2003-09-19
8:09 p.m.

Welcome to LBFCA and 10 Simple Rules for Newbies, Visitors, and Lurkers (edited 8-7-04)

Welcome to Lecherous Broads for Clay Aiken!

If you've already found your way around LBFCA, and know the ins and outs of our brand of lechery, you might just skim this Main Page. If not, please pay close attention! I am writing this as an Introduction to LBFCA for Visitors, Newbies, and Lurkers. I have attempted to include a few tids and bits that even old-time Broads might enjoy. We are a collective of devoted fans, happily sharing our lechery and love for Clay Aiken.

LBFCA was founded during the American Idol 2 season. More about that later.....this tutorial is to help you find your way around the site. This is not a typical Main Page, there's not much actual lechery in it, but it will teach you how to find the lechery and other delights for which LBFCA is renowned. It will also explain how you, too, can participate. Don't be too impatient, there are several links on this page, that will take you to plenty of more entertaining pages.

If you found us because you read somewhere that we 'talk dirty,' I will caution you that description is a misrepresentation. We talk 'lechery,' with intelligent wit and creative euphemisms. We are neither promoting, nor condoning, graphic descriptions of sexual activities in explicit language. If that's what you're seeking, please continue on your journey.

You are currently reading what we refer to as our "Main Page" (MP). The most recent LBFCA Main Page can always be accessed at http://lbfca.diaryland.com. When the next Main Page replaces it, the current MP will be entered into our Archive, where it will receive a new, individualized url.

At the top of every Main Page, and, listed in the Archive, is the date the MP was posted. See the date of this MP, September 19, 2003, up above the title.

On the left column of every Main Page, you will see several images, most of which function as links.

At the top of the left column, is this photo:

If you are on a Main Page other than the most recent Main Page (as in, one of the pages in the Archive) and you click on that photo, it will take you back to the most recent Main Page. To learn about where that sign came from, take a look here. Pretty cool, huh?

Below Famous Lecherous Broad Erin's sign, is this animated photo:

These are the current MP Broads, surrounding Clay

When LBFCA was first created, that spot on the MP featured this photo:

These are the LBFCA Founding Broads

The photo of the MP Broads works as a link to what we call our Broad Links Page. On the Broad Links Page, you will find several wonders, in the following order:

Our statement that LBFCA is not appropriate for minor children. If you are not yet 18, you've read enough. Bye bye. If you have reached the age of 18, stick around for a good time.

Below that statement, is our list of Main Page Broads. Their names function as links, either to another Main Page, or to their own site, that gives you a little introduction to each of us.

Following that, is our list of "Founding Lechers." I like to call them the Founding Broads, or, FBs. They started this site, and each, in their own time, moved on to other endeavors. To learn more about them, click one each of their names for links to their own sites.

At the top of that list is FB Lisa, the most Honored Lecherous Broad of them all. This site was largely her creation. You can read about the beginning of LBFCA in our Archive, but first, here's where it all started, at Lisa's own Diaryland site: the beginning of LBFCA. (note from Nelle: If you go to FB Lisa's site, and her 'notify list' function is turned on, please do not sign up expecting updates about LBFCA. Her updates are about her site, not LBFCA). Notice the date at the top of that page: March 6, 2003. That was the day after the Wildcard Results Show on American Idol. That's a photo of Clay from just before that era (they dressed him like that for a magazine photo shoot), we call him Glendale Clay.

A week after that, Honored FB Lisa posted her first LBFCA MP. And, the rest is herstory.

Here's a more recent photo of Clay:

That one's from his appearance at the 2003 MDA Telethon.

Ooooooh, speaking of pictures, here's another recent one:

That one first appeared in Entertainment Weekly, but, this enlarged version just showed up online today (note from Nelle...that was in Oct, 2003).....

Ooooooooh, one more:

We enjoy many Broadly theories about what he's waiting for.

Here's one for the 8-7-04 edit of this page:

That's from the Sex Manual II, which is what we call the Tour Program for Clay's 04 Summer/Cummer/Unnggh Tour.

Ok, I got a little distracted there. Back to business.

Continuing down the Broad Links Page, are some links to other Clay Aiken sites, followed by our One Post Per Hour Tradition. Please read this. It will be important when you visit our Guest Book. More about the Guest Book below.

