2003-09-04
8:36 p.m.

BEVR: Clutch City Erin B/Houston

Clay Aiken Rocks My World

... And Then Some

Foreward: I apologize for the lateness of my BEVR. BEVRs can be such particular entities, can't they? But truth be told, I chickened out and drove poor Nelle insane changing my mind. First I said, "Take my BEVR, please!" Then I said, "No! Stop my BEVR!" Then the ol' switcharoo a few more times and vacation interrupted my ClayWorship (curse a hotel without an Internet station!) ... but here it is, better late than never. I feel Houston should be represented, as we were a kick-butt crowd. Humble, no. Rockin, yes!

HOUSTON, TEXAS, Y'ALL! 8.20.03

Or, as the Idols kept saying, "H-Town." Clay didn't say it, and for that I'm grateful. We don't call it that around here, that I know of, unless I'm horribly out-of-touch with the in crowd. That wouldn't surprise me, actually.

In anticipation of my date with Clay, I painstakingly prepared a shirt lovingly emblazoned with photos of My Guy, and the phrase "Clay Aiken Rocks My World" on the front in huge gold letters and the now-famous "Welcome to Clutch City, Clay Baby!" on the back. (More on that later.) I made a shirt for my 4-year-old son that said "Future Idol" on the front and "I Like Clay" on the back. (yes, I hear your collective "awwwwwwwwwwwwww ......" He was THAT cute.) We looked like a couple of maniacs. I would never, ever have done something like this without your encouragement. I blame all of you. I thank all of you, honestly ... Without your support (virtual support, but support nonetheless) I would've felt like a lone ClayLover --- until I arrived at the event, of course. More on that later too!

I purchased tickets on the spur of the moment the week prior to the concert, not able to stand the thought of being within 100 miles of His Wondrousness and missing out on the excitement. So I threw financial sense to the wind, pulled up Ticketmaster and lo and behold, very fine and dandy seats were available for me, my son and our other three guests. We had to take my son's father, whom I will refer to from this point forward as BD (short for babydaddy) and his other two children, an 11-year-old boy and 9-year-old girl.

So I have a different perspective on the experience, that of a mother who must retain some level of self-control while in the presence of Greatness. (Uh, yeah, right, like self-control was an option ...) When it comes to Baby, there is no self-control. There is no desire for self-control.

We have to wait til the kids get out of school to leave my town, and it's nearly two hours to Houston from here. I'm nearly out of my head when BD and the kids arrive. My son and I had already decorated our car with "Clayniac," "Clay" "I *heart* Clay!" and more. So about 4 p.m. we hit the road. The drive to Houston is full of omens for me, as well. Everyone knows that one of H-Town's (hey, I'm in the Idol spirit today) airports is located on Will CLAYTON Parkway. "WOOHOOOO!" I screech to BD. "CLAYTON!"

I get the oft-utilized eye roll. Hmmph.

Later, BD, brilliant fella that he is, remarks, "It sure is a pretty day. But hot." (Hot? In Texas in August? Are you kidding me?) To which I cleverly retort, "Oh no. That's CLAY HEAT baby. It's coming right at us from Houston! Mmmmmmmm." My seat-wriggle gave him clear indication that I was, in fact, feeling the heat.

Another eye roll. The nerve! Two times per trip is his limit. Watch your step, bucko.

We force the kids to balance McDonald's in their laps in the backseat rather than stop for supper, because no way am I risking being late for my date with The Beautiful One. NO DANG WAY. Hey, I'm a good mom but even I have needs. I need me some Clay. NEED IT. Need him. Did someone say knees? Oh his beautiful knees. Beautiful legs. Beautiful eyelashes. Beautiful lips just begging for a kiss ...

So we get to the Compaq Center ---- must I point out the obvious references to Hard Drives here, folks? --- and we park and we are on our way. I am practically skipping through the parking garage, knowing each step takes me closer to my Bliss.

I hear a few remarks about my fab shirt --- hey, I was strutting it! --- and get my tickets fairly easily at will-call. As I survey the crowd, I see tons of red shirts. Clay fans are in the house! (Well, standing on the sweltering street near the entrance, actually. You get the idea.) Holla!

