2003-09-09
8:41 p.m.

BEVR: CA Kathy/Anaheim

Broad's Eye View Report: CA Kathy/Anaheim

Impressions from three generations: Kathy - let's just say "over 50"; S - barely 30; D - typical 13

Kathy is the ultra Clay fan here (all right she's been downright obsessed for the past eight months). S and D were Josh Gracin fans but voted for Clay after Josh was voted off (after all, Kathy was pleading and they preferred Clay over Ruben). D is a Broad in Training. She's had supervised visits to the Purple Pages while spending a week this summer with Kathy. She always asks for any Clay news and is familiar with the Clutch, having viewed the OMG Invisible video.

With this in mind, here's what happened in Anaheim.

I CAME... (Wendy, stop that!)

First of all I have to thank the Broads for getting me to that concert. I hadn't planned to go, but after reading all those amazing BEVRs, I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't see Buttercup in his first-ever tour. I'm not the mover and shaker type, so it took some effort for me to make this happen. First I checked Ticketmaster for tickets. Yup, they were available - not great seats, but seats nonetheless. Next I had to get someone to go with me. One of my biggest terrors is driving in LA traffic, so whomever I got to go with me had to drive. I immediately thought of my younger daughter. She's always ready for an adventure; however she has a full-time job in addition to being the mother of my three granddaughters and is exhaustingly busy 24/7. Nonetheless, I called her, proposed that she and D accompany me to the AI2 concert. She absolutely jumped at the chance, but first we had to get son-in-law to agree to babysit the newborn and the rambunctious 3-year-old for approximately nine hours. Not a problem, Hallelujah, I was going to the concert!

I had instructed S and D to wear red in support of Clay, and I wore my LBFCA shirt and red pants. On the way, I asked them both who they were most excited about seeing. D, ever the diplomat, answered Clay and, because she is after all only 13, Carmen. S answered Clay, but I could tell she wasn't THAT excited to see anyone in particular. We arrived in plenty of time, parked and decided to eat at the arena. While waiting for the doors to open, we saw a sea of red, Clay fans of all sizes, shapes and ages. Several people commented on my shirt, most had either heard about the site or had lurked there. I conducted a little Clay tutorial while we were waiting to enter the arena. I explained the references on a couple of shirts - a picture of a Krispy Kr�me donut with the words "Clay Bait" and another with "Life is like a bowl of Vincents." I told them Clay's height, weight, shoe size, birthday, the number of tours they had performed, the number of days they'd been on the road, about the formation of the Bubel-Aiken Foundation, etc., etc., etc. No, Clay did not grab his crotch during Grease. (Don't know where that came from.) S said she felt a little left out because she really wasn't that big a fan. She could see that compared to most of Clay's legion of fans, I wasn't as big a nut as she had thought.

After grabbing a bite to eat, we headed off to find our seats. I knew we were in the nosebleed section but I had no idea how huge this venue was. We climbed up several flights of stairs and found our section. The first sign of trouble came when we walked into the arena, climbed up even higher to our seats and looked down, down, down to the stage, S is afraid of heights. She turned pale - a full-blown panic attack was beginning. Her stomach was churning, she was starting to shake, she broke out in a sweat, she turned around and fled out to the hallway. Oh, no! A chance to see Clay live on the one hand, a panic-stricken daughter on the other. Horrors! What's a mother to do????

S assured me she just needed a little time to adjust. D kept her company while I returned to our seats and dialed Dr. NC's cell phone to see if she'd arrived. I could barely hear her on the phone, but she was there on the floor and actually spotted me two miles up. We waved, and it was a thrill to actually put a face with a LBFCA name. I also got to talk to Mitzy's cell phone, but never quite connected with her.

At that point, D came running in to get me. While S was trying to conquer her panic, a man noticed her red shirt and motioned her over to the window overlooking the parking lot, informing her Clay had just gotten on one of the buses. If he got on, he had to get off, and a crowd was forming. I rushed to the place S was holding for me at the window, whipped out my binoculars (those babies are worth their weight in gold), and waited. Patience is not one of my strongest virtues but I would have waited until eternity to get a glimpse of my Butterbuns in the flesh, even if it was from the upper regions of the Pond. Sure enough, he made his way from the bus to the door of the arena, surrounded by security. In this case, height was my friend because I could actually look down over security and have a clear view of his darling face from my vantage point. Oh, heaven!

