2003-09-10
9:16 p.m.

BEVR: Karen Eh?/Seattle

Broad's Eye View Report: Karen Eh?/Seattle

A Tale of Two Cities and
13,000 Miles - Part II

Just a Busy Little BEVR:

Last night Nelle sent me to my room and told me to work on my BEVR. I did what she said but unfortunately I got so involved in my research that I never came out to write anything down. In fact, I got it so messed up that I 'm not sure it will ever be fit for presentation. I wondered why she would want me to do such a thing when she has been so concerned that I get this finished. Then it occurred to me.....Duh! She meant for me to work on my report, and I got all confused. I am still so brain dead! A thousand apologies Nelle for being so late......but like I said, I was busy.

Now Where Was I?

When I last left you Broads and Brudes I was just back from the Toronto concert. As soon as my bag was unpacked I knew I would go again. I was not ready to surrender my summer of "Claylove" so quickly. But getting to a second concert was going to be a real stretch of my talents. The Mister and C.D. son were heading off soon to see the their beloved Rollingstones at SARSstock, we had tickets for the Tennis Masters Series in Montreal from August 5th to the 11th and we were attending a conference in Toronto (yeah again) from the 14th to the 17th. (What does B-L-A-C-K-O-U-T spell?).

There had to be a way I could squeeze in another concert. I check the tour schedule, Ticketmaster, ticket brokers, eBay, air fares, ferry schedules, gas prices, mileage and the Rand McNally Road Atlas. I ask the boss for the time off.......hey, that's me! "Sure, you take all the time that you need, honey." I decide to go to Providence. I would have to drive there alone but I did get a decent ticket from Ticketmaster and I had a general idea of how to get there....well, I knew it was south of here like every place else. Mister Karen Eh? would be arriving home from the Stones concert after I left and I would be back just in time to pick up my mother and head out to Montreal. Piece of cake! But I chickened out on my big adventure at the last minute, never having told anyone of my plans in the first place. Did I think I was just gonna leave them a note and steal off into the night? Hmmm.....yup, seemed like the sensible thing to do.

No one knows how close I came to running away that night. I pulled my sorry self back from the brink but could find no solace in the fact that I had acted like the mature, sensible, and generally fine upstanding wife and mother of two that I am in RL. I drive a friggin' white Malibu fercryinoutloud!

Time to formulate Plan B. I have a few free days in late August but that puts me on the west coast.......if I fly to Vancouver and rent a car....how long a drive to Seattle? Crap! The whole trip is over 4,000 miles one way. Check on flights (I have wings now!) Oh, dear....three take-offs and three landings each way. Wow, that's one take-off and landing per Baby solo.....seems reasonable enough. Solo flight, solo performance...what does K-I-S-M-E-T spell? I am meant to make this trip. It is my destiny. I tried to explain my destiny to Mr. Karen Eh?. He has an excellent sense of humor but I am sensing strain here. He agrees to most excellent Plan B but I am feeling the following un-cool vibe..."maybe this will get it out of her system?" Is anyone else familiar with this vibe? I thought so. I offer to go alone but he wants to come to. Did he see Visa bill with one Providence ticket on it? I sure hope I have enough credit limit left for two plane tickets and two concert tickets. I will let him share my room and I will forgo food. I line a colorful assortment of plastic upon the desk:

Passing On the Good News:

I have to tell people we will be out of town for a few days next week. Now it is rare for a Nova Scotian to travel to Seattle just for a holiday and following conversation ensues:

"Oh, where are you going?"........ "Seattle"

"Why Seattle....what's there?"......... "The American Idol Concert"

"Didn't you go see that already?"......... "Uh Huh"

"And you want to go again?"............ "Uh Huh"

"Why would you want to go see that again?....... "It's a form of worship"

"Excuse Me?"......... "Never mind"

Most people thought I was so crazy that it was best not to disturb me any further. Mom was incredulous when I told her, and my employees (all female mind you) entertained me with a variety of grins, smirks, and raised eyebrows. Some "Clayversion" will be on the agenda at the next staff meeting. I did tell them that if I got one more "look" I was going to get my credit limits raised and purchase seventeen Clay Aiken t-shirts at the arena. When I got back I would present them each with a shirt and announce that this was our new uniform effective immediately.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign:

This time I want the full concert experience. I will make signs...signs with wit, charm, humor and creativity. I will keep them short and to the point.

"KAREN WANTS CLAY" "KAREN WANTS CLAY BAD"

"KAREN WANTS BAD CLAY" "CLAY WANTS KAREN"

I spend hours debating what to say. I consult seventeen year old daughter, email Julie and pester hubby. He says I am putting way to much thought into this. True enough, I am a half-hearted sign waver and he knows it.

Next order of business for a full concert experience is something to throw at performers. Well, one performer in particular. But since I have already been to one concert, I feel like I know all the performers. Therefore I want to throw things at them all for various reasons, but due to melting of plastic I can only afford tomatoes and I don't want to throw tomatoes. It's so old fashioned. My alternate plan is to make a little toss when Kim C., Trenyce, and the Object of My Desire are doing that 205 thing. This requires only three presents. I choose some nice wholesome t-shirts from the "Cows" ice cream parlor which have "Amooican Idol" on the front and on the back a picture of three appropriately styled cows with the quote, "honestly, that was udderly horrible" Groans are okay here....but heck this is a family show right?