I'm walking rather stiffly around the Pop Tarts displays, as I have three posterboards stuck in the front of my denim shorts. Such action does, indeed, do wonders for your posture, as a fellow broad pointed out. Turns out, it was all for naught --- no one cared about signs at our event. However, they were checking camera lens size. They checked my bag all right, but not my person. DUH. I could've snuck in a longer lens, but I didn't, and I regret it. I didn't get the super-deluxe pics I wanted and I spent a lot of time snapping away. (I'm a reporter/photographer in RL so I felt compelled .... NEVER AGAIN will I waste those precious seconds when in the Presence of Clayton Aiken. Good advice ... live for the moment, not the moment after the moment.) * End of Public Service Announcement *

So we hit our seats and woohoo! Who's waiting for us but fellow Broad Jenette from Austin, who I met online the week before the concert! She shows me her bitchin' "King Clay" doll and the ultra-cool hankie she made with all our names on it. We detail our "Get-Clay's-Attention" plans. She's got rockin seats on the floor in the third row, I think. She finds another online pal and introduces me. It's Jet from Lake Jackson, y'all! She and hubby scored some floor seats too. Broads are representin! Wooo!!!!!

As we sit through the commercials (my son deemed the Pop Tarts commercial "awesome") I begin to peruse the crowd, noting with pride the sea of red shirts and glow sticks, glow necklaces, glow earrings, glow everything! Clay is well loved in our fair state, and it shows! One bubbly young woman came by to offer us her extra glow-sticks, and we held ours up and gave her the thumbs up.

SHE ROCKED!

I will say that "ROCKED" is going to be the theme of my description of the show. I couldn't think of a better word that night and I have said it dozens and dozens of times since. HOUSTON ROCKED THOSE IDOLS! I would honestly like to know their opinion of our crowd, because --- having read some of the previous BEVRs, (and a few since) it sounded almost as if the crowds had been somewhat uninterested in the other performers, being perhaps polite and clapping momentarily. I gotta tell ya, our fine state REPRESENTED and we cheered every idol on like they were our best pals. (Clay's ovations were beyond that level, of course! We ain't a buncha idiots here!)

I happened to be seated directly behind Kimberly Caldwell's sister (picture Kimberly with honey brown hair and less makeup, quite a knockout!), and many other members of her family. They had "We *heart* Kim C" signs and really rocked out when she came on. (More on these ROCKIN FOLKS later!)

I'm all full of ClayLove, but I don't have much negative to say about any of the other performers. Plenty of THOUGHTS you see, but not much to SAY.

Charles: The guy can dance. I couldn't hear him sing too much (this has been mentioned before ... Sound Guy, pay attention!) And he "H-Town"-ed it up enough for a lifetime. But he was great.

Julia-She sang very well. A knockout too.

Rickey - Always one of my favorites. Loved the kid! He ROCKED! When is his album coming out? I'd buy it. (*Observation from BD: "Rickey sings much better than Ruben." Gotta love BD sometimes.)

Kimberly C- It was her night. I gotta say, she was home in HOUSTON and they loved her there. I rocked out for her, screaming my lungs out with her family and she ate it up. She thanked them all, told a story of a friend she had who died in an accident a few years ago, Jessica, and dedicated the show to her. After her number, she snuck out and sat with her family right in front of us! She was SO COOL. Our little girl was just sitting there, minding her own business, and the ROCKIN FAMILY says something to Kimberly and she leans back, sticks out her hand and shakes our little girl's hand ... too cool. Course, that had its repercussions ... (More on that later, too.)

Carmen - I must admit ... I have had some disdain for this girl since I saw Clay "ALMOST" kiss her on TV that time during their group number. Scripted, set-up, whatever. DO NOT GET TOO CLOSE TO MY BOYFRIEND, SISTER! I'm in my prime, as they say, and you don't mess with a mid-life fantasy, lil girl. But all was forgiven that night (mostly) and she tried her best to wow the crowd. Hard to do on those huge high-heel tennis shoes, methinks. Nuff said.

Trenyce - HOLY COW. That girl can "SANG!" I was awestruck. I know the criticism others have expressed about her doing impersonations but I was really into it. And if I had a body like that I'd go half-naked too. I would! (I don't have a body like that so I don't go half-naked. FYI) *Fervent hopes that Clay is into Rubenesque ladies ... * Zing! I'm in then, baby!

