2003-10-12
9:09 p.m.

MOAM Week: Vanilla is Sexy!

In a recent TIME magazine article an executive at RCA, was quoted responding to those on his staff who were critical that Clay and Clay's music represents some sort of lack of taste on the part of the American public:

"Sanders says he understands that some of his employees are "skeptical about the selection process and skeptical about selling a pop artist with no credibility." But, he adds, "I've told everyone they need to look at it this way: Americans buy more vanilla ice cream than any other flavor. Yes, they like their Rocky Road and Cherry Garcia, but ultimately America wants to consume vanilla. So we're going to sell the best vanilla."

Well, that characterization of Clay, let alone Clay's fans, as 'vanilla' wasn't exactly pleasant to read. But, I like to find the silver lining in every Clay-related cloud, and, got busy seeking silver. I think I found gold....maybe platinum.

Prior to confirmation of "fresh laundry," in Elle, vanilla was long suspected by Broads as a contributor to the aromatic nature of Clay. While we at LBFCA have often wondered what Clay might taste like, we had not yet deeply pondered vanilla, and, now I found the concept deliciously intriguing.

Finding vanilla.com, I discovered there might be a natural Broadly association between Clay and vanilla, when I read:

"The real truth about vanilla is that it has a remarkable story, filled with history, intrigue, passion, and piracy."

Now we're talking!

Delving deeper into the internet, I found an intriguing article, from which I've drawn a few interesting excerpts, quoted below (I've added a couple comments, in parentheses).

"Vanilla, The Tasty Orchid

Alex Challis

What is Vanilla?

Vanilla flavor comes from the fermented seedpods of the Vanilla plant, which is an orchid. The small dark specks that you see in real vanilla ice cream are the seeds. They are called beans due to their resemblance of green string-beans."

(Wow! One of the Broads named Clay 'fragrant boy-blossom' long ago! Not that most of think of him as a boy anymore....)

"The Vanilla orchid grows as a vine, and can reach lengths of 100 feet. In cultivation it is grown much as is a beanstalk, on a pole for support. There are around 50 species of Vanilla, but only three are used for flavoring. Vanilla planifolia (or V. fragrans) produces the best flavor."

(hmmmmm, vine, vine, vine.....where have I read that before in reference to Clay? Something about "golden vine...")

"Vanilla as an Aphrodisiac

Vanilla is a pleasant, aromatic aphrodisiac, and may posses magical influences in physical energy as well as love. Old Totonac lore has it that Xanat, the young daughter of the Mexican fertility goddess, loved a Totonac youth. Unable to marry him due to her divine nature, she transformed herself into a plant that would provide pleasure and happiness. She became the vanilla orchid so that she could forever belong to her human love and his people. The local people still celebrate the Vanilla Festival at the end of the harvest with dances and feasts."

(hmmmm, well, is this vanilla orchid only about Clay? Now it's starting to sound like it's about the Broads, too. Is he our Totonac youth? Not that we ever thought we were divine, but we certainly have fertile imaginations, and we would be willing to transform, well, you know, do anything for our Sweet Vanilla Bean. Flowers, and seed, and it's all about the birds and the bees...)

"Other notable uses include the Aztec Emperor, Montezuma, who would drink chocolatl before visiting his wives. In 1762 a German physician, Bezaar Zimmermann, claimed that 342 impotent men, by drinking vanilla decoctions, had been changed into astonishing good lovers of at least as many women. Madame de Pompadour, the mistress of Louis XV of France, was fond of chocolates spiced with vanilla and amber. American women once dabbed vanilla extract behind the ear as a magical love perfume. Like the saying goes: the way to a man's heart may be through his stomach. Vanilla may be added to massage oils such as jojoba oil for a pleasing effect.

In addition to its use internally, its fragrance calms, relaxes and softens anger, frustrations and irritability."

(hmmmm, sounds like the healing power of Clay, to me....)

"It is used in creams, body lotions, bath oil, perfumes and aroma lamps. In aroma therapy, it mixes well with tonka bean, rose, mimosa, lime and bergamot."

(definitely gotta find some vanilla body lotion....)