But, first, back to finding the way around a Main Page. Under (or around, sometimes the words move a bit, depending on how small or large you have the text set for the page) the animated photo of the MP Broads with Clayton, are the words 'new,' 'previous,' 'next' and 'archive.' Well, I think you can figure out what words mean....I don't have to explain everything, do I?

Let's focus on the Archive. This is where the gold is at LBFCA! Every single Main Page is stored here, and, our wonderful Queen of Snark, Marie (aka, Danielle), has organized the Archive to make for easy access to all our featured series. She has created wonderful photograph enhanced links along the left column of the Archive pages, to get to each series. Plus, every MP that has not been part of a series, is stored, in chronological order, by month.

I always recommend that Visitors, Newbies and Lurkers spend some time reading the Archive. At least read the first couple months. Discover the standard of clever writing, wit, ClayLove, and innuendo-laden lechery that the FBs established. For the true Lecherous Broads (and Brudes, which is what we call our men folk around here), you need to read the whole Archive. That's right. Every page. I promise you it will be worth the effort. Start at the beginning, and just take it one page at a time.

Now, back to that ding dang Main Page tour.

Below the word 'archive,' in the left column, is the link to this "Welcome to LBFCA and 10 Simple Rules for Visitors, Newbies and Lurkers." Maybe that link is what got you here! After that, is a set of links that look similar to this:

So, next time you stop by LBFCA, you can quickly see what the recent MPs have been, and, catch up as needed.

Beneath those links, is a link to our Manifesto. A must read for any Newbie, Visitor, or Lurker. In future generations Lecherous Broads around the world will probably be required to memorize it. For now, just read it, and understand where we're coming from. No one is allowed to say anything mean about Clay Aiken, and, we tend to be pretty considerate of everyone else, too. Well, almost everyone.

Below the link to our Manifesto, the next link is to our Broads Links Page....look how easy we make this for you! We have two ways for you to get to the Broad Links Page, this link, as well as the photo of our MP Broads, discussed above. We must think it's an important page. Check it out.

Similarly, we think it's very important, so we have an additional link to our disclaimer that LBFCA is not appropriate for minor children. We give you three ways to get to that statement from every MP. We're serious about it.

Then, there's the juiciest link of the Main Page. It says:

I'll show you around the Guest Book in a moment.

First, let me finish up the tour of the Main Page. Sometimes we have a link to vote for Clay, for an award, or some such.

As of the 8-7-04 edit, we have links to our BEVR GB, where Broads post their Broad's Eye View Reports of seeing Clay live.

Below that is a link to The Bubel Aiken Foundation website, which is the foundation Clay started in July 2003 to promote inclusion for children with disabilities.

For now, I'd like to draw your attention to this link:

That will take you to Amazon.com, where you can order Clay Aiken CD's. That icon was 'discovered' for Clay's premiere full-length CD, Measure Of A Man. When it was first listed for pre-order at Amazon, it was listed at "TBD," which some people apparently interpreted to mean To Be Determined, as in, doesn't have a title, yet. But, while we enjoy many LBFCA traditions, we are not traditionalists in the traditional sense. So, we named the CD ourselves. If you want to learn how we found the pictured album cover photo, have fun here: Twister! Broads! Dang!

Then, we have a link to our Broads Birthday List. If you hang around with us awhile, and want to be added to the list, please email MP Broad Lisa or Melissa. In June of 2004 we added a link to our new LBFCA Glossary, created by Frances.

Now, back to that link to our current Guest Book.....

Our Guest Book is where the action takes place at LBFCA, on a daily basis. Nightly, too. We also refer to it as Our Beloved Purple Pages, or PPs. You'll understand why the first time you take a peek. Everyone who can proclaim themselves a Broad, according to the definition established by Honored FB Lisa (Broad is a state of mind), is welcome to post in the Guest Book, following the standard (innuendo laden) established in the Manifesto.

Below all the current posts, on every Purple Page, you will see the page numbers. Just before I posted this MP, we were on page 1198. (When editing the page on 8-7-04, we were on page 639 of GB 4.) What page are we on now? Sometimes it moves pretty fast. Thanks to our One Post Per Hour Tradition, not as fast as some other sites. The Guest Book builds pages forward, so page 1 is the current/most recent page. This is different from many other sites that have forums. You'll get used to it. Because the page number that each post appears on changes, it's difficult to tell someone to go look something up on page 10, or, whatever number. But, every GB post has the day, date and time of the post. If you note that, you can easily direct someone to a specific post. Thanks to Raleighgurrl, our closed GBs, which you can still read, but in which you can no longer post, have an index, so you can pages you are looking for by month.

