!!!! He picks it up and puts it on!!!!! He and Ruben kind of fight over it, but Clay wins :) Take that stupid security guard! It looks so glorious with his white suit.

Clay says, "I guess I can say I got lei'd in Seattle." Did you hear that? CLAY LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO MICHELLE AND HEATHER!!!!! A threesome!!!!! OMG the Broads first Clay lay!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mission #3 accomplished!!!!

See.....

Because KA and I are so good by now at making the stage and to further piss of the stupid security guard, we ask everyone around us if they want us to throw anything for them. We end up throwing someone's teddy bear for Ruben. It hits him too and he picks it up.

We are famous, read the last two paragraphs. READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!

The rest of the concert is a blur for me. I was so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clay wore a Mariner's jersey for Invisible, which was a good choice. Seattle is Mariner crazy! He did not tuck it in at all so there were no Waldo hunts to be had. He did 2 jersey tugs, but no deep knee bends. Poor baby Clay!!!! His leg must have gotten worse, as the night moved on as his limp got more noticeable.

I am so proud of Clay for going on stage and performing for us even when he was in so much pain. He was so incredible. The voice did not suffer. I am amazed at his dedication to his fans. It makes Clay even more special and SEXY!!!!

Ok, back to the adventure. The concert is over and we still have Mission #4. KA works her magic again. We just walk backstage by the side of the stage and act like we're supposed to be there. We are back with the roadies as they are breaking down the stage. I have to go to the bathroom, while I'm gone KA meets up with Julia and Kimberly Caldwell. She gets both their autographs for both of us. When I come out they are there and we ask if they and any of the other idols (We really want only Clay, but we will accommodate the others) want to come out with us for drinks. "We'd love to show you around Seattle." Julia and Kim say yes, but Carmen arrives and reminds them that they are leaving immediately for Portland. OH NO!! Well, Carmen begins to explain that her grandparents were there tonight and she can't find them. She is almost in tears. The other girls say that they are probably in the room with the fans who had backstage passes. We volunteer to carry her bags and try to find the room. (Now this is the room where all the people are relegated to if you get a backstage pass. We had free run of the whole place. Forget the stupid pass, all I needed was my fast-talking KA!!!!!!) With both KA and I carrying her bags we head with Carmen to find the fan room. OMG OMG I hope Clay is there. "No," Carmen says he is not feeling well and went straight to lie down. I tell Carmen to let him know we hope he feels better soon, she says she'll pass it along. Once in the fan room we meet Carmen's grandparents and she thanks us for our help. Rickey, Trenyce and Charles are signing autographs which we get. They are all very nice. I talked to Rickey for a long time. He is one of the gentlest people.

Mission #4 accomplished!!!!! It is time for them to leave so we are escorted out with all of the other fans with "official backstage passes."

Although we did not meet Clay I still had a fantastic time. I was happy to hear he was missing things in order to rest! We need him well for Nelle in CA!

We ride the ferry home and I give Broad Michelle another call to fill her in on all of our adventure. What a time we had!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heather

P.S. When the solo tour comes around I will be bringing KA, she can probably talk her way into getting all the Broads backstage!!!!!!!!!

-Note from Nelle: You, too, can participate in the LBFCA Summer Series, and have your Broad's Eye View Report, or, for any other Brude's out there, your Summary of Clay, about Clay's Summer Concert Tour on the LBFCA Main Page. Just send it to Nelle via email, and she'll post it ASAP. (If you are a lurker, or otherwise wish to remain anonymous, just let me know that in your email). Don't worry about your BEVR not being the same size or looking the same as anyone elses. Here at LBFCA we celebrate diversity. Every BEVR is unique. This is your personal experience of witnessing what Katynka so gloriously described as "a little hockey-jersey-clutchin,' white-leather-wearin,' DTTR revealin,' mic-flickin,' thigh-strokin,' eye-f***ing, smokin,' jokin,' singin,' hunk-o-burnin' libido."