Kimberly Locke - Did very well, too. Nimbly side-stepped a thrown bear just as she was exiting the steps during her number. Made a cute joke about the Idols not having health insurance, then went to find the bear. Those rascal security/stage helpers/hanger-around types had already gotten it off the stage. Give the girl her bear, dudes!

Moving on to Ruben (I am saving the Best for last, of course) - I thoroughly enjoyed Ruben tonight. I have no ill will toward the Big Guy. Never again will I worry about the what-ifs of phone line conspiracies, etc. Bygones are bygones and the guy can definitely sing. Clay says they're pals. So be it.

If Clay says the dude is OK, then ding-dangit he's OK by me too!

Now. For CLAY.

What can I say about him that hasn't been said already? Except that he ROCKED ME DOWN TO THE VERY CORE OF MY BEING. I cannot express to you how possessed I became when he appeared, thrusting up like a God from the depths of that stage. Dark purple tie, pin (I believe it was the Autism Society pin again) and hair askew ... Oh sweet Lord, I thought, what have I done to deserve such glory?

I held up my first sign of the night and began screaming. I have to tell you, I had screamed and hooted and hollered all throughout the previous performers, yet somehow when Clay appeared my screams became deafening. Kim C's family turned around (they're sitting right in front of me, remember?) and smiled. Good Southern Woman that I am, I apologized. I tried to say that I probably wouldn't be able to keep it up much longer --- we're talking atom-splitting screams here --- but they were ROCKIN COOL and one of the guys said, "GO FOR IT!" So I did. I went for it. Went for the screaming with all my might. I quite honestly don't recall hearing much of the song, but I do know it was TITN. I hope I didn't ruin it for everyone around me but I swear I was out of control at that point. I was jumping these little "God Help Me I'm in Ecstacy" jumps and I was trembling so hard I was afraid I'd shake the gold right off my shirt. When Clay finished, I lifted my sign higher, screamed louder, and made it to the BIG SCREEN with my sign! It read: "I WANT JEROME'S JOB!" HA! (I do, really, Clay. Call me!)

As Buttercup strolled around the stage, I saw a familiar-looking object go FLYING up there. It was Jenette's King Clay doll!!! Perfect timing for a HRH gift toss. Boy did that get his attention. He said, and I QUOTE: "Hmm! That's different." Head cocked so adorably to the side, curiosity overcame him and he picked it up. As he lifted it up he said, "Well, at least it isn't underwear." (Or did he say panties? Surely to Heaven if he said panties I would've been overcome by the sheer titillation of CLAY saying the word PANTIES. Note: I am so jealous of you folks in later shows who got to hear the phrase "Crotchless panties" emit from those strawberry lips. Oh the sheer delight of such a phrase ...) He picked it up and the audience goes, "Awwwwwwwwwww ....." Too cute. Way to go, Jenette!!!! You ROCK, girl.

As I rested during intermission, I asked BD what the Kim C. family guy had said to him during one of my screaming moments. He just said the guy said, "Go for it!" and smiled at BD. (Probably a couple of manly eye-rolls were shared, but no mention of that to me.) Clever BD, he replied, "She's never screamed like that for me!" When BD related the story, I regaled him with my famous line .... "Well, you're no Clay Aiken." ZING! He's heard it enough to forgo even the eye roll. I got the head shake instead. Hmmph.

At intermission, (during which my son again celebrated the awesome Pop Tarts commercial) Kim C.'s folks turned and spoke to our kids. They bragged on my little one's shirt, and he told them, "Know who's the greatest singer in the world? Clay!" Probably didn't make the best impression with her family, but they were so ROCKIN COOL about it! Hey, that's my boy!

The rest of the show ....

The group numbers were very cool. Everyone rocked. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I was feeling every single performer out there. Well, almost. No names though. Clay's kindness has inspired me ... If I don't have something nice to say, I won't say anything at all. Least not on this board, hehehehe.

Clay and Ruben came out to do TGIM and panties started a-flyin'. Clay quipped very deadpan at one point, "You're hit ..." and zing! A pair of drawers pelted Ruben in the leg. Oh that Clay. He slays me. They did their usual banter about this being a family show and all, and Clay noted two packages wrapped in brown paper marked "FAMILY FRIENDLY." One had his name and one had Ruben's. They unwrapped them and showed off their new jerseys --- Texas A&M for Clay and UT for Ruben. Clay put his on and ZOWIE.