Near the bottom of every Guest Book page, things look like this:

See, we have yet another link to our Manifesto, as well as The One Post Per Hour Tradition. We must think those are really important.

Then there are some white boxes/fields. That's where you type to post on the GB. But wait, skip past those for a moment. Beneath the largest white box/field is a link to Odin's Guide to HTML. If you don't know HTML, you do not have to learn it to post on the Purple Pages. But, if you see others making things like paragraphs, and bold text, and links, and you want to learn, this is the link to go to. (If you don't know who Odin is, you haven't explored the Broad Links Page yet. He has his own link. He's famous).

The next link says "Back to the Broads!" That will take you back to the most recent MP.

As of 8-7-04, we also have links to our LBFCA Photo GB, where anyone can post photos they can host, and our Broadfest GB, for planning gatherings of Broads, and our BEVR GB, mentioned earlier.

Now, let's go back up to those white boxes/fields. See, there's one for 'your name,' 'your email,' your url,' and 'your message.' If you want to post a message, you only need to put a name in the 'name' box, and use the 'your message' box, the 'email' and 'url' box are optional. Really! You don't have to register, or sign up, or anything like that. But if you post before you've done your homework and start asking questions that are answered in this MP, we're just going to send you back here to study. Clay is a teacher. We value education. Do your homework before you begin to post.

If you want others to be able to email you, add your email address. If you don't, then leave that box/field blank. If you have a site of your own you want others to know about, feel free to post your url. If you don't, then just leave that field/box blank.

The name you put in the 'your name' box/field will appear at the bottom of your post as "from 'your name,'" along with the day, date, and time of your post. So when you are typing in the 'your message' box/field, you do not need to add your 'signature' at the end. If you go to a lot of other Clay Aiken fan sites, you will notice people using different style 'names.' We have a tradition at LBFCA of using regular names. Oh, we'll get an occasional 'clayz4clay' participant, but those are the exception rather than the rule. There's nothing wrong with that kind of name, I'm just trying to let you know what to expect. You decide what name you wish to be known by here. If you happen to post using the same name as someone who is already an established regular at the site, someone will probably point that out in a subsequent GB post and suggest you modify your name to distinguish you from the Broad who was here first.

If you read a few dozen pages of the GB prior to your first post, you'll quickly get an idea who the current regulars are. What? You don't have time to read a few dozen Purple Pages? Too bad. I was just going to suggest you read all of them. Yep! For the truly dedicated, the Purple Pages are a lecherous delight. No, it's not a requirement for your participation at the site, but, I do mean this as a challenging suggestion. Some people start participating, then gradually read up. Others read first. Some don't bother. Sometimes us long-timers can tell who didn't bother.

You decide for yourself. You can learn everything that happened here, when and how every LBFCA theme (like our buses, and Nekkid Twister, and Dr. Seuss, and Shakespeare, and The Ranch, and the word Brudes, and the Nekkid Happy Dance, and our Purple Tassels) and mythology (the Purple Tie Shout-Out) originated. You can see when the current Main Page Broads arrived and see when the original Founding Broads stopped posting. You can read all of our discussions about Clayton, stories of how and when we fell in love with him, learn how nicknames got picked up. You might even read a Broad Fight or two, and an occasional rant. Almost all of the Clay related links that we have discovered since March 2003 are posted somewhere in the Guest Book. An untold number of links to videos, and articles, and photos, and other sites, are all there, waiting for you to discover them.

Please be forewarned. The Purple Pages are not for the faint of heart. Things can get pretty spicy in there. Heat resistant protective gear is highly recommended for Guest Book diving.

This concludes your Introduction to LBFCA. If this feels like home to you, you'll probably fit in just fine. Dive in.

Nelle

post script

Some say I'm the voice of reason, and I've even been accused of being "too nice." I really do want you to feel welcome at LBFCA, and most of the Broads feel the same way, too (I hope!). But even I have been known to become impatient with some Newbie behavior......ok, even some behavior by Broads who have been around too long to be considered Newbies. So to help me out by giving an Introduction with a little more edge, I am pleased to introduce you to my friend, and another MP Broad, Sherry the Sherminator, presenting her:

10. Keep your posts on an intelligent, snarky, and innuendo-laden path. Do NOT Feed the TROLLS; stay on topic (CLAY).

9. Do not assume you're an expert on what Clay likes or dislikes.

8. Respect the 1 Post Per Hour Tradition unless you hear of something that would be considered "Breaking News" or peeing yourself isn't the only function about to overtake you.