Continuing on this research journey, I found the above story of the daughter of the Mexican fertility goddess repeated, with the following introduction in another lusty vanilla article:

"Vanilla was cultivated for its long seedpods by the Totonac tribe of Mexico before the Aztecs rose to power. It is said that 'the Tontonacas still grow Vanilla vines with almost religious devotion because to them it was the gift of the gods...'"

Ok, I will not even comment on the long seedpod...some things are best left to the Purple Pages. The article went on to repeat the information about Montezuma and his Broads, I mean, harem, er, wives:

"Is Vanilla an aphrodisiac? The Aztecs thought so. An integral part of the royal drink "chocolatl" was vanilla. When Cortez visited the court of Emperor Montezuma of Mexico, he found that Montezuma 'took no other beverage than the chocolatl, a potation of chocolate, flavored with vanilla and spices, and so prepared as to be reduced to a froth of the consistency of honey, which gradually dissolved in the mouth and was taken cold.' The fact that Montezuma consumed his "chocolatl" in goblets before entering his harem led to the belief that it was an aphrodisiac."

Then, returning to the wondrous vanilla.com, I hit the mother lode (Broad lode?) on wild and sexy vanilla, with a lengthy page at the site, titled Sex, Love and the Vanilla Bean.

My sincere apologies for any copyright infringement, but, this stuff is all so lecherously Broad worthy, I have to share it with you in it's entirety (don't be put off by the early connection of vanilla to Clay's chocolate allergen, vanilla comes out ahead ;-):

"Sex, Love and the Vanilla Bean

Ah, the delicious allure of romance, the intensity of a new infatuation, the rapture of falling in love. Pretty powerful stuff, the pleasures and passions of romance and love. Spring, summer, fall and winter, we're in love with the idea of love. The perfume industry thrives on our desire to lure and captivate the object of our affection and vanilla performs an important role in the drama. While the romantic sunset at the seashore and that special song may make us swoon, taste and smell are big players in the game of love.

So, how does vanilla steal the show? Is it an aphrodisiac? Will it enhance our love lives? Let's explore a few of the myths and facts surrounding the illustrious bean to see if, indeed, there are seeds of amorous evidence inside those sleek black pods.

In every language there's some version of "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." The first growers and users of chocolate and vanilla attest to this saying. The famous Azteca drink, Chocolatl, did not begin with the Azteca, but with the Maya. The Maya called the magic beans cacao from which we created the words "chocolate" and "cocoa." The generous Maya shared with other Mesoamericans their fabulous beverage which, in addition to chocolate, included vanilla, corn, allspice, chile, and other flavorings. We can assume the Mesoamericans knew of chocolate and vanilla's alleged power since both cocoa beans and vanilla pods were valuable enough to be used as money. When money grows on trees and vines it's bound to be a source of interest with the locals. The Azteca claimed the drink as their own after conquering the people of the lowland tropics. They then taxed the Maya, Totonaca, and others, and demanded payment in cacao and vanilla beans. This insured that the king always had a supply of sexy ingredients in the royal pantry.

As the Aztecas generally frowned on the use of alcoholic beverages, Chocolatl was their drug of choice and was enjoyed by royalty, nobility, and warriors. It was served after banquets along with smoking tubes of tobacco in the same way that brandy and cigars are now served after a celebratory meal. Bernal Diaz was Cortes' right hand man at the time of the Conquest, and as an old man he wrote about their adventures. He said that the Azteca Emperor Moctezuma ate frugally at the great events, but drank as many as 50 cups of Chocolatl, which was said to be the reason for his success with women. Although we can't ask Moctezuma his opinion of Chocolatl, he was known to maintain a large harem.

The Spaniards were sufficiently enough impressed that they returned to Spain with news that chocolate and vanilla were an erotic duo. Chocolate and vanilla were made into an all-purpose drink that quenched one's thirst, warmed the body, served as a medicine, and acted as an aphrodisiac. In the curious medical beliefs of the time, chocolate was considered "cold." It therefore was good for the body. Vanilla, on the other hand, was considered "hot." Denis Diderot, a French intellectual in the 1700s, and a prolific writer on many topics, believed that while chocolate was good, many of the additional flavorings added to it were bad, unless you were in an amorous mood. Like many of his contemporaries, he warns: "The pleasant scent and heightened taste it (vanilla) gives to chocolate has made it very popular, but long experience having taught us that it is extremely heating, its use has become less frequent, and people who prefer to care for their health rather than please their senses abstain completely." It makes one wonder how many people then - and now - cared more for their health than their chocolate.