Makes me wanna be an Aggie. They were ROCKIN' COOL about it and their song was great. All throughout I held up my "Clay! Throw me Yours!" sign. I can't say for sure if he saw it or not, but he didn't throw me his. Ding-dang it. Can't blame a Broad for trying ...

Ruben sang us a new song ... Clay said we were the only other city besides Birmingham to hear this particular one, and that Ruben had picked US because he LOVES Texas so much. And I LOVED Ruben's song! I think it was called "No Ruben" or something ... anyway it ROCKED. I liked it. (NOTE: Having read others' reviews it sounds as if the song is called "Go Ruben" or something and that others didn't like it. But I stand by my original impression. It was a smooth groove, pretty mellow, and a cool lil number.)

But back to CLAY. When he came out to sing Invisible, Clay steps out onstage in a Texas-flag shirt, asks us if we like it (ROAR from the crowd!) and then says ... GET THIS ... "I know I'm in CLUTCH CITY!" and does that "I'm really not as innocent as you think I am" smile and starts to sing. Well I gotta tell ya, I LOST COMPLETE CONTROL of myself then. CLUTCH CITY! Did he read the board? Do his peeps read it? Jerome, if you're reading this, I'm after your job, babycakes. He begins to sing, with that smooth as silk (panties) voice.

(*Note ... I have since been informed, by a fellow Purple Pages person, that I was not, in fact, to be credited with informing HRH of the "Clutch City" designation. Apparently some girl had a poster bearing the phrase --- did she read our board? --- and Clay was tipped off about the phrase and its relation to Houston right before he hit the stage. FYI: It harkens back to the days when our Rockets were winning NBA championships thanks to the super-delicious Robert Horry. Anyhoo --- the person who felt the need to inform me, "thanks." I don't know if you really thought I BELIEVED Clay was hanging on my every word posted on the very fine Purple Pages, but I wasn't.)

Moving along ...

I was near tears. I was screaming the lyrics like a madwoman. About this time, I noticed that my son had begun to cry. Jeez! I was so torn. My son ... or Clay ... my son ... or Clay!? So I sat down, yelled, "What's wrong?" and my son said ---- GET THIS, BROADS ... "I want to shake Clay's hand!" Uh-oh. What's good for the sister is good for the little brother, in kid logic. "Sorry, buddy ..." I tried to soothe him, sneaking a peek at the stage now and again. The ROCKIN CALDWELL family turned to ask what was wrong with little one. As I explained, the supportive "go for it" guy said he would TAKE MY CHILD BACKSTAGE with him. HOLY CRAP! I was in a mad brain-scramble of thoughts about trying to score a pass for myself, when I realized it just wasn't gonna happen --- passes have your name on it and there's no way I could pass for one of those gorgeous Caldwell girls --- so I thanked the guy, told him my son probably wouldn't go anyway (which he wouldn't, not with a stranger, and I wouldn't have let him go alone) so one girl said, "Give me your address. I can have Clay sign a picture and send it to your little boy." ARE YOU KIDDING ME HERE? I whipped out my business card and wrote my son's name and our address on the back. This didn't soothe my little one ... at age 4, he is in the "I-want-it-now" phase ... but boy was I impressed, thankful, and stunned. Goes to show ya what a great state Texas is. And those Caldwell people ROCK!

So little one is a mite calmed down now, and Mommy's rockin out again, holding up my "GOD BLESS CLAY" sign. I imagined then (and now!) that he saw it. He didn't give me the long, hard eye contact so many of you Broads have received, but I believe there was the slightest pause as he glanced my way and I felt (dreamed, imagined, whatever!) that I saw a smile appear, ever-so-briefly. GOD BLESS YOU CLAY!!!! I wanted him so desperately to see that. I planned to save it for the finale but couldn't help myself. I whipped it out early, and I'm glad I did.

(Reading some other BEVRs ... I'm sure that the "God Bless Clay" sign isn't original. But it was heartfelt, and fairly small --- remember, it had to fit in the waistband of my shorts! And I didn't hold it up for an extended period of time. To all concert-goers whom I offended, sorry!)

