Broad Wendy in FL
};->
aka Clay's Cookie...
aka Goddess of Lechery...
aka ClaysTramp
(ain't braggin when it's true!)

It all started when I was much younger...
I realized that I had a lecherous mind... I would twist what people said into innuendo and laugh mah butt off about it ... (Possibly a result of watching M*A*S*H for YEARS - no one could deliver innuendo like Hawkeye Pierce!) Somewhere along the way, I put that part of my brain on hold... but guess what???
It's BAAAACCCCKKKK!!!!

During the first season of AI... I turned on the television and there before me were 5 people competing for the title of American Idol...

My first thought was...
"Who are these clowns?"
'Specially that one that bore a striking resemblance to one SideShowBob...
'cept WAY cuter...
love ya Justin...
When Kelly Clarkson took the stage it was unbelievable ... what a voice!!

Being a "Star Search" watcher from back in the day...
and being of the opinion that "if someone thinks they should be famous...
I'll tell them exactly why they should NOT!" ...
I found myself SUCKED IN.

When it was announced that there would be an AI 2...
my first reaction was "NO!"
I knew that there MUST be talented folks out there that didn't make it the first season,
but being the Pop Culture SNOB that I am...
I thought, "Nyet! Won't be the same..."

BEEEEPPP!!!

WRONG!
(...and this is only the first of SEVERAL times that I was wrong... you have no idea how hard that is to admit!)

I started out watching the audition shows for AI 2 and laughed at the poor people who had made their way in front of S***n only to be sliced by his sharp tongue... I have to admit .. in most cases,
I AGREED WITH HIM!

My initial top finishers (reverse order) based on audition were as follows...

5. Bettis ... but he blew it when it should have been his time to shine...
4. Kimberly Caldwell ... She's a rocker and I loved that voice ...
3. Kimberly Locke ... she had a smooth voice and I was impressed ...
2. Ruben Studdard ... Cute, Teddy Bear, smooth voice ...
1. Frenchie Davis ... Absolutely Fabulous!!

Now you're saying...
"Um, 'xcuse me... someone is conspicuously absent from this list..."
WELL, NO SHIZNIT MAH NIZZLES!!

I didn't spot a certain contestant until the wildcard round...
WHERE HAD I BEEN???
To say that when I heard DLTSGDOM I was not immediately SMITTEN
would be a LIE.

Just look at him for gosh sakes!
Here, before me, was this guy that I had never seen...
cute as a bug in a rug and suddenly...
DUDADUDADUM!
"But you misread... my meaning when I met you..."
dudududududedu ...
HOLY FOOTLONGS!
Where did this guy come from?
Then he spoke...
Oh my gawd he's southern...
but more than the song, or the southern accent or the elfin magical face...
For me, it was what happened after they announced that he would be moving on...
When all the others were celebrating onstage, one Clayton Holmes Aiken went
straight to the sidelines to console the contestants that didn't make the finals....
Oh My Heavenly Father!
Voice of an angel, Southern, cute as a bug in a rug AND considerate...
had I died and gone to TV LAND HEAVEN???
... My finger followed him across the tv screen and I declared ...
"THAT IS MY AMERICAN IDOL!"

BEEEP!!

Do not tell me I'm wrong... I'll turn this truck around right now... it's just a title...
HE IS MY AMERICAN IDOL...

I watched each week and with each new song,
each new movement, each new expression ..
I found myself slipping deeper and deeper into the triangle.
I was actually quoted as saying...
"I don't HAVE to look at him..."

BEEEEEP!

WRONG! Again...

Finally, it was too much to take...
I had worked myself into this frenzy that could no longer be contained...
My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were visiting during one of the result shows
and I was jumping up and down and talking to my girlfriend on the phone for 30 solid minutes...
it was nuts!!
I WAS NUTS!!
(okay, okay, I AM NUTS!!)

But just look at him!

I endured a weekly..
" So, did they vote Clay off this week?"
from my non-Clay Fan hubby...
Like clock work each Wednesday night...

I bought "Achin4Aiken" tshirts so my friend and I could have them for the finals
and we sat on the phone during the show like two teenagers talking about the boy of our dreams...

Five minutes after the winner was announced I hung up the phone
and tucked my kids in bed and went to sleep...
Well, that's not true...
I went to bed and thought about how lucky CLAY was ...
no pressure, no title to live up to, he can be himself and sing...
(and after seeing the pics that Annie posted of Ruben singing with Chauncey Matthews... I was right!)
I also thought about how lucky I was to have been introduced to that heavenly voice!

The next day it started...
MUST... FIND... INFORMATION... ABOUT ... THIS ... MAN!!

I had visited several fansites during the show including this funny one called
"Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken"
and I went back for more... I've been here ever since...

Normally rational, logical Wendy in FL

has been replaced by an absolutely IRRATIONAL, ILLOGICAL Goddess of Lechery...

I spend days making witty, cleverly lecherous comments about a 24 year old redhead (with bedhead... or I want his redhead in my bed... FOCUS!) from Raleigh, NC...
Who happened to call me a "tramp" at the concert in Orlando...
It's all in my BEVR ...
I.AM.ClaysTramp!

I lurked consistently for about a week before I lept into the lecherous fray.
I read the archives and the older guestbook entries and the manifesto...
over and over again.

My first post was a GUSHER...
no idea how to do a paragraph,
just babbling about thinking that I was alone out here...
going nuts ... had never done anything like this... needed the info... yada yada yada...
My first front page contribution was
"Seeking Drooling Stone"...
becos gosh knows I was desperately in search of that puppy...
Lots of "thudding" and trying to convince Odin to keep Katynka in the freezer
and send me her copy of the glorious magazine...
But when I found it... Oh the joy!
It was like a peppermint patty commercial.
Suddenly I was standing in the middle of a forest ...
the magazine hovering above me on the wind...

How did I do that?

I posted for nearly a month and then one day I decided to ask for a sign...
Sunday June 29th to be exact...
Whether the boy read my post ...
or the god's shone down upon us ...
He mentioned us on the radio on July 1st...
A mere two days after my GB request.
I was hooked.

I took my place on the Ranch as the surly cook ...
Keepin' varmints outta my workin' space durin' the mister's private meal times became a central focus... git to goin' now... nuthin' ta see here!

I applied for the position of Clay's low maintenance, volunteering girlfriend with a pulse ... would've been a shoe in too 'ceptin there's a Mr. Wendy...
Dagnabbitt!

I LOVED that this was a guestbook and not a forum ...
I LOVED that there was a once an hour posting limit in place and
that the "once an hour limit" was considered a "tradition" even when it wasn't working properly...
I LOVED that innuendo was queen and Clay was our King...
I loved that complete sentences ruled and "he rawks" or "he's kewl" drooled...

I still love all of those things about this site...

But even more than that... in his own way of inspiring people to "think, act and love..." He helped form a community...
It was Founding Members of this "redheaded stepchild" of a site that formed the enormously inspiring Claysbridge.org.
It's members of this site who have helped other members get tickets and upgrade existing tickets and travel together all over the country to see this phenomenon up close and personal...
Members of this site who spend time talking to other members about ideas, organizational plans and future trips ...

We are one big happy family...
The Broad Sista'hood...

Whether it's this boy...

Or this boy...

Or some combination of the two...
We're all in love with CLAYTON HOLMES AIKEN...
Oh yeah and I'm his Tramp...
What? I said that already...
Oh, okay...

Stamp my passport I am a Broad - Wendy in FL
};->

Special thanks to:
www.Jonathonart.com
Uma-Thurman.net
Idolonfox.com
&
i <3 clay
for the lovely pics...