7. Do not take up a whole page when the meat of what you have to say can fit into a couple of paragraphs. That's why there was a 1 Post Per Hour Tradition to begin with; it is to give you time to think out what you're going to post. If thinking isn't an option for you, what are you doing here?

6. If you think you've been cleverly reprimanded by a MP Broad, chances are you HAVE BEEN. Think about it.

5. If you're thinking of lecturing an established (long-time) Broad on behavior, or choices, think again. You're on the wrong board, but our alligators are getting hungry, and that's why we let you linger a little longer.

4. This is a Sisterhood & Brotherhood..ok...it's the best Hood of all. Do NOT take someone's comment or difference of opinion and misinterpret it as a pissing contest. Whizz at those fightin' boards and keep it off this Ranch (not to be confused with peeing yourself from excitement).

3. We're here to support and love Clay, not cash in on him. If you're making Clay novelties or collecting souvenirs to turn into profit, take it to e-Bay, and it will remain your little secret. Definitely do NOT identify yourself with the LBFCA while engaged in this activity. This is not to be confused with the favors we do for each other whereby only expenses are recovered. An elaboration of this rule: NEVER troll the GB for email addresses to offer items for sale. People come to the site to share in the ClayLove and lechery, not to be solicited for merchandise offerings.

2. Nelle is the Keeper of the Keys; don't put her in a position to act as a Moderator. It could get FUGLY!

1. Would anyone miss you if you suddenly disappeared? Lye leaves very few clues and, based on what we've seen from some posts/posters, we've stocked up.

Sherry

The following addendum added by Nelle 8-7-04:

Addendum regarding representing LBFCA, edited from a PP post by Nelle in June:

The MP Broads prefer to be the ones to represent LBFCA to the public (not to be confused with 'Representin' in public). Especially to anything remotely associated with the media. (Which we mostly really avoid contacting, unless LBFCA is specifically mentioned by a journalist or an online site.)

We like to be a welcoming site, for Clay fans who find their way to us. (Oh, of course, among Clay fans we are total Famewhores!) But, we don't particularly seek, nor desire, attention from non-Clay fans. We're fortunate to have been visited by very few trolls, and hope to continue to enjoy peace on the Purple Pages.

Many Broads have been incredibly considerate in contacting me, and/or other MP Broads, before sending cards or gifts to Clay that mentioned LBFCA, as well as when contacted to have a BEVR quoted in an online article elsewhere, and when making plans for a making a t-shirt that said LBFCA on it. The MP Broads discuss what goes on at LBFCA all the time. We appreciate the opportunity to think things through in advance with anyone who contacts us.

We consider the MP the 'public face' of LBFCA. The PPs are our playground, and while more just 'for us,' they are also, obviously, open to public scrutiny on the internet.

Some things get said, or written, off the site (in chat, via email and personal messaging, in fanfic, and of course, in person) that are spicier than what gets said on a MP. Taking the spicier stuff out into public is a shift that I want you to ponder carefully. If you are thinking of sharing something (with Broads, with other fans, with Clay or any of 'his people') that is more graphic or explicit, and deviates from the tone (witty innuendo and creative euphemism), of the MPs, please just leave LBFCA out of it.

I have NO PROBLEM with anyone who considers herself a Lecherous Broad to proudly proclaim that...which is why I celebrated on our MP Cindy doing exactly that at GMA.

I am however concerned with anyone and everyone attempting to 'define' or 'explain' who/what LBFCA represents....that's the part that I want to be left to the MP Broads, and really, to the MPs themselves.

As far as gifts and donations...of course I smile when I hear about Broads who have gathered and share their generosity. I think it's a good idea to name the individuals involved in such a gift, and explain they are the LBFCA at that event. I know of many occasions when this was done.

But, those gifts did not come from LBFCA itself. There is a distinction...they came from that group of Broads involved at that time. If something is represented to be from LBFCA itself, then I would expect that would have the approval of the MP Broads, who run the site.

Being lecherous doesn't stop us from caring about the reputation of LBFCA!

Nelle