S finally calmed down enough to try to enter the arena again. She thought she'd be all right if she took the aisle seat and stayed seated. It worked! What a trooper! The show was about to begin...

I SAW...

Even though our seats were high, they were directly above stage right, and we could see everything but the very back of the stage. With my trusty binoculars, I had a spectacular view whenever the performers turned our way, and my sweetie was most obliging. First of all, I was surprised that I enjoyed seeing the other performers. But I was really only here to see the man, and he never, ever disappoints. The show seemed unusually long because each performer had people they wanted to thank - this being the final performance. Everyone who had anything to do with the tour and their entire family was thanked individually, except maybe the mice on the bus. Maybe there weren't any mice on the bus, and they weren't actually snubbed afterall.

On with the show... Looking down, I could see HRH rising from the depths, through the mist to his clear full-blown glory. TITN was spectacular. That man, that suit, that tie, that song - Wow! Although I couldn't see the his freckles or the famous green of his eyes, I did clearly see the inner and outer beauty of a man with a magnificent instrument absolutely mesmerizing 20,000 people. Also, from my vantage point I saw the full splendor of those huge feet. I swear he could use those dress shoes for water skis.

My binoculars were my new best friend. Through them I connected with my Prince Charming. I know it was probably my imagination, but several times he looked right up, through my binoculars, into my eyes. I swear he saw me, his eyes sparkled, we connected.

The TGIM segment was sweet, I just knew it must have been a broad who threw the socks. His cute little strip tease with the boxers was precious. I loved CYFTLT - it was so appropriate for him. He must have felt all the love his fans were channeling directly to him. The song seemed to have special meaning for him, and he basked in the glow of adoration before the final note and his descent under stage.

The interaction with his friends was fun to witness. I was a little disappointed there wasn't more air instrumentation during the band intros, but he was sitting for most of that segment with KimberMe, Carmen, and Julia. My binoculars were glued on him for the "Take It Off" segment. When KimberMe ripped his shirt open, I actually saw him blush. It was sooooo cute! But damn those white T-shirts anyway. What I wouldn't have given to see that shirt ripped open to copper chest hairs.

Of course Invisible was what I was waiting for all night. I was a tad disappointed that the Mighty Ducks jersey wasn't tucked in front, but after all Mom was in the crowd. His dips and clutches were so sexy, I was dizzy.

At the end of the show, he gave everyone hugs - Julia got an especially long one, I think she was quite emotional by that time. Clay seemed less emotional about the final show than I had thought he would be, but I'm sure he was looking forward to finally spreading his wings and soaring to bigger and better things ,,, and finally getting some sleep.

On the drive home, we decided that we all were impressed with Julia, that we all hated Ruben's CD song, and that Clay was the star. Three generations coming together in agreement, can it get any better?

I CONQUERED ...

I've been obsessed with Clay since the Wild Card show. However, after actually getting to see him in person, I'm ready to begin conquering two important segments of my obsession. First of all, I have a wonderful husband, two intelligent, independent daughters and three beautiful granddaughters. They mean the world to me. I think I have been short-changing them these past few months. They are now back to being my #1 priority. Clay will take a back seat, and I'm sure he would approve. Secondly, I've found myself experiencing a feeling of guilt and betrayal if I enjoy a performer other than Clay. I realize this is downright silly. Once again I'm going to ogle Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro, swoon to Marc Anthony and Kenny Loggins, eye that young actor on OC and that hunk on Big Brother4. Again, I think Clay would agree.

I will still be one of Clay's hugest fans, follow his career with great anticipation, gather any tidbit of information concerning his life, buy his CDs, attend his solo tours, devour the purple pages, proudly perform my duties as French Maid on the ranch and air conductor of the LBFCA air band. And nobody gets my seat on Bus #1.

FINALLY...(Will she ever shut up??)

It took courage for me to write my BEVR because the others have been so eloquent, humorous, lecherous and interesting. But the thing I like most about reading the BEVRs is that each one is so different, written by the unique perspective of a particular broad's RL. If ten broads viewed the exact same concert, each would come away with a completely different experience.

CA Kathy