Naughty Santa Clay wonders what else he might have inspired this year...

Clayton the Red-Haired Pop Star
(lovingly rewritten by Julie)

You know Justin, Christina, Beyonce, and Britney
Ludacris, JC, Ashanti, and Whitney
But do you recall the most dreamy pop star of all?

Clayton the Red-Haired Pop Star
Had a talent straight from God
And if you ever heard him
You would jump up and applaud

All of the other pop stars
Reveled in their "lewd-ity"
But Clayton was a pop star
Who lived his life responsibly

Cowards, critics, and the press
Said he had no range
"People want their sex and drugs
And that's never gonna change!"

Now that he's selling millions
Those execs may see the light
And let Clay the Red-Haired Pop Star
Go ahead and do what's right!

Please Don't Be Such a Pain, Dear
(lyrics by Nonnie of the Aiken Breakin' Broads, and Honorary Lech)

Please don't be such a pain, dear,
Clay is singing on the air,
I've waited so long to see him,
So won't you kindly disappear?

Why don't you go outside, dear?
There must be something you can do,
If you make a peep while Clay is singing,
I swear I'm gonna bitch-slap you!

If you ask if I love you,
Then my answer is, "Of course!
But if you interfere with Clay,
I'll be filing for divorce!"

So, see your friends and have a beer, dear,
While I wallow in my Clay delight,
You know how hot Clay makes me feel,
So you might get your rocks off tonight!

Clayton the Red Haired Crooner
(an ode to AI2 by our own Cindy)

Clayton the Red Haired Crooner
Had a very lovely voice,
And if you ever heard it
You would jump up and rejoice.

Slimon the air-head judge
Used to laugh and call him names.
He never gave poor Clayton
A chance to win the Idol games.

Then one fateful autumn night,
Randy came to say:
Clayton with a voice that good,
Won't you come Hollywood?"

All of the Broads soon loved him,
And they shouted out with glee:
"Clayton the Red Haired Crooner,
You'll go down in history!"

Clayton The Red-Haired Idol
(masterfully created by Wendy in FL)

You know Ruben and Kelly and Justin and Carmen...
Ricky and Kimberme and Kim Locke and Ryan...
But do you recall????
The most famous Idol of all...

Clayton the Red-Haired Idol,
Had a very purdy voice...
And if you ever heard him...
He would likely be your choice.

All of the Broads in Broadland
like to sit and stare and drool...
They ju-st love their Clayton...
Because he is so ding dang cool...

Then one day in May it seemed...
Clayton didn't win...
But by the time November came...
He was multi-platunim... (okay, okay "inum")

Oh how the Broads they loved him...
as they shouted out with gleee...
Clayton the Red-Haired Idol...
You'll go down on her-stor-y...
(Uh, I mean "in"... whoopsie!)

Clayton's Christmas Greeting

Many thanks to ClaysTramp for the pic of Naughty Santa Clay!!