By the 1600s, vanilla was considered a flavor worthy of being served on its own merits. As vanilla was "hot," the doctors of the time believed that those who used it got "hot" as well. In the 1700s vanilla was recommended by physicians and alchemists to be drunk as a tincture or infusion in order to ensure male potency. Bezaar Zimmermann, a German physician, in his article, "On Experiences" (1762) claimed that, "No fewer than 342 impotent men, by drinking vanilla decoctions, had changed into astonishing lovers of at least as many women."

Thomas Jefferson is credited with vanilla's arrival in the United States. When he returned from his ambassadorship in France in 1789, he was dismayed to discover that no one in the States knew about vanilla, so he wrote his French attach� requesting that he send him 50 vanilla pods. Clearly Jefferson's personal passion was well received since soon it was used as a flavoring and a medicine, and - you're right - an aphrodisiac. In the 1800s Dr. John King, advised in the American Dispensatory, that one should use vanilla to, "stimulate the sexual propensities." He went on to give a very carefully detailed recipe for a decoction promising amorous evenings. If the good doctor was right, a hefty swig of vanilla extract before bedtime could work like a charm.

While some drank vanilla in their pursuit of love, many others found that its delicate persuasive aroma was just as powerful. The Totonaca wore vanilla beans in their hats and used it to perfume their homes, a practice they continue today. They used the oil from the drying vanilla beans to rub on their skin until their bodies glistened. The Europeans - especially the French - created perfumes from vanilla pods, not only to wear but also to fragrance their tobacco and snuff. When vanilla extracts came onto the market at the end of the 19th century, more than a few savvy women dabbed a little behind their ears and onto their wrists, thereby creating the ultimate in perfumes - a sensual aroma that also conjured up the homey pleasures of food fresh from the kitchen. Smart modern women have found that fragrances with strong vanilla notes draw an attentive audience with minimal effort.

There's something about the scent of vanilla that's at once sexy and erotic, sweet and innocent. It's an ingredient in sultry, exotic, and mysterious Oriental fragrances, romantic floral bouquets, sophisticated and confident modern perfumes and even in sensual, relaxing, and calming scents. Judging by its popularity as a fragrance in everything from bodycare to candles and air fresheners, vanilla has that secret something that draws us in. This brings us to some tests done by neurologist Alan Hirsch of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.

In controlled tests designed to better understand the connection between smell and sexual arousal, Dr. Hirsch had volunteers wear masks scented with an array of odors. Several fragrance combinations were found to be very effective in increasing penile blood flow. These included lavender and pumpkin pie, doughnut and black licorice and pumpkin pie and doughnut. However, mature men were most aroused by just one simple smell...vanilla! Modern science has proven what native people figured out centuries ago, and many of us discovered on our own -- whether you prefer to eat, drink, or smell it, vanilla is definitely a potent character in the arena of love!

In the past, alleged aphrodisiacs were so rare and expensive that only royalty and nobility were permitted to use them or could afford to indulge. As kings and noblemen saw no earthly reason to share the wealth, it's only in the past two hundred years that folks like us could conduct our own unbiased research. So where do you start? In our product boutique of course! All the ingredients are waiting there for you. All you need to do is to apply them to your daily life!"

Thank you for that, vanilla.com! (I was even happy to leave in that little plug for their products at the end).

Aphrodisiac? Hot? Extremely heating? At once sexy and erotic, yet sweet and innocent? Rub it on your body? Hello, Clay Aiken!

Even this photo of the vanilla orchid now seems excessively erotic:

Returning to Vanilla, the Tasty Orchid article, it suggests the following:

"Recipe for a Romantic Evening, Stimulating all 5 senses:

An arrangement of Dendrobium orchid sprays, for the eyes.
Vanilla scented candles, for the nose.
Chocolates served with Vanilla Tea, for the taste buds.
Massage Oil with Vanilla extract added, for touch.
Mozart, Barry White, or your favorite artist, for the ears. (Even Vanilla Ice if you are so inclined.)"

Well, we know whose music the Broads will be playing. If things get too hot, maybe indulge in something sweet and chilled:

Nelle
thanks to Cindy for the Vanilla For A Change pic