I also have an idea for a special gift to present to Buttercup. To assuage my disappointment that there were no phone numbers inscribed on the Stanley Cup, I did a little retail therapy at the Hockey Hall of Fame gift shop. There I saw a most bee-ooutiful blue Team USA Hockey jersey and I thought Baby needs one of these as a souvenir of the "American" Idols Tour. Nice idea, but I'll let someone else buy it. When I learned I would see another concert I decided I wanted to give him the jersey after all and found one like it on the internet. I decide that I don't want to put "AIKEN" on the back. All of his jerseys say "AIKEN" and will he ever be able to wear them out to KFC or to play mini-golf? No. Let me think. I Choose L B F C A ... a tribute to all of the "Lecherous Broads" across America who love and support him. You ROCK and deserve to be on the back of a jersey! So I write a letter on the plane to go with it and explain why he's getting this shirt and that I wanted him to keep it and wear it. If he didn't want to wear it I would understand (well, not really) but he should keep it, at the very least, as a conversation piece. Let me tell ya' Broads it was one fine looking jersey and maybe someday someone will get a picture of him wearing it. If we never see it again, I will assume it made nice jammies.

Okay Getting To The Point Here Folks:

The details of flight and drive... sketchy and unimportant. We stay at Best Western, not the Westin this time....paying lip service to frugality. It is Monday and one more sleep till the Clay Aiken Show! Yes!

Tuesday....all of my special "Clay" days are Tuesdays, I ponder this at times. The morning of the concert I am expecting to have to visit the Kurt Kobain Hall of Fame but I'm in luck. Mr. Karen Eh? wants to check out the Pike's Place Market. I am totally fine with that. Buy some stuff.......but forget we no longer get paid in American dollars. Ooops! That afternoon I arrange for delivery of the jersey and get ready to go party!

This time, as part of that full concert experience, I subject the Mister to the Clay fan party at Michelangelo's. I'm not sure who put it on but they were mostly wearing red shirts. They had an auction, and a big card and a cake with Clay's face painted in the icing. I wanted to run a finger through that icing and have a big lick but I controlled myself. They seemed like a real nice bunch of gals and a couple of guys..... also seemed like there were a lot of Canadians there. We Canadian broads sure do get around, don't we?

The Main Event:

Hubby and I are in the exact same spot as we were in Toronto, just one row back. The lady next to me is in red and just about freakin' out because she, "can't believe she is actually gonna see Clay live". The Mister has some major "Claymate" action going on next to him and some ladies he's chummy with behind have Clay faces on sticks. I am armed to the teeth with signs.

The crowd at the Key arena seemed really loud almost louder than Toronto at first. But what I noticed was that while the noise and excitement built at the Air Canada Centre it seemed to peter out at the Key as the night went on. The ACC was darker and I don't know... it just seemed to have more atmosphere. The Toronto crowd, as a whole, seemed more focused.

Enough said about everything else from here on in. Baby (yes, Julie I am partial to that name too) is floating up on his cloud to sing for me again. I am trying cherish this experience because I know it will be the last one for quite a while. I am so happy to be here that I can forgive the a**hole who decides to squeeze his way back to his seat half way through TITN with a plate of nachos in one hand and a soda in the other. AND the next person who came through thirty seconds later! My red shirted seat mate was beside herself at this, as well as the woman in row three who found the chunk of cardboard, made a sign and held it aloft for most of the song. She put it down after someone gave her a good poke in the back.

It was during Clay's first exit from the white suit medleys that I noticed his limp. How I managed to spend half an hour at a Clay party and not hear that he was in the hospital, I don't know. I guess we really don't speak the same language. He looked like it was really hurting him when he thought no one was looking (is that ever?) but he didn't let on during the dance numbers. It got worse as the night went on and you could tell that his leg was stiffening up. (Okay, don't go there... this is the serious part) Say Awwwwwww......not Oooooooooh.

Hearing Baby admit to getting "leid in Seattle" was worth the price of the trip. Thank you Broads Heather and Michelle! I decided not to throw my t-shirts up on the stage after all. I guess I was afraid of beaning somebody and there wasn't a whole lot of play going on anyway. Instead I decide to give them to Jerome. I tried to get Mr. Karen Eh? to take them to Jerome but he wouldn't. I found him by the side of the stage at intermission, got his attention, and gave him the t-shirts and he promised to deliver them. He really is just as nice as everyone says. Hi Jerome, you're a sweetie!

The Best Part: At some point during the show, when Clay was wearing the dark "stripey" shirt, he was standing on the stage in front of me looking out over the crowd. I lifted my hand to shoulder height and gave him a little wave with my fingers. HE SAW ME DO IT AND HE WINKED. I died and went to heaven then, and have only been making brief appearances on earth ever since. Someone left a copy of ELLE magazine at the "Starbucks" here on Cloud Nine. I peeked and was called before a review board to determine whether or not I should be banished to "that other place" for my thoughts. Counsel for the defense argued successfully that the photograph submitted as Exhibit "A" was not only heaven sent, but heaven in itself. It looks like I'm gonna be here for a while.

Everyone knows how it all ends to this point. Where it goes from here, only time will tell. But all will agree, I'm certain, that the summer of 2003 is one we will all remember as one of the best. Many of us did crazy things we never would have considered doing a year ago, and we had so much fun doing them. In this life we find joy and beauty in the most unexpected places. We found it on TV fercryinoutloud! Go figure! Goodnight Broads and Brudes its 6:00am here and I am outta gas. Goodnight Clayton Holmes Aiken, wherever you are, we keep you in our hearts and dreams (yeah....those kinda dreams, too). We are paying down our balances and saving up our air miles. We can't wait to get you alone next year, and here's a WINK....right back at ya' babe!

All my Love, Karen