During the finale I screamed so loudly I thought I would explode. Didn't know I had that much voice left, but ding-dang I did. Of course, you know the lyrics to GBTUSA ... but we here in the South LIVE those lyrics. Especially ... "Across the plains of TEXAS" and "from Detroit down to Houston" ... I don't think those Idols had to sing a word of the song. I'm telling you people, our crowd ROCKED!! I hope we impressed them. I sure tried.

Let me add this SHOCKINGLY ROCKIN NOTE: The Caldwell people asked if I wanted them to take my "GOD BLESS CLAY" sign backstage for Buttercup to sign! I kept thinking, what the HECK? Am I dreaming or what? I hugged them and thanked them profusely. I had bragged on Kim C. throughout the night, screamed for her right along with them, had thanked them for her shaking hands with our girl (even though it resulted in a bit of tears on my son's part) but STILL they went above and beyond in their generous offers to me. I think they'll have Kim C. sign it too. I hope we get them in the mail, my sign and the photo, but if we don't, the joy of their offer is still a memory I will cherish forever. Y'ALL ROCK! (Note: As of today, Sept. 4, I still haven't gotten my items back signed. Oh well, I still have hope!)

A couple more random notes here before I finish up my Tribute to Clay:

� Kimberly C. truly does ROCK, IMHO. Apparently, Rickey didn't get quite the huge reception in Dallas that he deserved. (Rickey goes to school near Dallas, I think.) She explained to us that Rickey was a TEXAS boy, and that WE needed to adopt him. We hooted and hollered and screamed the rafters down for the guy. I think his smile --- huge and beautiful and genuine --- lit up the Compaq Center. What a moment for him, and how cool of Kim C to share the spotlight like that! But WAIT ... she did it again! One of the dancers was apparently from Houston, too. During a group song, I saw her smile and say something to him, then HAND HIM THE MIC! The kid yelled, "Hi Momma!" And Kim C had this huge smile on her face and so did the dancer. (Sorry, I don't remember his name.) She is truly a rockin girl and I was so impressed by her.

� Those flames onstage were HOT. And have they always done the "It's getting hot in here ... So take off all your clothes ... " or did they just add that towards the end of the tour? My hopes were up, up, up! But no such luck. Clay remained clothed. Dang!

� That bass player rocked. The drummer rocked. (BD is a drummer. So it's obligatory that I say the drummer rocked. Heck, BD was manning the digital camera and somehow I end up with photos of the ding-dang drummer!)

� That Clay Aiken can DANCE, man. Don't kid me, bud. I saw it in action. Oh to be a fly on YOUR wall ...

Now ... to finish up about Clay. What can I say? The man has been discussed in-depth repeatedly here, there, and everywhere ... yet there is something I can't quite express eloquently enough. I think we've been so blessed to have him in our lives, dear Broads. There are, indeed, Angels Among Us. I truly thank God for Clay.

There was plenty of Clutching, Deep Knee Bends and Dance Moves to Light You Afire ... but it was his presence that sent me out of my mind. My out-of-body experience was achingly erotic and joyously spiritual all at the same time. Oh for the fleeting moments to last forever ...

The sheer glory of being in the same state, the same town, the same venue as this remarkable man was the highlight of my year. I await with breathless anticipation his solo tour. Please rest up, Angel, and take good care of yourself before heading out to promote your new album. Relax. Rejuvenate. Read our message board! (So there!) And please, please, don't be scared by the freaks out there ... the ones who would stalk and frighten you with their ferocity. Believe me, there are more of us out here who know where the line is, and wouldn't dare cross it ... we admire from afar, support you intensely, and hope you can enjoy our particular brand of admiration without feeling *too* embarrassed. It's all in good fun, Baby. Not good CLEAN fun necessarily, but good fun nonetheless.

I honestly don't remember much detail about his performances at the concert. I regret that. But I simply could not control my mind. I believe the pleasure was so intense that I may have actually been lifted to a higher plane, even momentarily, by the Goodness that is Clay Aiken. GOD BLESS HIM! He truly, madly, deeply ROCKED MY WORLD last night ... and I hope he will remember us fondly .... And come back real soon, y'hear?

Clay Aiken ... You rocked my world in more ways than I could ever, ever tell you.

Clutch City Erin B/Houston